Pause, Listen, Balance, And Stay Focused.

Once upon a time, my agenda was snow-white. The occasional specks of ink on my agenda were mainly activities relating to keeping me alive—hospital appointments, physiotherapy and home care. That is now history of past events. It is no longer breaking news that Irene’s plate is always fully loaded these days. Hence my absence from the blogosphere over the past three weeks.

The run-up to the Hit The Street For Their Feet Charity Walk on April 25^th was hectic. It left me breathless. I have not had time to catch my breath since then. All the donations coming from across three continents had to be acknowledged and receipted irrespective of the amount because each of them made a difference and added value taking us to our set goal. I am so grateful to God that I have much to acknowledge. The administrative part of the Charity is still ongoing.

It was in the midst of that that I realized that I had only thirty days (now seventeen) left to the wedding of the dear daughter of Zion who God used to support me during the year post my amputation. She cared for me and attended to my needs during those early days while I learnt to regain my autonomy and to get accustomed to my new definition of normal as an amputee. She has been a blessing to me. I had committed to help translate her dream to reality and time was fast running out. I was in overdrive now.

Alongside came the preparations for the Annual Conference, which took place in my church last weekend. While we were getting ready, I had to go for a surgery to correct what the doctors termed “a rare form of adhesion” which got my tracheotomy scar stuck to my trachea. It was a day surgery. I was back in my kitchen barely 3 hours after the surgery. But it was a restless and rather painful night afterward and has required a twice a week trip to the hospital to keep an eye on it.

In the midst of all these, my accountability partners and very concerned friends were keeping a tab on me. They wanted to know where I was, regarding my pending assignments—completion of my book and getting the Feet Of Grace website running to name a few. And the pressure mounted.

That was when I had to pause. I needed to take a deep breath. I was feeling overwhelmed and overcharged. I have a passionate aversion to idleness with a relentless drive for purpose, perfection and making a difference. It appears that this combination has pushed me to the other side of the spectrum.

The outlook for the next four months seems even more charged with several planned travels, ministry project and pending Ministry training assignments. It was the time for me to pause and listen.

I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens, empowers and infuses me with strength from His limitless stores. But I am not called to do everything.

Having a clear guidance and direction from God as to what He wants me to do, when, where and how He wants me to do the things He has called me to do has become an imperative. I must pause and listen. If I am not quiet, I cannot hear Him speaking to me. It is only when I am getting instructions from Him that I can balance all the many balls that I have to juggle in the air. It is only by His grace that I can do the things He has called me to do. I need to pause, listen and balance.

I know God also has a deep aversion to idleness. Several passages in the Bible points in that direction.

"And about the eleventh hour he went out and found others standing around; and he said to them, 'Why have you been standing here idle all day long?'” – Matthew 20:6

“"The one who is unwilling to work shall not eat." – 2Thess. 3:10

“You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you,” – 1Thess 4:11

I also know that God does not want me to burn out or run on my own steam, I cannot be useful to Him that way. Therefore, I must insert precious times of rest into the equation.

Several key points shone brightly like a lighthouse on a dark night as I processed all the above.  I will share some of them with you.

1.       I have to learn to say NO:

If I am going to stay focused on the goal and accomplish the tasks God laid on my heart for this year, I have to give myself the permission to say No. First to myself and then to others. A young man challenged me recently to master the art of No in an excellent article he posted on his blog - The Art of No. It is not just about saying No but how to manage a No response. What do I mean by saying no to myself? I mean I cannot do everything that comes to my mind even if it sounds great and will benefit someone.

2.        I need to prioritize:

Some tasks are important, but they are not urgent. Some things that God calls us to do are urgent and important because someone is waiting at the other side to receive of it. I cannot afford to be lackadaisical about the things that are important in God’s kingdom agenda. The fact that He has not issued a deadline the way my bosses at work would do does not mean that I can do my God-ordained assignments at my convenience.

3.       Ultimately, my accountability is to God:

God has called me to be a good steward of the resources He has assigned to me to manage. These include the talents, gifts and abilities with which He endowed me. As a steward of God’s resources, there will come a time I much give an account of what I have done with these resources. As well as how I have fared with the responsibilities and tasks He assigned to me. Doing His will and fulfilling His call upon my life requires my utmost attention and dedication.

God’s all-sufficient grace is available and richly abounding to each of us so that we having all sufficiency in all things and at all times may abound to every good work. I want to abound in good works. My earnest desire is to impact lives for good, make a difference and leave a lasting legacy. I must, therefore, run the race set before me tapping into the rich grace available to me and with my gaze focused on the ultimate goal.

Over the coming months, I will do my best to keep this space we share together to enrich and encourage one another active while I strive to maintain a balance in my responsibilities and commitments. There will be guest posts here, and I hope to see the blog relocate to the Feet Of Grace website as soon as it is up. In the interim, I ask you to uphold me in prayers; that I may have strength to do what I am called can do, courage to accept those that I cannot do and the wisdom to know the difference. Pray also that God will send me help fitted for this assignment.

I pray that each of you will flourish in the place where God has assigned you.

What do you do when you feel overwhelmed with so many things to do? Share and let's encourage one another.

Once Upon A Time Of Feet And Painted Toenails_Part 2

This is the concluding part of Once Upon A Time Of Feet And Painted Toenails.

“You have a right to be angry.”

“With whom?” I queried in my heart, staring blankly over the shoulders of the Psychiatrist and her assistant standing by my bedside.

The doctors have done the audit. Nobody could explain what went wrong. There was no negligence reported or indicated. So who was I supposed to be angry with? God? I mused, still not saying a word.

“It is important to express your emotions. You can grieve about this. Talk to us.”

“I don’t have anything to say.” I looked straight at her and smiled. “I have asked all the questions I can ask the doctors about this.”

“What is the point of talking with you? What can you do for me? What comfort can you offer me?”

“I'm Ok. I am taking one day at a time.” I told her. They went on about my need to talk. They thought I was in denial. I even found out that they put me on a low dose of anti-depressant. They thought because I wasn’t talking to them I was depressed and not dealing with the issue. They asked the nurse who had known me the longest during my ten years of frequent sojourn on that ward to come and talk to me.

She tried. And I could see that she was visibly upset that I was not opening up to her. So I said to her, “J'ai décidé depuis longtemps que je ne jamais renouncer l’espoir. Mon espoir est à mon Dieu.” I made up my mind a long time ago that I will never give up on hope, and I was not going to start now. It was on that note that she left me alone.

I repeated the same to the Psychiatrist when she came back to see me, and begged her to stop the medication. I told her I did not need it. Hope is my anti-depressant. This was strictly between me and God. The doctors can’t answer the questions running all over my head. But God surely understands where I am coming from when I cry out to Him in the dead of the night when there was not one near to hear my cry.

I finally got myself to hold my stumps. I cradled them in my hands. I looked at what is left of my legs. Tears laced my eyes. I blinked them away. I will not cry, I told myself. Nothing prepares you for this. Not once in my almost 47 years before that day, did I ever imagine I could be at this phase of life as an amputee. It is at such times that you know you have to make an active and deliberate decision to tap into the grace of God that is readily available and sufficient sustain you.

Graham Kendrick's song, To You, O Lord I lift up my soul, from Psalm 25 floated back into my spirit. The lyrics ministered to me. 

No one whose hope is You will ever be put to shame.

That’s why my eyes are on You O Lord

Surround me, defend me

O how I need You

To You O Lord I lift up my soul

My hope is in God. I cannot be put to shame because God will defend me and surround me with His love and mercy. I will not be ashamed of my body. If I am not ashamed of me, then nobody can make me feel ashamed of my body. I will not play the victim. I will not, by the grace of God, be a subject of pity. If I keep my head and my spirit high, no one will be able to pity me or my situation.

The psychotherapist working with amputees came and sat with me several afternoons. She had tried to talk to me before the amputation. I was not ready to listen to what she had to say. And I refused to read the information materials. She was resilient. She did not push me to talk. She just wanted me to know that I have to deal with the change in my body image.

Let me note here, if you are ever with someone who has lost a limb, please don’t ever tell the person that there are many people living with missing limbs and doing great. “Why do I have to be one of them?” was my reaction. That is not what an amputee wants to hear, certainly not in the beginning when the person has to adjust emotionally to a body with conspicuously missing parts.

This lady waited until I was ready to talk about the change in my body. Then she supported me and my family to get all the information we needed to cope with our new definition of normal. Then, they arranged for us to watch a video of people living with amputation. We watched it as a family there in the hospital. We were able to ask more questions. It helped us a family to do this together.

But none of these prepared me for the day, I was going to have my first fitting with the prosthetic limbs. I sat on my wheelchair in the open waiting room. It was summer. Every single lady who walked past me on the corridor was wearing dainty slippers showing off their beautifully manicured toenails. It felt like an orchestrated parade to taunt me. I felt as if the enemy was flashing in my face what I had lost and would not be able to do again. Pain and grief welled up from within me. My slippers at home flashed before my sight.

Tears laced my eyes again. I blinked them off. I will not cry here. No, I will not!

A few days earlier, I had struggled with my emotions as the physiotherapist told me that my new feet were to be customized to a fixed angle which will allow me to wear only shoes only 2-3cm high. They strongly recommended sneakers for security as it would clad the entire foot and help me to maintain my balance.

“What? Only one type of shoes every day?” I screamed at them. “That is not possible. I can’t wear sneakers seven days of the week!” They explained to me why I needed to wear shoes with sturdy and broad heels.

“It is for your safety. You have to maintain your balance. You must not fall.”

I am a Yoruba woman. Who wears sneakers with wrappers and long skirts? What was I going to do with all my shoes? I simply refused to accept sneakers as an option. They refused to accept my low-heeled pumps because they were not completely covered, and my feet could slip out of them. Finally, they agreed to the pair of shoes I used on field trips and visits to communities when I was working with UNICEF. They were completely covered with a zipper but 4cm high. They customized my feet for this shoes. This was my only pair of shoes for months. Much later, we went to shops with measuring tape until my husband found me broad-heeled shoes with the same height and a bit dressier.

I shared in Make The Next Move Forward  what it was like the first day I tried on my prosthetic limbs.

I knew I had to let go of my shoes. It would be a torture to keep them. Why keep them and moan over them if they can be a blessing to others? So when I got back home from the hospital, I brought all my shoes out. I had a farewell party with them. I gave thanks to God for the joy of having them and asked God to make them a blessing to all those who would wear them for me. We bagged the shoes, many of them with their bags, and with joy and peace in my heart, I released them to go to my friends. I pleaded with a number of them to wear them for me. But I could not let go of my oldest pair of shoes—my first set of purple shoes. That remains a memento of the days of passion for shoes.

I went in search of photographs of my legs, only to find that most of the time, my legs were covered in long skirts, trousers and wrappers. Those in which I was wearing short skirts were not showing my legs or painted toenails. Who goes out of their way to take photographs of their legs and painted toenails? Then, I found the photograph taken at my first son’s high school graduation. It turned out to be the best picture of my old legs. It was a gift from God. He knew I needed to see those legs again in their former glory. The last time I saw them as such was when I stood up and changed into the theatre gown before my lungs transplantation. It was also the last time I stood on them.

I perused every detail of my legs. But rather than be sorrowful, my heart lifted with joy. I bless God for every single step I took with those legs. I blessed Him for all the opportunities He gave me to go places with them. I thank God for the time I had with them. They have fulfilled their assignment and have gone home ahead of me. The season of painted toenails and dainty slippers was over. It was great fun while it lasted. Like a dear sister wrote to me, there await me a glorious pair of legs when I get to heaven.

For the rest of my stay here on earth, God has provided me with the Feet of Grace that will take me to places beyond my imagination and to where my natural feet could not have taken me, just as He promised. He has given me the tools I need to fulfil my assignment and the purpose for which He called me. So I wear my Feet of Grace with grace and head lifted high to the glory of God.

Feet of Grace 2015 Charity Walk_Hit The Street For Their Feet:

Join me / Support me to walk 5km to raise funds for amputees that they may walk again.

The Unchanging Constant In Constant Change

A cold breeze drifted across my face and neck. My hands swung up instinctively to protect my chest. My neck was bare in my purple jersey blouse.  I looked back and longed for the warmth of the Pharmacy I just came out off. The scarves on the display rack by the door beckon to me. The image of scarves in my wardrobe flashed across my mind. “Not a chance,” I muttered under my breath. I looked up the road to see if the bus was round the corner, it was not. I still have five more minutes to wait. So I fastened the top buttons of my jacket, dipped my hands into the pocket and began to pace the front of the Pharmacy.

The Bus came and I climbed into its warm interior. It was the second time that I came out by myself and was riding the bus back home. A feat I could not have dared in the previous eight years. I remembered that warm sunny September afternoon when I rode the bus for the first time after eight year. The joy exuding from my heart was beyond description. A change had taken place in my life and it was a change for good.

Change is taking place around me. By the time I got out of the bus at my stop, the cloud had passed and the sun was out in the white sky. Dry leaves rustle under my “Feet of Grace” as I walked home until I got to the forest. The sun was shut out under the dense canopy of evergreen trees. It was dark and chilly again. The leaves laid dead and rotting along the path still wet from the rain of the previous day. Home was in sight when I emerged into the brightness of the sunlight on the other side. I marvelled at the changes along the path home.

Take the chilly winds. Give me cool blue sky. Take the heat. Give the gentle breeze softly caressing my cheeks. Take the layers-of-onion dressing. Give me the light cotton blown in the wind. The season is changing. Like it or not, I must embrace the change.

Cold chill lured me to snuggle deeper in bed under the warm duvet. I dared not. My list of things-to-do was as long as my arm. I smiled.

You are faithful in every way, O Lord, You are faithful in every way.

I was awed as I recalled that time my agenda was snow-white and I had no-where I needed to be. When I spent the day sitting on my hands and staring out of the window. A change has occurred. My heart gave praise to the unchanging God.

Change is a constant in our lives. God always speak and come through for us in the time of change. We go through different kinds of change at different times in our lives. Change occurs in us, within us and outside of us. Seasons change. Conditions change. Circumstances change. There are changes we welcome and rejoice in. There are changes that causes our hearts to grieve. Change is the constant that we cannot run away from. In the midst of change, there is a constant that we can run to and hold on to. He declared; "I am the Lord, I do not change" (Mal. 3:6).

“God is in the change but He does not change. It is important to know what is not changing when life changes” – Pastor Walter Thomas.

I see God in the splendour of autumn. Beyond my bedroom window, confetti of dry leaves painted yellow, brown and russet floating down to the ground at the command of the wind speaks to me as I gaze on their mesmerizing hues. They announce the change coming upon the trees set aglow by the golden beams when the sun set.

I opened my wardrobe doors, the yellow post-it squares pasted on the inner side of the doors caught my attention. I pasted them at my eye level on the wardrobe doors, my bathroom mirror and on my bed post several years ago. They were to remind me to keep my gaze focussed on the unchanging faithfulness of God in keeping His word in all the seasons of my life. Aged and faded, some hanging bowed like yellow autumn leaves outside my bedroom window, the message they bear remained unchanging and constant—the truth of God’s infallible promises.

The time I spent standing by the wardrobe, reading and meditating on the promises of God with tears in my eyes flashed before my eyes and a song of praise sprung up in my heart.

Mighty God Faithful God oh oh oh
From age to age You're still the same
You never change, You never fail, You never let me down
Take all the glory, take all the honour
I bring to You

I lift my voice to You, Awesome God

I lift my voice to You, Awesome God,

Awesome God, Awesome God.

 (Frank Edwards)

I continued my contemplation of God’s constancy as I lingered in the shower. The rivulets of warm freshness streamed down my body, cascading into a fall beyond my stumps. Then I remembered the many days of bed-bath in the hospital, when I longed so much for a shower until tears trickled down the sides of my face into my ears. I recalled the day my nurse asked me, “Madame Irene, voulez-vous prendre une douche a la salle-de-bain, aujourd’hui?”

“Do I want a shower?” I squealed. My heart leaped for joy.

“Yes! Yes!! Of course, with all pleasure. Merci, merci beaucoup.”

My nurse wheeled me into the high-walled plastic tub, latched its door behind me and released the shower. Warm water gushed out, I was filled with joy like a child dancing in the rain. I cupped the water in my hands and poured it on my face. Never had a shower felt as good as it was that day.

My heart ignited with praise as I pondered on the goodness of God and the amazing changes which have taken place in my life since then. God exalted my horn and lifted me from the dark valley of the shadow of death. He broke off the confinement of afflictions.

I drew back the shower curtains, my bathroom was engulfed with steam and the mirror covered with mist. Through all the seasons of my life, God has remained the same—steadfast, sure and faithful. When the gusty winds of storms whirled around me, He remained constant—a solid rock upon which my hope was anchored. As soon as I finished drying myself, I grabbed my camouflage-green notebook and began to scribble this offering of praise, until the mist cleared and the mirror reflected the image of my face glowing with gladness.

O God, my help in ages past. My hope for years to come.

My shelter in the stormy blast. And my eternal home.

(Paraphrased from the Methodist Hymn Book.)

This, indeed, will be my song of testimony as 2014 fades away in eight weeks’ time and we usher 2015 in. As I reviewed the year passing, I was assured again of the constancy of God’s faithfulness in all our changing circumstances and seasons.

Dear Friends, as you to look back into 2014 and recall God’s abundant goodness in your life, I encourage you to bring an offering of praise to Him. As you look back, perhaps all you see are the undesired changes that have occurred in your life and the dreams yet to be fulfilled, yet I know you can attest to one thing that has remained constant and unchanging—God’s unfading and enduring love for you. For this and more, God deserves your sacrifice of praise.

God loves you in every season

Yet His love is not seasonal

He loves you in every circumstance

Yet His love is not circumstantial

He loves you in every condition

Yet His love is not conditional

(Roy Lessin, meetmeinthemeadows.com)

Acknowledgement:
Celestine Nudanu’s Haiku Poems: Carpet of Blessings and Autumn posted on Reading Pleasure inspired some of the imagery in this post.

Be Prepared

At the close of 2013, I found myself reviewing previous posts on this blog and in the process discovered that I wrote two blog posts with exactly the same title: "And It Came To Pass." The first was on the 6th of December, 2012 and the second a year later, on the 20th of December, 2013. 

Reading these post over again gave me great assurance and confidence that God is a covenant keeping and promise fulfilling God. And I can rest secured in His unfailing love in 2014.

As we begin 2014, I am pregnant with hope and full of great expectations for the year. It is a year of accomplishing and celebrating many key milestones within my nuclear and extended family: 10th and 21st wedding anniversaries, 20th, 50th, 70th and 75th birthdays. It is a year of seeing the manifestation of answers to prayers. And of the fulfillment of dreams and desires.

We have great expectations and outlook for 2014, being persuaded as a family that we will celebrate growth, expansion, promotions and see the Lord expand our coast beyond our wildest imagination. We receive from God the grace to do great exploits for Him and for the Kingdom this year. And we will enter into the doors of opportunities He will open to us.

Physically, at this point in time, we are at the position where like Mary, we can only say "How can this be since ….?" (Luke 1:34). Like Abraham, we also say, "Lord God, by what shall I know that I shall inherit it?” (Gen 15:8). And like Zechariah, the question is “How can I be sure of this?” (Luke 1:18). How shall it possibly come to pass, all these dreams, visions and heart desires? By what shall we know that we shall accomplish these great things? Humanly speaking, it is mind-boggling just to consider the enormity of God’s promises to us and our dreams and desires.

Our hope and assurance is anchored on the unfailing promises of God. It premised on the experience we have in seeing God fulfill His Word in our lives. If we go by all He did for us in 2013, we have very strong reasons to rest and rely on Him to accomplish all He promises for us in 2014 and all our righteous desires anchored on His promises.

We know for a truth and by experience that God is a covenant keeping God. He will not go back on His Word. He will not renege on His promises. Faithful is He Who has promised, at the appointed time, He will do just what He said He will do. This is a non-negotiable and solid truth that we can go to bank with!

Given this hope and assurance, we can begin to prepare to possess our possessions as we step into 2014. Right from day one, we prepare like an expectant mother for the birth of what we have conceived by faith in God.

What are we preparing for and how?

Be prepared to depend on God’s strength and grace:

It is by the grace and enablement of God that we will be able to do great exploits in 2014 because the race is not to the swift.

"I have observed something else under the sun. The fastest runner doesn't always win the race, and the strongest warrior doesn't always win the battle. The wise sometimes go hungry, and the skillful are not necessarily wealthy. And those who are educated don't always lead successful lives. It is all decided by chance, by being in the right place at the right time" - Eccles 9:11 (NLT).

It is not by power or by might. But it shall be by the abounding grace of God so that He only can take all the glory. We cannot depend on our own strength or skills or hard work but trust and depend on the grace and strength of God. For it is the Lord Who gives us the ability to make wealth and to be successful. He does this so that He may accomplish the covenant which He swore to our fathers of old (Deut. 8:18). It is by the wisdom He gives that we will do the extraordinary. We must with all our might use all the opportunities God provides for us.

Be prepared to do your part:

"Make this valley full of ditches...."(2Kings 3:16), that’s what Elisha said to Jehoshaphat and the two Kings with him. They needed water and victory in the battle they were about to embark on against the King of Moab. To try their faith and obedience, Elisha commanded them to make the valley full of pits to receive water. You have an action to take in anticipation of God’s intervention—prepare to receive the miracle. So they dug the ditches. We have a part to play for us to see the accomplishment of God's promise in our lives. This requires that we listen attentively to God and follow His leading and instruction. We are not to sit idle with our hands crossed across our chests. Those who expect God's blessings, must dig pools for the rain to fill. Not only did they receive the water through God’s intervention, the same valley flowing with water was used to bring them victory over the Moabities.

During our family Bible Study time recently, we shared many examples of such obedient following of God’s instructions in preparation to receive the victory, deliverance and provision God has promised. The felling of the walls of Jericho and the provision for the dead Prophet’s wife and children are some of these examples.

Dear Friends, whatever you are trusting and looking up to God for in 2014, it is a light thing for God to do. So be prepared to receive them. Be prepared to walk in the fullness of God’s purpose and counsel for your lives. I know from my experience of God and from the Bible that if God has given you His Word, the sequel to the story of your life can only be: "and it came to pass."

I will continue this blog post next week, so watch out for Part 2.

I pray that God will bless you with abounding grace to do great exploits for His Kingdom in 2014.

Happy New Year to you and your family.

I Got To Know Him In A Better Way

Grace on the move.

Grace in motion.

Engraced.

These are the new "names" given to me by my husband, my brothers, and a dear Sista. I hope my niece, Gracie, would not mind me sharing her name.

Any of them could have been the title for today's blog post. But I chose "I Got To Know Him In A Better Way." Inspired by Donnie McClurkin's song: "Who Would Have Thought," after I read some of the comments I received by email in response to my last blog post. The only response I can give is that I got to know God in a better way through the things I suffered—through my trials, challenges and difficult circumstances.

 

HUG Intensive Care Unit - By My Bed 

Abounding Grace:

I got to know His rich and abounding grace. His grace strengthened me. Grace kept me through the thick and the thin. Grace sustained me. I could have been dead and gone but grace kept me alive, and made me a living testimony. Grace kept me smiling and cheerful through pain and distress. Grace held my head up when the natural reaction would have been to stay bowed down in sorrow and disappointment.

Amazing grace kept abounding to me. Praise be to God Who causes ALL grace to abound to us, that we having ALL sufficiency in ALL things, may abound unto every good work (2Cor. 9:8). Grace is God stooping down to reach out to us at our point of need. He is the God of all grace. After we have suffered for a little while, He will Himself restore us, making us strong, steadfast and firm (1Pet. 5:10).

The grace of God within us enables us to labour more efficiently and abundantly for God. Grace fulfils a purpose in us and it enables us fulfil purpose and destiny. The ALL sufficient grace of God is available to everyone who is a Christian.

"The grace of God is the favour of God bestowed to man who does not deserve this favour" - Harold L. White

As grace abounded in Christ and He went about doing good works, so also can the superabundant grace of God abound in our lives to do exploits for God and to bring about change in our situation, if we open our hearts to receive it even in our challenging circumstances.

You can only appreciate the import of grace when you are in dire need of the supernatural ability to live above your circumstances and the challenges besetting you. This brings me to the crux of today's message.

"Grace abounds like an ever flowing stream in the valley of adversity"

Enduring Hardships:

Hardships, trials and challenges will come to us at one time or the other in the course of our lifetime, if we are true sons of God. We must view them as God disciplining, correcting, pruning and refining us because of His love for us. We must need be assured that His grace is available to us to see us through them all.

Divine disciple is an evidence of divine love.

The Bible is replete with examples of many servants of God who endured hardships and we can see the outcomes of it as they were made strong to do exploits for God. Jesus endured the cross. Consider for a moment what He had to endure - the shame of the cross, separation from His Father, bitter hostility, grievous opposition from sinners and His visage was marred beyond recognition (Is. 52:14).

In considering what Jesus endured by going to the cross to die for our sins, we will not loose heart or grow weary as we run our own race and walk the path set before us.  

Some of Paul's letters to the churches were written while he was in the prison. He bore a thorn in his flesh, he was never married, he was imprisoned, placed under house arrest, shipwrecked and finally martyred under Nero's reign. But he wrote 13 Epistles which are still giving us divine direction till today.

Many of the hymns and songs we love to sing were composed following challenging circumstances in the lives of the composers:

• "It Is Well With My Soul" was penned by Horatio Spafford after traumatic events in his life. The 1871 Great Chicago Fire ruined him financially. In 1873, he sent his wife and four daughters to England ahead of him. While crossing the Atlantic, their ship sank after collision with another vessel. All the four daughters died. His wife was saved alone. The hymn was inspired as Horatio passed the spot where the ship sank and his daughters were killed (Wikipedia).
• This song is still touching lives and grieving hearts till today, more than a century later. Who would have thought? Please take time to meditate on the lyrics at this link, http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/i/t/i/itiswell.htm. These lines stood out for me:
• "Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come, Let this blest assurance control, That Christ has regarded my helpless estate, And hath shed His own blood for my soul."
• "Whatever my lot (my challenges or difficult circumstances), Thou has taught me to say; it is well, it is well, with my soul" (emphasis mine).
• "His Eye Is On The Sparrows" - This song was composed following the visit of Civilla Martin and her husband to Mr and Mrs Doolittle in 1905. Mrs Doolittle had been bedridden for near 20 years. Mr Doolittle was an incurable cripple who propel himself on the wheelchair in order to conduct his business. Despite their afflictions, they lived happy Christian lives, bringing inspiration and comfort to all who knew them. When the couple were asked the secret of their bright hopefulness, Mrs Doolittle's reply was simple: "His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches over me." The beauty of this simple expression of boundless faith inspired this much loved hymn (Wikipedia).
• Why should I be discouraged…. When Jesus is my portion? My constant friend is He.
• Andrea Crouch sang "Through It All." In this song you will find such lines like
• I have had many tears and sorrows
• But in every situation, God gave a blessed consolation, that my trials came only to make me strong.
• Through it all I've learnt to trust in Jesus, to trust in God, to depend on His Word
• He surely got to know God in a better way because in his lonely hours  Jesus let him know that he belongs to Him.
• He lost his father, mother and older brother in the space of one year in 1993 / 94 (Wikipedia). He certainly had his share of sorrow and challenges.
• See full lyrics at http://www.elyrics.net/read/a/andrae-crouch-lyrics/through-it-all-lyrics.html

We become more creative in our times of personal challenges and difficulties if we will open our hearts to receive God's abounding grace available to us.

Hopital Beau-Sejour Garden

I also can testify that through it all I have got to know God in a better way, to trust in Jesus, and depend on His Word and His sustaining grace. After 118 days in three hospitals, I certainly know more of God than I did before that one phone call on April 13^th. I have a richer experience of God as a strong deliverer because of all I went through during this period. I know for sure that Jesus cares for me. I have been pruned and refined, and the process is still ongoing. My testimony is richer. I know what it means to be sustained by grace.

There is so much more I want to write about enduring hardships and the abounding grace available to see us through them. This space is just not enough to do justice to the subject. I do encourage you to study Heb 12. Verse 15 says no one is to miss the grace of God. This grace of God changes lives.

"…Don’t be conscious of (or focus on) what you are lacking (or in need of). Be conscious of (or focused on) God's superabundant grace for you and avail yourself of it" - JosephPrince.com (emphasis mine)

I am grace in motion.

I am grace on the move.

I am graced for good works and to do exploits for God.

As I prepare to return back home on Friday, August 9^th, I know that grace brought me this far and grace will lead me on. I am in awe of God. He is been good to me. Words fail me to express my gratitude to Him.

Thank you all for standing with us through out this period of our lives. Thank you for your prayers, encouragement and support. My husband, sons and I give thanks and praise to God for blessing our lives with such a great family and circle of friends.

I share with you my special song for thanksgiving - Living Testimony. 

Get the Picture

"That is the picture of what it would look like when the construction is finished."

My husband commented as we drove  past a huge billboard with a picture of the conference centre under construction at the intersection after Nations  in Geneva.

The billboard announced to us and all passing by, what a magnificent edifice the building  would be when the work is finished.

At the moment, the project has no semblance whatsoever with picture—it is all cranes, scaffolding and concrete. But the picture tells us what the builder is working towards.

We've got the picture of the finished product.

I see another picture — yes, a picture of me…

… leaping with hands lifted high and spread towards the heavens—full of life, full of strength and freed from all encumbrances …

… in a track suit and sneakers jogging along the road by the lake in the cool of the evening with gentle breeze caressing my face …

I see a picture of me…

…travelling far and near, sharing my story before a congregation and inspiring hope in those faced with challenging situations…

I got this picture in front of me, framed in gold and fixed on the board of God's promises for me.

It will cause many to be filled with wonder and amazement, absolutely astounded, asking, is this not the same person…? (Act 3:10)

And everyone who see me shall be amazed—filled with awe and they shall give praise to God, glorifying Him Who has done this thing in my life (Luke 5: 17-29). Declaring that they have seen a remarkable thing.

They saw it. It was visible. It was made manifest.

So shall it be—the picture of me.

God has a picture of me inscribed (engraved) on the palms of His hands. I am always in His sight and kept in His remembrance. He has a picture in His mind when He made me. He is working out His purpose in me everyday to shape me, like gold being crafted by the goldsmith, until I am conformed to that image.

I can begin the jubilation now and celebrate in anticipation, indeed great is my expectation because faithful is He Who has promised. He will not fail.

Faith is seeing the finished product while it is still on the production line.

God's Word pronounced concerning me has the divine power to restore life, strength and health to me, just as it did to that 12 year old girl in Mark 5:42, and she got up and began to walk around. They who saw her were completely astonished and totally amazed.

Being so fully persuaded of the fulfilment of God's promises in my life, I am devoting this month to celebrating the victory God has wrought on my behalf and on behalf of my family - immediate and extended. The victory and deliverance purchased for us through the Blood of Jesus.

To begin the season of jubilations, I was ecstatic with joy on Monday—

Served with a delightful cake

of the finest sort

not made by hands

ingredients—choice selections

from scores so dear

far and near.

My cake —

baked with love,

layered with much prayers

covered with fondant of good wishes.

Never a cake

so richly composed

of divine promises

skilfully crafted around the edges

an exquisite lacy design and garlands

each holding a message of hope and love

Light as air, laden with favour

its velvety softness caressed

the roof of my mouth

dissolving into a burst of flavours

on my tongue, as I savour

its sumptuous richness.

A resounding shout

of praise

and Amen,

burst from my heart

like water from broken dam

I am truly loved

I was totally overwhelmed last Monday with the record-breaking phone calls and messages from scores of families and friends. Indeed, my heart rejoices in the God of my salvation. I appreciate you all. God bless you richly.

Got the picture?

Can you see the picture of what you would be like when this period of trials, testing, afflictions and challenges is over?

Can you see the picture God has in mind for you based the promises He has pronounced concerning you?

Now is the time to get the picture!

Each time we look at the picture, it is reinforced in our minds, a reminder of what is coming soon.

Get that picture and keep it in view.

UPDATE - JUNE 2ND, 2016
My heart overflows with praise and resounding joy reading this blog post over again today. It is more than three years ago since I wrote this post, I can testify that it came to pass even better than I pictured it.
- I am healed and restored. I am living a full and vibrant life without any encumbrances
- I am traveling far and near sharing the testimony of God's faithfulness and amazing grace.
- I recently walked 6.93km as part of a Charity Walk to raise funds for amputees living in poor communities.
And I am doing much more. Simply because of the amazing love and faithfulness of God to keep His promises. Rejoice with me.

He Will Not Disappoint

"He will not disappoint you. It is not in His character to disappoint.

He will keep faith with you…."

This was a message from our family friend to me in response to my blog post - Cartwheels of Joy. He did not know the circumstances under which I wrote that article but the message was apposite. It was timely too.

It got me thinking. Do I know God for Who He really is? If yes, then I will know that

there are some things that God will simply NOT do.

It is not in His character neither is it an attribute of God to disappoint.

• He will not fail.
• He will not forsake or abandon.
• He will not let me fall.
• He will not let me down.
• He will not leave me alone.
• He will not lie.
• He will not go back on His promises. 

What does it mean to disappoint?

It means to fail to fulfil or satisfy the hopes, desires and expectations of someone.

- To prevent  hopes and expectations from being realized.

- To thwart or frustrate. To let down, forsake or abandon.

Disappointment is what the weary traveller in a sandy desert feels when he finds that the beautiful lake he saw from afar, for which he sought earnestly, is just an illusion—a mirage.

Disappointment is like a stream that runs dry at summer time or a spring that fails when most needed—hope is dashed, expectation is cut off and dreams are thwarted.

Well meaning friends and even close family members can disappoint us. Life can disappoint us when it is filled with challenges, trials and sorrow. We also in all our best intentions can disappoint others. People and circumstance can disappoint.

For 21 days, I was in the hospital fighting an infection with every possible intervention—an intense course of treatment and therapy. It was a rigorous schedule. At the end of it, we did not get the resolution we desired and waited expectantly for. I was disappointed.

For 21 days, we tried to unravel a knotty issue. One investigation after another, from one specialist unit to another. Some quite distressing. At the end of it, we did not get the clear answer we wanted. We still have to wait some more for the information needed to define the next steps. I was disappointed.

For a moment I wondered, how much more of this—

How much more can one person take?

Disappointment can lead to despair if hope is not anchored on a Solid Rock.

But we know from the Bible that God satisfies the longing soul (Ps 107:9). He fulfils the desires of those who fear Him (Ps145:19). There is surely a hope for us and our expectation shall not be cut off (Prov. 23:18).

And Romans 5:5 tells us that we have a hope that does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by His Holy Spirit whom He has given us.

"This hope will not lead to disappointment, for we know how dearly God loves us, because He has given us His Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with love" - NLT

It thrilled my heart and filled me with joy to have this understanding of the character of my God and Father upon Whom my hope is anchored.

If I focus on the disappointment, I would loose sight of the many blessings and mercies God poured on me during the past 3 weeks and His miraculous interventions on my behalf.

I am amazed at the grace God has given unto me.

I am overwhelmed at the peace with which He held my heart against every agitating fear even when the storm was fiercest.

I am stunned at the joy He filled my heart with which caused me to sing aloud almost everyday in my hospital room to the amazement of the hospital staff and neighbouring patients.

In spite of all that was going on around me, God made me an amazement to all with the stability with which He anchored my heart. He strengthened my heart. He gave me the strength to endure. Ps 27:14 says, "Wait on the Lord, He will strengthen your heart…" I can testify that He did just that for me.

We can go through trials, afflictions and difficult times with strength that is not our own, because we have the spirit of God inside of us and God in us is strengthening us.

The Christian hope is such that will be fulfilled. It will not disappoint. We are sustained in our trials and afflictions by the consciousness of the super abundant love of God poured out into our hearts under the influence of the Holy Spirit. Our hope is founded on the goodness and truth of God, therefore our expectation can not be cut off.

Like Job, we will not understand the whole picture or the plans God has for us but we know that he was able to maintain an eternal perspective. He maintained his integrity and faithfulness to God in spite of his great afflictions. He expressed an absolute confidence that God will vindicate him and he was not disappointed in this hope.

I can then ask myself this question:

Am I able to separate the physical reality of my life from the spiritual reality of my relationship with God?

To the extent that I can say with unswerving confidence that no matter what comes my way, my life is in God's hands and come what may happen to me physically, I know that God will not disappoint me.

I know God will not leave us alone in our struggles. I know He will always be with us in the difficulties and disappointments of life. In Christ, the battle is won and we have the victory.

As I focus on this attribute and character of God, I can call my soul to be still and know that He is God Who will not disappoint.

When the oceans rise and thunders roar

I will soar with You above the storm

Father, You are King above the flood

I will be still and know You are God.

(Still by Hillsong)

I can then joyfully sing:

With this breath You have given me

I will praise Your Holy name

As long as I have this breath

I will sing of Your love

I will sing of Your faithfulness

As long as I have this breath

I will sing Your praise

And when this breath is gone

I will join the saints in glory

To sing Your praise

Forever and ever more.

©Irene Olumese

I encourage you, dear friend, to rest on this infallible character of God.