A Life Worth Living Is Life Lived To Serve

The choir led us to sing the song during the Praise and Worship session. We sang with all our hearts. The song reverberated through the hall. The Pastor requested that we take the song again when he addressed the church. It was as we sang again that the last line of the chorus caught my attention. It caught fire in my spirit. The line wrapped itself tightly around my heart. It re-echoed in my mind for days afterwards.

“I live to serve Your majesty.”

The lyrics called out to me, urging an account of my life;

“Am I living my life to serve my King?”

“Am I living a life of service to His Majesty, the Most High God, the King of all Kings?”

I pondered on these questions for many days. It is amazing how just one line of a song can weave itself into our subconscious, becoming a part of our thoughts as we wake up in the morning, as we doze off to sleep at night and several times in between. That has been the case with me with this one line in the chorus of the song; “King of Kings, Majesty” written by Jarrod Cooper.

What Kind of Life Are We Living:

Self-focussed?

Philippians 2: 3-4 says “Do not be selfish;” Admonishing us to do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. It also admonishes us not to be concerned only for or look only to our own interest but to be concerned for the interest of others. The worst thing we can do with our lives is to live only for ourselves—focussing only on our needs, wants and gains.

The litmus test of living a selfish life as a Christian is the content of our prayers. Is your prayer more about you, yourself and everything you want God to do for you? God did not put us on earth to live for ourselves.

The next pertinent question we need to ask ourselves is about the motive for what we are doing under the canopy of service to God. Is it to call attention or bring glory to us? Whose interest is being served by our service?

When we do not with humility consider others, we are exhibiting pride and a preoccupation with self. Humility before God and man is a virtue every child of God need to strive constantly for. Our humility in service to God is demonstrated when we are concerned about the interest of others especially those in the household of faith.

Jesus demonstrated humility and selfless concern for others. We are called as believers to have the same mind as is Christ. To have the same mindset as Jesus Christ is to be others focussed.

We also need to note that Jesus did not serve others out of convenience. It cost Him something—it cost Him His life. We are self-oriented if we are serving out of convenience.

Others-focussed?

The bottom-line here is that Jesus did not come to be served but to serve. We have been called to be like Jesus in every way—to selflessly serve others. We become more like Jesus as we live a life of service. A life well lived is a life lived in service of God through service to humanity.

God has given each of us gifts, talents and abilities. We are to be generous with these different gifts God gave us—using them to serve and bless others—as faithful stewards of God’s manifold grace (1Peter 4:10). So that at the end of it all, God gets all the glory, praise and adoration. The service that you perform does not only supply the needs of the Lord's people, but it is also overflowing in many expressions of thanks to God.

I attended the oldest girls’ school in Lagos, Nigeria—Methodist Girls High School, Yaba, Lagos. The Motto of my Alma mater is In Love Serve One Another. I learnt about serving others in love from this school.

“The best use of your life is to invest your life in something that will outlast it” – Rick Warren

I truly concur with Rick Warren. The best way to live life is to live such that the echo of the impact of the life lived will continue to resonate long after that life is over. That is the way I want to live my life, in such a way that I will leave a lasting legacy that will continue cause an overflow of praise to God.

Serving The King:

I am serving my King when the things that I do, the services I render, brings glory and honour to Majestic King of Kings. I am serving my King when it is all about Him, about pleasing Him and doing His will. I am indeed serving my King when my act of service is out of submission and obedience to God and not out of convenience.

In everything Jesus did and said, He perfectly reflected the heart of the God. We are chosen by God as His instruments to do His work, to speak out for Him and to show others the goodness of God, that is, serving at the pleasure of our King.

We are serving the King when our act of service reveals God’s attribute of goodness, kindness and generosity to others.

How can we serve our King?

I found a motion song and study for God’s little ones at the hymnary.org titled “Serving The King” written in 1887 by John Hood, which detailed just how every part of our bodies can be used to serve the King of Kings irrespective of how little or insignificant we may think ourselves to be.

“Only a pair of dimpled hands

How can they serve our King?

Some ways of helping others find,

And little love-gifts bring.”

When I live to serve His Majesty, I don’t need self-efforts. I don’t need strive on my own. I only need to surrender every part of my being to the work of the Holy Spirit in me. For it is the Holy Spirit at work in us who points us in the direction of where the needs we can best serve are.

Here and now, I recommit myself to serve at the pleasure of my King. I must live each day of my life to serve His Majesty, the King of Glory, who loves me so much that He gave His only begotten Son for me and kept me by His might hands.

Dear Friends, what about you? What does it mean to you to live to serve His Majesty? How would you commit yourself to live a life worth living, a life that lives behind a lasting legacy?

Honestly, a life worth living is life lived to serve. A life lived just for self or for this moment alone is a wasted life.

Join me to raise 360 gifts items to bring about a 360-degree turnaround for good in the lives of two women. One is an amputee. The other is a wheelchair-bound widow. These gift items will be sold at a Christmas Charity Bazaar in Geneva. Proceeds from the sales of donated gift items will be used to support these two women through the provision of prosthesis, wheelchair and income generating activities.

Lessons They Taught Me On Generous Liberal Giving_Part 3

It was the second day of shopping. My first son was driving. The previous day, we did two shops in a record time. My son is a shoot the bull’s eye shopper—go in, pick the stuff on your list and head to the cashier. Typical shopping tactics of most men. It was the same on this day. It took the joy out of shopping for me but I dared not complain, my son was becoming support-fatigued.

The last one month had been packed with several back-to-back events, and I was directly involved in organizing them. The next one was in two days. I depend heavily on my family to support me in executing every activity I commit myself to and they know I don’t do half-measures.

We picked up my second son from school on the way home. And that began a discussion between the boys on how much Mum takes on. At the end of the last event I organised, they had asked me why I had to take the lead in every event that needs to be organized. My mother responded while I was still thinking of an appropriate answer, “When God gives you a gift, you have to use it to bless others.”

“Hmm! But why does it have to be Mum all the time?” he asked his grandma.

I responded this time, emphasising that we are expected to use the gifts, skills and talents God gave us to serve others (1Peter 4:10). But I heard him loud and clear. Each time I commit myself to something, I commit my entire family, sometimes over-committing them and requiring some sacrifice on their part. So on this occasion I knew where the discussion was going, or so I thought.

As we discussed the plans for the coming days and what I would require of them, they did not ask the same question again, they simply stated, “Mum is involved in so many things.”

“I am a Proverbs 31 woman,” I chipped in. That’s who I aspire to be.

“And we are compelled to be Proverbs 31 children without a choice.”

Whoops! I caught my breath. I thought carefully before going further. “Well, whatever we do, we must do as unto God. God loves a cheerful giver, so I really pray that you will also be cheerful Proverbs 31 children. God doesn't owe any man, He will surely reward your labour of love.”

My children were learning another hard lesson on sacrificial giving of self in the service of others, this time not of their own volition, but imposed on them by their mother’s passion to go the extra mile to be a blessing to others.

As I write the concluding part of Lessons They Taught me on Liberal Generous Giving today, my sons are uppermost on my mind. Noting that as we relentlessly pursue the goal of liberal generous giving, it will come at a cost. Not only for us but also for the significant people in our lives. Therefore, they need to be on board with us so that it does not become a drudgery for them. They also need to know that the seed of the righteous shall be blessed.

Giving, cheerfully and generously with a willing heart, has to be a way of life for the Christian who understands the grace of God. The person, who understands like David, that everything we have comes from God and that his life does not consist of what he has, will be a liberal giver. We are merely giving back what He first gave us. We know that for us to dwell in the full dimension of grace, where God causes all grace to abound to us, we must be willing to abound in good works as well, which requires generous, liberal, and often sacrificial giving.

David:

Before became King over Israel and while he was still running from Saul, David exhibited the ability to be a generous and considerate giver. In 1Sam 30, we observe that David recognized that it was God, Who gave him victory and the ability to recover all he lost without fail and with interest, he was therefore willingly to graciously share of the plunder (vs. 25). He also remembered those who ministered to his needs during his season of wandering. This is the dictate of a grateful heart—to remember your helpers.

David affirmed in 1Chronicles 29:14, that all things come from God. He and his people considered that they, who were once slaves in Egypt and in poverty, had attained such affluence that they had liberal hearts and willing spirits to give in such a noteworthy manner, because all they have was given to them by God. They acknowledged God as the Fountain of goodness. David then prayed that God will keep this generous spirit alive forever in his people with their hearts firmly set on God (vs19).

It is my earnest prayer that God will keep alive a generous, liberal and willing spirit in us and our children always.

Barzillai:

When David, in his bid to escape from Absalom, came to Manahaim. Three chieftains took care of him and his men. Barzallai was one of them. They said, “The people have become hungry and tired and thirsty in the desert… (2Sam 17:27-29). And they provided them with beddings, pottery and diverse kinds of food. They recognised a need and responded to it.

Another point to note is that Barzallai was an infirmed and very old man with great wealth. He considered it an honour to be of service to the King at his time of need. I learnt from him that old age or infirmities are no barriers to generous and liberal giving.

He proved that no one is too old to give, just as the young boy who willing gave his lunch of five loaves of bread and two fishes in John 6:9, proved that no one is too young to give sacrificially. This young boy gave his lunch for five thousand men to be fed with left over. I imagine that he must be one of those who went home with one of the twelve baskets left over.

The Wealthy Shunamite Woman:

She had a lifestyle of giving and hospitality. She willingly opened her door to the Prophet of God and displayed sensitivity to his needs. She went the extra mile to provide for his comfort.

She taught me to be on the lookout for those who might be in need of my support.

The Queen of Sheba:

Another wealthy woman. She blessed Solomon in his abundance. She sowed liberally the seeds of abundance into his life. And she did not return home empty-handed.

She taught me that I can be a blessing, not only to those in need but also to those who have abundance, in a way that will impact their lives.

“Those who consider God as the Giver of their abundance will dispose of it with fairness and liberality.”

The Proverbs 31 Woman:

She is very generous. She opens her hands to the poor and reaches out her filled hands to the needy. She works very hard to have enough to give to others.

This is the woman I want to be. She is a woman after my heart.

Hallelujah! How blessed is the man, how blessed is the woman, who fear God, who cherish and relish His commandments. Their children shall be robust (successful) on earth. And the homes of the upright shall be blessed. Their houses brim with wealth. And a generosity that never runs dry (Ps 112. The Message paraphrased). There is a blessing and reward awaiting liberal generous givers and their children after them.

All for God’s glory:

God must receive the all the glory for all the gifts He blessed us with, including the ability to be liberal and generous, the grace to be a giver. Everything we have and everything we give, we have received from God’s generous hands, these we must give back cheerfully and with a willing heart

Dear Friends, it has been illuminating for me to share with you these lessons I am learning on generous and liberal giving. I have been given a second chance at life. By the grace of God, I want this precious gift of life to make a resounding impact on lives to the glory of God.

My charge to you:

“Make your gift of a life count by deliberately choosing to live an extraordinary life, such that the world resonates with the echo of your impact.”

(From 2014 Return of the Helper’s Conference Facebook page)

I encourage you to live an extraordinary life of generous and liberal giving that never runs dry but keeps going on and on. It is a lasting legacy that will last forever, setting up your children for God's blessings.

This piece is dedicated to my two sons who selflessly and sacrificially give their energy and time to support me to fulfil my calling and live my dreams.

Ose and Ehi, your sterling and solid qualities shall impact lives for good always, in Jesus name.

To Share Or Not To Share: Part 2

First of all, let me apologize for my absence from this space for the past two weeks. I had many balls to juggle in the air. I cannot complain because it has been my prayer to be gainfully engaged but I did not anticipate the overwhelming volume of things that would daily demand my urgent attention. I learnt to commit my arm-long list of things-to-do to God each day in prayer and keep my focus on His agenda.

This blog refused to be written in a hurry. When I started the discussion three weeks ago, I did not expect the volume and seriousness of the response it would generate. I am very grateful to all those who responded both on the blog and by email. Thank you very much for your contributions. They were insightful.

There were many viewpoints provided and a number of issues highlighted. It appeared that this is an issue that many couples are struggling with. Also, I got some feedback that were personal and required some counselling. It was at this point that I decided to go back to the Lord in prayer. I needed His leading and guidance to address this issue and in particular to give the right counsel to those who presented personal situation.

Pooling together all the contributions I received, with a further study of the Word and vast literature available on the subject, I would like to address this issue from three premises:

1.       God’s plan and desire for marriage.

2.       What secrets, lies and withholding information does to the relationship.

3.       Instances when discretion and sound judgment is required.

God’s plan and desire for marriage:

We can glean from Genesis 2: 24 – 25 that God desired for a man to be united to his wife and for the two to become one flesh. Then, we note that the two were both naked and they felt no shame: “they were not ashamed.” That is, not embarrassed in each other’s presence

We can conclude from these two verses and many others that referred to it in the New Testament, that God’s will is for husband and wife to be in spiritual and functional unity, walking in integrity and serving God together. “The biblical concept of marriage is an oneness between two individuals that pictures the oneness of Christ with His church.  When this harmony, unity and oneness is operative, the entire society prospers under the hand of God” (1).

Both the husband and the wife are expected to supply what the other lack so that they can become truly one flesh in complete unity, complementing each other.

“Nakedness suggests that they were at ease with each other without any fear of exploitation”

– Bible Knowledge Commentary.

This is the degree of fellowship that God intended for marriage, where there is no fear of exploitation or a potential for evil to be done to one another, but a depth of trust which indicates that they will both act in the best interest of each other. Anything that will cause a couple not to be at ease and open to each other has the potential to destabilize the unity and harmony God intends for them to share.

True friends should not feel the need to hide what they are doing from each other. “And the Lord said, shall I hide from Abraham that which I do?” (Gen. 18:17). Abraham was a friend of God. True friends communicate freely with each other without fear. Husbands and wives should shared such an intimate relationship, which allows for free and open communication.

Openness is what God designed for marriage as they become one flesh. God’s desire is for husband and wife to have a marriage where secrets cannot have a foothold.

Secrets, lies and withholding information does and its effect on the relationship:

Surprises are great in a marriage once in a while but they are not likely to be a constant dynamics of the relationship. 

“Where transparency and trust are the forefront of a marriage, surprises should never be a problem” – Kate Aldrich (www.onefleshmarriage.com)

Secrets are those things you do not INTEND to tell your spouse. Secrets will keep us from connecting at a deeper level. Keeping secrets imply a certain level of “shadiness” that will limit openness in a relationship. Withholding information and keeping secrets can be counter-productive to growing an open, honest and healthy relationship. Once it becomes easy to keep “little secrets” it will not be long before we begin to keep big secrets, which would be detrimental to our marriage.

Sharing information should be a constant practice in trust and honesty. Open and honest communication is not only the best way to build a healthy relationship, it is the foundation of any healthy relationship. Indeed, trust and honesty are the backbones of a good relationship.

Secrecy robs the relationship of intimacy. It creates a gulf between the couple. The more you hide from each other, the more you turn away from each other, and the wider the gulf becomes. Even when physical intimacy appears to be ok or even great, emotional and spiritual intimacy becomes limited and strained.

-          How can you truly be one flesh with someone you cannot share your heart with, someone locked out of the some areas of your life?

-      How can you pray in unity with someone you are lying to or not telling the truth when asked?

What is the motive for not sharing? The crux of the matter is still WHY we are withholding information from each other.

-          Is it in the best interest of the other party?

-          Does it require lying or sidestepping the truth?

There should not be any sphere of our lives as a couple that is not accessible to the person we are one flesh with in a healthy marriage. That does not how mean that we don’t occasionally need our space or time alone, which is by mutual consent.

Instances when discretion and sound judgment is required:

I would like to share two Biblical stories as case studies of when discretion and sound judgment were exercised in the Bible with regard to sharing information.

Abigail:

The Bible noted in 1Samuel 25 that she was an intelligent and beautiful woman with good understanding. She was married to Nabal. Her husband was described as churlish, mean, wicked and evil in his doing. No one can talk to him – does what he wants to do regardless of the consequences. He was an ungrateful man, who could not show even the required societal courtesy. His wickedness put his family at a great risk.

When Abigail was informed of her husband’s action and the evil that has been determined against her household. Her reaction was spontaneous – she wasted no time to initiate remedial action (1Samuel 28:18). Note verse 19: “…But she did not tell her husband Nabal” what she was going to do. Wisdom dictated that she took action without her husband’s knowledge.

She pleaded and interceded for her unthinking and unwise husband, and her entire household. She also prevented David from having on his conscience the burden of needless bloodshed. After she had succeeded in averting evil from her household, she went to her husband to tell him. Here again, she exercised discretion and wisdom by waiting for the right time, she told him nothing because he was drunk. She waited until morning when he had become sober, and she told him ALL that had happened.

She did not lie to her husband about the events that took place neither did she withhold the information from him. But knowing the kind of man her husband was, she managed the situation with discretion, good judgment and wisdom. At the appropriate time she told him everything.

There are still men and women who don’t listen to others and only do what they want to do even to the extent of putting their families at risk. If you are married to such a person how can you exercise discretion in managing sensitive situations in your relationship without telling lies and being dishonest with your spouse?

When crisis thrusts itself on us, we need to take a tight rein on ourselves and let the Holy Spirit guide. I believe we should not depend on our own reasoning to deal with such a situation but on God’s grace and help, and expect His grace to work on our behalf. We can also seek counsel from respected Christians.

Abraham (Genesis 22):

Abraham and Sarah waited 25 years for Isaac, the child of promise, to be born. Then, God tested Abraham by asking him to sacrifice his only son whom he loved on a mountain he was to be shown. The Bible recorded that early the next morning Abraham got up and saddled his donkey and took his servants and his son with him on the journey. His response was instant and of unquestioning obedience.

The question as raised by some of the contributors to this discussion was; did Abraham consult with Sarah overnight and told her about God’s instruction? Obviously the answer is a resounding NO! I don’t believe that Sarah or any woman for that matter would have willingly given up a child, she waited so long for without a strong argument.

But Abraham knew God as a covenant keeping God. He knew that in matters concerning God’s clear instructions, he could not consult with flesh and blood but simply to act in quiet submissive obedience.

I learnt from this story that there will be instances when we cannot consult with flesh and blood when God gives a clear instruction that requires our submissive obedience. I believe that under such circumstances God’s grace will also be available to the spouse to understand why such obedience is required and be supportive of it.

Some other highlights from the feedback:

-          While transparency is important, a couple may need to exercise discretion in sharing something a third party had shared in confidence. When this is shared between the couple, it should be only for the purpose of praying and not for discussion with another person.

-          God said that two is better than one. It is important that couples should make decisions about issues that concerns their lives together.

-          Keeping secrets from our spouse erodes confidence and creates opportunities for suspicion and distrust.

God is a God of knowledge, by Him are actions weighed. He knows us inside out and He know the motive behind all we do. We will account to Him for all our actions. It is possible to take remedial actions when we have not acted right, but first seek God’s face and guidance, and possibly godly counsel.

Today’s post has been long and extensive in the bid to cover as much angle as possible on this subject. I pray that you will all experience the true oneness that God designed for your marriage and trust that it will enrich your relationship.

1.       http://www.studymode.com/essays/Anthropology-Marriage-And-Divorce-1007854.html

To Share or Not To Share

In today’s blog post, I want to initiate a discussion, which I hope all my readers will be willing to contribute to. I will pose a number of questions to guide this discussion.

Recently, I planned a surprise party to celebrate my husband’s 50^th birthday. In order to keep the surprise element, I had to do a number of things behind his back, withhold important information and limit what I shared with him.

This was the most difficult part of the process. There were many times that I had engaged in discussions with many of his old friends, especially those he had been out of touch with, in search of information about his days in the university. In my usual practice, I would download my entire day including conversations I had to him at the end of the day, when we are together. But during this period, I had to exercise extreme caution not to share this information with him.

I guarded my cell phone as if my life depended on it. It is not unusual for him to pick my phone when it rings and answer it for me or read out incoming text messages to me. It was an edgy, stand-on-the-toes period for me. I felt very bad on a number of occasions that I could not share important information with him. There was once he was worried that he had not heard from his longest friend despite trying to reach him a few times. I had spoken to the friend, and knew what was going on at his end but could not offer any reassurance to my husband as I would have had to explain why I could reach his friend and he could not. Some of our friends had limited contact with him so as not to accidentally divulge information about the event.

There was another occasion when I was alone at home and needed to go out to make arrangements for the venue of the event. At that time, I needed some assistance to get ready if I had to go out. My house is on multiple levels and I required support moving from one level to the other. I had arranged for a friend to take me out. I managed to get ready by myself and went out to meet my friend. It was the first time I would leave the house without any assistance getting ready after a long period of time, and I could not share this joy with him when I spoke to him later in the day. That was difficult.

For some time, communication was strained and tense. I was not spontaneous as I normally would be in sharing information. I was too guarded. I knew he was aware that I was up to something and definitely would plan an event to celebrate his birthday, but I also knew he would wonder how I was going to do it when I could not go out on my own and there was no movement in the family account.

This scenario I described above did not pose any serious threat to our relationship, but this as well as other situations that I have been privy to in the past, got me thinking about the following:

•  To what extent should a couple withhold information from each other?
•  Under what circumstances can a couple refrain from sharing information with each other?
•  How do you maintain openness, transparency and communion in a relationship when a couple keep secrets from each other?
•  In what ways would withholding information from your spouse provide grounds for lying or sidestepping the truth?
• How do you tell the truth or share information when you know that it may grieve the person you are in relationship with?
• How important is information sharing in promoting trust and honesty between a couple?
• What should you share and what should you not share?
• When the Bible says that the two shall become one, does this imply sharing everything?
• Even when our intentions are good and we are trying to protect the other party in the relationship, how would they feel if they eventually find out the truth?
• What are the things that can erode trust in a relationship?

I have heard that the truth will always come out no matter how long it takes. If this be the case, what good does it serve to withhold the truth from the significant people that we are in relationship with?

Luke 8:17 says “For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed (revealed), and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open,” what is the implication of this verse for those in a relationship?

I am not being naive. I know people who have found themselves in very difficult relationships where they have learnt to be guarded in what they share with their spouses as a coping mechanism. Neither am I after proposing an unnecessary argument or debate. However, I believe that there is something to discuss here that we all can learn from and thereby enrich our relationships.

My plan is to pool together salient points from your responses and prepare a blog post on this subject which I pray will help someone at a crossroad of decision making. 

Please do share your thoughts on this subject in the comment box below. 

The Incredible Potentials of a Seed

Today's blog post takes its leap from the blog I posted last week:  Connecting Lives Beyond Imagination (click on the link to follow). I was overwhelmed by the way God used one man’s act of obedience to set in motion a series of reactions, interactions and connections which is providing opportunities for open doors for many, and enabling us to pursue our dreams and the fulfillment of our destinies.

Through these series of connections and linkages, I am coming to a deeper understanding that God sees and knows the great potentials of our ordinariness or the things we consider to be ordinary.

A Seed:

Mustard Seed

The black mustard seed, which was the smallest seed grown by the first century farmer in Ancient Israel, is known to grow to the heights of 3.7 meters (12 feet). The seeds of the orchid flower are like minute dust particles, so tiny that it cannot be seen by unaided human eyes, yet it grows into the beautiful orchid plants which blossoms in the forest, in our gardens and homes.

Seeds have great potentials and when nurtured, they produce abundance, greatness and significance. Seeds multiply. Every seed sown by the sower has the potentials to produce many more seeds. One little tiny seed has the potential to multiply itself up to 10000%. Each time I hold a cob of corn in my hands, I attempt to count the number of the grains as I nibble them off the rows. I am simply amazed that all of them came from just one seed of corn. And each stalk of corn has multiple cobs on it. The multiplication is simply exponential. Every farmer knows this truth.

Seeds carry the power of continuity because each grain of corn on the cob is a potential seed with the potential for multiplication and to continue the spread of the corn beyond the point where it was first planted.

No seed is ordinary no matter how tiny or invisible to human eyes as it may be. Every seed is a seed of destiny because it has the capacity to influence destiny. Every seed is a seed of significance because it has the potential to make a difference. Every seed is a seed of promise, because it carries a promise to bring about a bountiful harvest.

Something of great and immense significance has been infused by God into the DNA of a small tiny seed.

You are a Seed:

In Genesis 9, God pronounced on Noah and his sons a blessing, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth.” One man and his three sons are to multiply until the whole earth is filled. Awesome! What a great potential for multiplication and fruitfulness this is?

God also promised to make Abraham exceedingly fruitful and to multiply him greatly, and make him father of many nations (Gen. 17: 2). He had placed in Abraham a seed that will bring forth many nations, though for almost a hundred years the seed laid dormant. One man, but in him lives the seed from which many people and many nations would arise.

Our God is a God of exponential increase. He made a great and mighty nation of one man. Kings were birthed from him because God said of Sarah that Kings of people shall come from her.

We also, the seed of Abraham, and like seeds, we have stored in us the potentials for greatness and significance. God has placed in us the seed of greatness and the seed of significance. For the moment, that potential may be dormant. And we may not know what exactly this potential stored up in us is or what we have been called to do. Nonetheless, it is worth waiting patiently for it to be revealed and for us to discover it. Be assured that you have the potential for significance hidden within you. There is something unique and only-you-can-do that God has gifted and equipped you for. You can depend on the help of the Holy Spirit to find it and to act upon it.

The Seeds We Sow:

We as the children of Abraham are blessed to be a blessing and an inexhaustible dispenser of good to others. We can indeed be the conduits of God’s answer to someone’s prayer.

When we sow seeds of mercy and kindness into the lives of those God bring along our way, and this seed is nurtured by the grace of God, it affects and changes the hearts and lives of the receiver, bringing forth a spiritual harvest of eternal value.

We can sow the seed of words of encouragement, our time, our energy, and our resources into the lives of others. We can be the ones God can use to open doors of opportunities to others. It only requires our willingness to listen and to obey the leading of God, and a desire to make a difference in every sphere of influence God has given us. We sow seeds into the lives of people when we make the effort to invest in them.

The seed we sow into the lives of people God brings across our path may seem unimportant and inconsequential. As long as we are following the leading of the Holy Spirit, the God of exponential multiplication and great harvest, will multiply that seed beyond our wildest imagination to the glory and honour of His Holy name.

Do not despise, scorn or make light the days of small beginnings or the day of small things (Zechariah 4:10) in your life and in the lives of those around you. God often uses the weak and unlikely instruments to bring about great things. It is an act of unbelief and ingratitude to scorn humble beginnings. It is an evidence of pride to despise the days of small beginnings in the lives of other people.

Little deeds of kindness can snowball to touch lives of many for good and become a spring board to launch others into living in their God-ordained destiny. You never can imagine how far God can use one act of kindness. Little seeds of mercy sown into lives can grow to reach many more lives across many continents.

“Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much” – Luke 16:10. Can God trust you and me to sow these tiny little seeds of kindness, mercy and compassion into the lives of His precious ones?

Often, a seed has to wait for many months before it gets the opportunity and the right environment to begin to germinate. It may appear that the seeds we have sown have remained dormant. Be patient. At the right time and at the right place with the right set of conditions, your seed will begin to multiply as it is meant to and it will bring forth bounteous harvest to the glory of God.

As we approach the end of the year and with the festive season in the offing, it is a great opportunity for us to consider how we can be used of God to be a blessing to many far and near. There is something God has placed in your hands, a seed, which you can sow into lives this season. I encourage you to prayerfully ask the Holy Spirit to guide, lead and show you how you can and what you can sow into the lives He will lead you to.

There is great joy and reward in being a blessing. It is an act of gratitude and obedience, a wonderful way to express our appreciation to God for His marvelous works in our lives.

You are blessed exceedingly beyond your imagination. Believe it, dear friend!

Connecting Lives Beyond Imagination

I heard the front door opened. I heard her call out from downstairs, “Where is she?” and the sound of her footsteps running up the staircase followed. I stood at the top of the staircase and waited for her to appear as she turned round the spiral. In a moment, I beheld her and then she was in my arms. We hugged (at last), we shouted, “Hallelujah!” and we hugged some more. It was a dream come true. That was Tuesday, November 11, 2013, and it had taken 2 years and 7 months of waiting with expectation. She is Bidemi Mark-Mordi, the Author of Sistapower and Publisher of Effectual Magazine.

Looking back today, I can testify that my first contact with Effectual Magazine in October, 2010 was divinely orchestrated. That was when a dear brother in church blessed me with an enveloped gift after the Sunday service. I opened the envelop and found in it a copy of Effectual, a Magazine for women and those who love them. It was of high quality both in content and presentation. The colors were vibrant and inviting. The message was richly inspiring. I was deeply impressed, specially noting that it was published in my dear country, Nigeria.

I shared the Readers’ Digest-styled magazine with my husband, since it is also for those who love women. He encouraged me to write to the editor and acknowledged the job well done. I promised to do so but that slipped through the cracks. Six months later, I had a very strong nudging in my spirit to keep the promise I made earlier. I searched for the magazine but could not find it. One day, while searching through a pile of books on my husband’s bedside table, the magazine fell out. That was on April 19, 2011. This time, I immediately went to my laptop and I sent an email to the Editor of the magazine. I wrote about my impressions of the magazine. More than that, I asked her if I could support them by distributing it in Geneva as I was sure that there would be many more women who would be blessed by it, and also that I would like to contribute to the magazine if possible.

She replied instantaneously and included her telephone number. Soon we were on the phone chatting as if we had known each other for ever. We simply clicked in the spirit. I later found out that my mail came at a time she was at her lowest point and unsure of the directions to which the magazine was heading. According to a well-respected Sister and Pastor, the message was timely. Though I thought I had sent it late, it got to Bidemi when she needed it the most. It was a divinely engineered connection.

I invited Bidemi to Geneva earlier in this year and during the planned visit, she was to launch her book, Sistapower and facilitate the Women Empowerment Seminar in my church on April 27. She came. She and her husband, Pastor Mark met my husband. They stayed in my house but I was not there. I was in the hospital, in the intensive care unit (ICU), in coma. She was not allowed to see me. By the time I woke up some weeks after, I found that she had come and gone. I missed the opportunity of meeting with her in person. But she left a message that she would be back in Geneva, and we will dance and give praise to God together.

That day came last week on Tuesday. For over two years, we talked for hours over the phone; we praised God and prayed together; we had times of crying and laughing over the phone, and we encouraged each other through difficult moments. But I got to know more about Bidemi, the fine details, during the week-long stay with me than I knew about her in the last two and half years.

Our relationship deepened. And it confirmed to me again that when we dwell in close proximity with those we are in relationship with and we give attention to one another, our relationship deepens and becomes richer. This has application for all our relationships especially in marriage. When couples spend time together and give undivided attention to each other, their relationship and intimacy deepens. Even more important is our fellowship with God. Enoch walked in habitual fellowship with God. They were such great friends that God just took Enoch to heaven with Him. God did not allow him to taste death (Gen. 5:24).

I watched her ministering during two separate gatherings of ladies. Each one was unique and different. As we learnt later, there were specific persons who needed to hear the message God led her to share at each event. For these ladies, it was the confirmation of what God had spoken to them.

As the visit drew to an end, I began to reflect again on how it all started and the impact this connection has had on me, Bidemi and on the lives of the many ladies, and men too, who have become connected and reached through our connection.

One man’s response to God’s leading to give me a gift of a magazine became like the branching of a lightning bolt reaching far beyond its starting point. The rippling effects of that singular act of kindness is still being felt up till today. Our families have become connected together. Bidemi and her husband are now linked with many more families here in Geneva. As Pastor Mark said, he could never have imagined this happening a few years ago. Through Bidemi, I have become connected to a network of Sistas pursuing God's purpose for their lives.

There are many more ripples of this relationship. Sistapower and Effectual are circulating in Geneva and beyond. Sistapower was translated into French by a young lady in my church and is ready for publication. Many ladies are being motivated to be relentless in the pursuit of their God-ordained purpose and to fulfill their dreams. Lives are being connected and touched for good. Windows of opportunities are being opened to many at personal and professional levels.

I am simply amazed and overwhelmed at what God can do with one act of kindness, one act of obedience and one man’s willingness to share. It has gone far beyond my or Bidemi’s wildest dream. A seemingly ordinary gift and become an extraordinary powerful connector of many lives.

Last night while preparing this blog post, and in search of a document, I came across the first draft of the article I wrote in July 2009. It was titled “Divine Connections.” Three years later, I was amazed when Bidemi told me the theme for the September issue of Effectual would be “Connections.” I told her I had an article related to the theme. That article was published in October 2012. I never knew at the time I wrote the article that God had prepared a place ready for it ahead of time. At the appointed time, He connected me with that opportunity.

I concluded that God is constantly speaking and His Holy Spirit is always nudging us. But, the question is, are we taking time to pay attention to Him and listen to His voice? When we do so, and we obey Him and follow His instructions, He will add the EXTRA to our ordinary and turn it into EXTRAORDINARY. He is able to connect us with the information and the helper already designated to facilitate the process of this transformation. Because He sees and knows the potentials of our ordinariness. I will share more on this in my next blog post.

Dear Friends, God is speaking to your heart today. Do pay attention to Him, dwell in His presence, listen actively to His voice and take steps to obey Him. He will surely lead you to your Promise Land – to the place of fulfillment where dreams come true.

Couples or Co-Tenants - Drifting Apart

Many thanks to all of you who emailed your responses to last week's blog. I appreciate your comments and will use them in the next couple of posts during this couple-focused month.

© Mack2happy | Dreamstime.com

Today is February 14^th, a day set aside to celebrate love.

Here is a must-not-miss opportunity to reach out and connect with your spouse in a unique, tangible and active way. An opportunity to put your spouse high on your agenda.

It is a SHOW AND TELL day. And perhaps, a springboard to a renewed and vibrant relationship.

Last week, I shared a short story (fiction) - Adrift, which I am sure many could relate with, and I asked you to comment on what was happening between the couple. I also asked for comments on how the couple can bridge the gulf.

I was prompted to share more about why couples drift apart. And this will be the subject of today's post.

It happened slowly and subtly. The crack lines running deep beneath the surface long before gulf opened wide.

It can happen to any couple irrespective of the length of their marriage. Below are some factors that can cause couples to drift apart.

Busyness:

Your busy schedule can choke intimacy out of your marriage.

When we enter into marriage, we focus attention on each other and that makes us very close. But as years goes on and responsibilities mounts up, our focus tends to turn more towards our jobs, children and a host of other things, and less towards ourselves. When focus is diverted by these day-to-day responsibilities and the marriage is left to languish, couples become disengaged from each other.

If one or both of you is regularly spending more time away from home, more time in the office, more time with other friends, you are likely to drift further apart.

Are you giving your spouse the leftover of your time and the dregs of your strength?

When one or both of you start coming home too tired to give meaningful attention to each other or you find it more interesting to do other things than to be with each other, then you are no longer engaging as an active couple.

Couples drift apart when they no longer have common goals or shared interests, when they begin to spend significant amount of their time and energy with others in shared experience separate from their spouse. This includes time spent with other people with whom you have common goals which can result in closeness with them, and other time- and energy-consuming  activities which excludes your spouse.

When the children and your busy life is all you and your spouse have in common, the marriage suffers. It is no longer exciting and interesting for both of you.

© K Avraham | Dreamstime.com

A marriage that is dry and patchy like an arid desert or stagnant and stale is not an exciting place to be. Busyness can become an excuse to escape from such a dry, stale, boring or tense marriage.

Negative and critical attitude:

We can loose sight of the things we once appreciated in each other. Gestures that used to touch our hearts begin to go unnoticed. We let a lot of time go by without telling each other how much we care about one another. This causes the marriage to become cold and stale to the extent that many are enduring, tolerating and coping with their marriage rather than enjoying and being fulfilled in it.

As we loose focus on our spouse and their needs, we become more vocal when we are irritated by our spouse’s habits and weaknesses. We criticize more rather than encourage each other. We don't  consider how our spouse is affected when we are negative and critical. I don't know anyone yet changed by a nagging spouse! This negative and critical attitude widens the gulf.

Together but separate:

Sharing the same space, even sleeping on the same bed, does not equate to being together.

Being physically together does not mean we are giving attention to each other if we are connected at the same time to the rest of world via texts, emails and social networks. When more time is spent hugging the screens, and we are virtually everywhere except with the physical people we are occupying space with, our marriage is bound to suffer.

Your spouse may be silently screaming for your undivided attention. Your spouse wants to be truly connected with you—spirit, soul and body— instead of sharing you with a host of other people.

Poor Communication:

When you feel your spouse is not listening to you, taking your opinion into consideration and validating you, it makes you feel uncared for and unloved—your opinion is not important enough to be given attention. When we don’t make the effort to find out what our spouse desires, and to respond to them, we become presumptuous about their needs. It gets worse when decisions about issues concerning your life as a couple are taken unilaterally without seeking each other's opinion.

Couples drift apart when they do not take time to talk and listen to each other. When we care about someone, we value them and we value their opinion.

Keeping secrets:

Couple drift apart when they keep secrets from each other. Withholding information that is relevant to the life and vitality of the relationship will create a gulf between you.

Vibrant and intimate relationship requires deep knowing. The depth of your relationship is influenced by how open you are to each other. The sum of what you keep from each other will determine or limit how deep your relationship can be.

Showing indifference:

If you are not concerned about what is happening to your spouse—good or bad, if what your spouse is doing makes no difference to you, and you are not showing interest in each other, then you are no longer engaging as a couple. You are indifferent and are drifting apart.

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Festering wounds:

A preacher once said that Christian couples are great actors. They can have issues boiling beneath the surface, come to church, be courteous to each other, smiling and exchanging pleasantries, without giving a clue of what is going on between them. 

When we are unhappy about something our spouse said or did, and we keep quiet about it,  we become sullen and withdrawn. We feel our spouse does not care about our feelings if he/she does not ask us why, and that can makes us resentful.

There are also times when we are not honest about our feelings even when we are asked. We simply respond; "I'm fine or I'm OK"  when we are not. Keeping quiet about something hurting us is like sweeping debris under the carpet. It festers and rots beneath the surface. It makes the relationship bumpy, and often leads to resentment.

So when we don't communicate openly about issues, we are merely saving it for a latter day, it does not go away, it stays between us, until we deal with it and in the right way. If we don't, the hurts pile up, we harbor negative feelings, and eventually we will start exploding over trivial matters. Little resentments when they build up can kill passion and intimacy in the marriage. And tear the couple apart.

Friends, today is a good day to reflect on why couples drift apart. I hope it will ginger you to renew your commitment to actively engage with your spouse and be determined to keep your relationship vibrant.

Happy Valentine's Day!

The Gift That Made A Difference

It was not my birthday.

It was not my wedding anniversary.

And it wasn’t Christmas.

Just a regular Sunday.

It came in an envelop. It was a gift from a friend. A magazine with a blazing caption - For Women and Those Who Love Them, called Effectual.

I was amazed at the quality of the content and presentation of the magazine. The theme of the edition I was given was Relentless Pursuit. I read it from cover to cover. I was encouraged, inspired with hope and challenged to pursue my dreams.

The style resonated with me. I was not satisfied with just reading it. I had to do more. I wanted to be associated with the work the team is doing.

One thoughtful act. One precious gift. It became a catalyst for a chain of events. Opened many windows of opportunities. Birthed new, rich and vibrant relationships.

I was overwhelmed and touched to the core as I read the current edition of Effectual Magazine - Open Brokenness this week. I was reminded of the act of giving that spurred all of these. The gift that made the difference.

I have been blessed with many precious gifts.

Gifts that

… left lasting impression

            … touched my life

                        … went over and above

                                    … were useful, timely and appropriate.

Some gifts came in wrappings but many more just simply could not be wrapped.

This is what giving should be all about - making things happen for others and touching lives for good.

Christmas is just around the corner and it is the time to share gifts with family and friends. As is the case with many at such a time like this, our minds are working overtime trying to figure out what gifts to give who.

It got me thinking. Our gift giving at this season should not be an act of routine, because it is expected of us to do so. It should be intentional and purposeful, with the desire to add value and make a difference to the life of the receiver. Our gifts should be thoughtfully and prayerfully selected.

We should desire to give gifts that will be useful to the receiver or will meet a need. This is where the help of the Holy Spirit becomes needful. I want to be guided by Him as I select what to give my family and friends this season. I want to give gifts which will have lasting impact.

There is another type of gift that is important to consider. That is the gift of quality time and attention we give to the significant people in our lives during this season. This gift makes a huge difference by deepening our fellowship with one another. It makes our relationship richer and more vibrant.

We must exercise caution so that we don’t get carried away with the busyness of the season - cooking, entertaining guests etc. to the extent that we become too exhausted to spend quality time as a family. This is an important reminder to me as well.

Beyond our regular list of persons to give gifts to, it is worthwhile to consider others especially those who can not give back to us - those for whom Christmas is bleak without the help of someone willing to spread the cheer of the season towards them. Let us remember what the season is truly about - goodwill toward men.

Let's take a moment to consider the channels available to us through which we can reach out to those in need and give them a gift of hope. There is a blessing in giving to others.

As we approach Christmas and the end of 2012, I look back and recount the many precious gifts I have been blessed with. The gifts, which have made a difference to my life, are truly beyond count. Above all these gifts, I am so grateful for the gift of life and breath.

For God so loved the world that He gave His beloved Son as a gift to us. The gift of Jesus is a proof of God's indescribable love for us. This is the greatest gift anyone can receive - the gift of life and salvation through Jesus Christ. Jesus so loved us, He gave up His glory and came into the world to live among men.

What can we give back for this most precious gift ever given or received?

I found the answer in Proverbs 23:26 - "My son, give me your heart…" Give your affections to God, love Him with all your heart, soul and strength.

In addition and as an act of gratitude for the most precious gift we could ever receive, let us make our gift giving this Christmas—heartfelt, meeting needs and touching lives for good—gifts that makes a difference.

I am grateful to God for each of you who visit this blog from 52 countries, the last time I checked. You are a blessing to me.  And your visit made a difference. Because you read and share the message from here, I am encouraged to keep doing what I have been called and gifted to do - to be an encourager.

May the joy of the Lord overflow in your hearts and home this Christmas and beyond.

The Effectual Magazine is available on Magcloud