Recalibrating In The Season Of Change

I did the catwalk along the aisle between the shelves of shoes without my walking stick in front of the mirror.  With arms spread out, I turned around, paused to rock on my heels, and walked back towards my SistaFriend.

“What are you doing?”

“I am recalibrating,” I answered with a smile.

I wasn't doing the recalibrating myself. It was the hydraulic system in the heel of my prosthetic feet—the Feet of Grace—adjusting the equilibrium to ensure that I maintain balance and stability because of the changes in the height of the heel of the shoes.

The hydraulic system allows me the flexibility of 2cm in the extension of the ankle to ensure that I don't lose balance and fall when there is a change in my height of my heel. This allows me wear shoes with heels 3-5cm high.

It was the last day of the four-day orientation for the parents of the new students admitted to the College. It had been four days of intense activities and information sharing. College administrators were preparing the parents for the change that was about to take place in the dynamics of our relationship with our children who are now Frosh (Freshmen) in the University.

They emphasized the limits of our access to significant information concerning our children’s education and health under the Privacy Protection Act. According to the laws of the land, we could no longer have access to this information once the children turn 18 years old.

Our children are now adults who would be making significant decisions by themselves. Our roles as parents are about to go through a change and take a new dimension. Yes, they are no longer children. They are young adults facing a new life of freedom and independence in the University. They, also, are in a season of change. And we, as parents, have to trust that we have trained them up in a way that will guide them to recalibrate aright.

They asked us to say our goodbyes and leave “our students” in their care, assuring us that they have systems in place to ensure none of them falls off the radar or through the cracks.

I came to California to support my second son as he made his transition to the University. So I said my preliminary goodbyes that afternoon with the intention of seeing him one more time before departing California on my way back home to Switzerland.

My second and last child has spread his wings and flown off the nest. I knew without a doubt a new season of change is upon me.

With change comes the need to recalibrate—adjust to the new definition of normal.

My SistaFriend understood what it feels to walk away leaving your once-a-child behind and face a season of change that comes with it. She was waiting for me with an agenda. First, she deposited me in the salon for a manicure. Next on the agenda was the trip to the shoe warehouse. Needless to say, we didn't talk much about our adult children as we scoured the aisles for shoes that met my specifications.

I used to collect shoes. I shared that story in Once Upon A Time Of Feet And Painted Toenails. With the amputation of my legs came a season of change. I had to give away my high-heeled shoes and started looking broad-heeled shoes for the Feet Of Grace. I learnt to adjust to these new parameters that now guide my shoes selection.

Change comes to us in different ways at different times and phases of our lives. In the season of change, we are required to make adjustments to maintain stability and equilibrium.

My season of change:

I am familiar with change. I have been through several seasons of change. But change is taking place again in different spheres of my life. I said goodbye to my son on Sunday evening. He walked away hurriedly without looking back for the next program on his orientation agenda. He was excited about his new college life. I drove away knowing my role as a nurturer had ended. He is going to take care of himself henceforth.

The following day, I got on the plane to depart California. It was the first time I was traveling alone without any member of my family or a friend since October 2007. It felt strange to sit beside a complete stranger and to have no meaningful conversation except occasional courtesies for almost seven hours. It marked the beginning of a new season different from what I had become accustomed to, and a re-entry into an independent life. I knew there would be more of such travels as the Feet of Grace takes on its assignments.

The flight to Chicago provided me with the opportunity to reflect on the life I have shared with my husband and sons so far. My heart overflowed with gratitude to God for the blessing they have been to me. They bore with me the burden of the storms of the last eight years without once complaining. I am of all women most blessed to have these three men in my life.

In another ten days, I will be back in the air again, this time on the last leg of my return journey home with my husband and an empty nest waiting for me at the other end. My husband and I will begin a new phase in our lives as empty nesters. We will need to recalibrate so that we can fit well into this new life.

I pondered on the areas where we would need to make adjustments as I flew over the drought affected mountainous landscape from Ontario to San Francisco. I knew for sure that we must make every effort to prevent drought in our relationship and family life in this season of change. We must keep our relationship fresh, vital and flourishing.

                         

One area that will require attention and negotiation across the board is COMMUNICATION.  

Managing Communications Across Different Time Zones:

In the last couple of weeks, we found ourselves in different time zones with fourteen hours apart. That required some concerted effort and negotiations to ensure that all the four of us can communicate with each other even if not all together at the same time. The school suggested that we negotiate a communication plan with our children. There's wisdom in that counsel if someone is going to sleep when the other is just waking up on the other side of the world.

Managing without significant persons:

Sooner than later, the day is going to come that I will actually be alone at home. I will have to lock the door by myself that night and go up two flights of stairs to my bedroom, activate the alarm and go to sleep. I have never had to do that since we moved into our home in Geneva twelve years ago. But I had a good practice living alone in Cairo for almost eighteen months in between. So I am very sure by the grace of God I will recalibrate correctly and adjust in the season too.

The chorus of the song, “My Life Is In Your Hands” by Kirk Franklin came to my heart as I pondered on my season of change:

I know that I can make it

I know that I can stand

No matter what may come my way

My life is in Your hands.

With Jesus, you can make it

With Jesus, you can stand

No matter what may come your way

Your life is in His hands.

Some changes give us notice and time to prepare. Some changes come unannounced and unexpected. Some are painful and devastating. Some are part of growth and life. Whatever kind of changes you may be faced with, you need to know what does not change when everything changes.

God is unchanging.

That's why we cannot be consumed or destroyed in the season of change.

What are the changes going on in your life in this season? What do you have to do to recalibrate and adjust to your new definition of normal? In which areas do you have to negotiate with significant people in your life so you can maintain stability?

Whatever your story may be, I want to assure you that God is mindful of you in this season of change. I want to encourage you to commit your cares, anxiety and concerns to Him. He cares about you where you are right now. You can depend on Him for counsel and guidance, so you are able to maintain stability in your new season.

Pause, Listen, Balance, And Stay Focused.

Once upon a time, my agenda was snow-white. The occasional specks of ink on my agenda were mainly activities relating to keeping me alive—hospital appointments, physiotherapy and home care. That is now history of past events. It is no longer breaking news that Irene’s plate is always fully loaded these days. Hence my absence from the blogosphere over the past three weeks.

The run-up to the Hit The Street For Their Feet Charity Walk on April 25^th was hectic. It left me breathless. I have not had time to catch my breath since then. All the donations coming from across three continents had to be acknowledged and receipted irrespective of the amount because each of them made a difference and added value taking us to our set goal. I am so grateful to God that I have much to acknowledge. The administrative part of the Charity is still ongoing.

It was in the midst of that that I realized that I had only thirty days (now seventeen) left to the wedding of the dear daughter of Zion who God used to support me during the year post my amputation. She cared for me and attended to my needs during those early days while I learnt to regain my autonomy and to get accustomed to my new definition of normal as an amputee. She has been a blessing to me. I had committed to help translate her dream to reality and time was fast running out. I was in overdrive now.

Alongside came the preparations for the Annual Conference, which took place in my church last weekend. While we were getting ready, I had to go for a surgery to correct what the doctors termed “a rare form of adhesion” which got my tracheotomy scar stuck to my trachea. It was a day surgery. I was back in my kitchen barely 3 hours after the surgery. But it was a restless and rather painful night afterward and has required a twice a week trip to the hospital to keep an eye on it.

In the midst of all these, my accountability partners and very concerned friends were keeping a tab on me. They wanted to know where I was, regarding my pending assignments—completion of my book and getting the Feet Of Grace website running to name a few. And the pressure mounted.

That was when I had to pause. I needed to take a deep breath. I was feeling overwhelmed and overcharged. I have a passionate aversion to idleness with a relentless drive for purpose, perfection and making a difference. It appears that this combination has pushed me to the other side of the spectrum.

The outlook for the next four months seems even more charged with several planned travels, ministry project and pending Ministry training assignments. It was the time for me to pause and listen.

I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens, empowers and infuses me with strength from His limitless stores. But I am not called to do everything.

Having a clear guidance and direction from God as to what He wants me to do, when, where and how He wants me to do the things He has called me to do has become an imperative. I must pause and listen. If I am not quiet, I cannot hear Him speaking to me. It is only when I am getting instructions from Him that I can balance all the many balls that I have to juggle in the air. It is only by His grace that I can do the things He has called me to do. I need to pause, listen and balance.

I know God also has a deep aversion to idleness. Several passages in the Bible points in that direction.

"And about the eleventh hour he went out and found others standing around; and he said to them, 'Why have you been standing here idle all day long?'” – Matthew 20:6

“"The one who is unwilling to work shall not eat." – 2Thess. 3:10

“You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you,” – 1Thess 4:11

I also know that God does not want me to burn out or run on my own steam, I cannot be useful to Him that way. Therefore, I must insert precious times of rest into the equation.

Several key points shone brightly like a lighthouse on a dark night as I processed all the above.  I will share some of them with you.

1.       I have to learn to say NO:

If I am going to stay focused on the goal and accomplish the tasks God laid on my heart for this year, I have to give myself the permission to say No. First to myself and then to others. A young man challenged me recently to master the art of No in an excellent article he posted on his blog - The Art of No. It is not just about saying No but how to manage a No response. What do I mean by saying no to myself? I mean I cannot do everything that comes to my mind even if it sounds great and will benefit someone.

2.        I need to prioritize:

Some tasks are important, but they are not urgent. Some things that God calls us to do are urgent and important because someone is waiting at the other side to receive of it. I cannot afford to be lackadaisical about the things that are important in God’s kingdom agenda. The fact that He has not issued a deadline the way my bosses at work would do does not mean that I can do my God-ordained assignments at my convenience.

3.       Ultimately, my accountability is to God:

God has called me to be a good steward of the resources He has assigned to me to manage. These include the talents, gifts and abilities with which He endowed me. As a steward of God’s resources, there will come a time I much give an account of what I have done with these resources. As well as how I have fared with the responsibilities and tasks He assigned to me. Doing His will and fulfilling His call upon my life requires my utmost attention and dedication.

God’s all-sufficient grace is available and richly abounding to each of us so that we having all sufficiency in all things and at all times may abound to every good work. I want to abound in good works. My earnest desire is to impact lives for good, make a difference and leave a lasting legacy. I must, therefore, run the race set before me tapping into the rich grace available to me and with my gaze focused on the ultimate goal.

Over the coming months, I will do my best to keep this space we share together to enrich and encourage one another active while I strive to maintain a balance in my responsibilities and commitments. There will be guest posts here, and I hope to see the blog relocate to the Feet Of Grace website as soon as it is up. In the interim, I ask you to uphold me in prayers; that I may have strength to do what I am called can do, courage to accept those that I cannot do and the wisdom to know the difference. Pray also that God will send me help fitted for this assignment.

I pray that each of you will flourish in the place where God has assigned you.

What do you do when you feel overwhelmed with so many things to do? Share and let's encourage one another.

To Share Or Not To Share: Part 2

First of all, let me apologize for my absence from this space for the past two weeks. I had many balls to juggle in the air. I cannot complain because it has been my prayer to be gainfully engaged but I did not anticipate the overwhelming volume of things that would daily demand my urgent attention. I learnt to commit my arm-long list of things-to-do to God each day in prayer and keep my focus on His agenda.

This blog refused to be written in a hurry. When I started the discussion three weeks ago, I did not expect the volume and seriousness of the response it would generate. I am very grateful to all those who responded both on the blog and by email. Thank you very much for your contributions. They were insightful.

There were many viewpoints provided and a number of issues highlighted. It appeared that this is an issue that many couples are struggling with. Also, I got some feedback that were personal and required some counselling. It was at this point that I decided to go back to the Lord in prayer. I needed His leading and guidance to address this issue and in particular to give the right counsel to those who presented personal situation.

Pooling together all the contributions I received, with a further study of the Word and vast literature available on the subject, I would like to address this issue from three premises:

1.       God’s plan and desire for marriage.

2.       What secrets, lies and withholding information does to the relationship.

3.       Instances when discretion and sound judgment is required.

God’s plan and desire for marriage:

We can glean from Genesis 2: 24 – 25 that God desired for a man to be united to his wife and for the two to become one flesh. Then, we note that the two were both naked and they felt no shame: “they were not ashamed.” That is, not embarrassed in each other’s presence

We can conclude from these two verses and many others that referred to it in the New Testament, that God’s will is for husband and wife to be in spiritual and functional unity, walking in integrity and serving God together. “The biblical concept of marriage is an oneness between two individuals that pictures the oneness of Christ with His church.  When this harmony, unity and oneness is operative, the entire society prospers under the hand of God” (1).

Both the husband and the wife are expected to supply what the other lack so that they can become truly one flesh in complete unity, complementing each other.

“Nakedness suggests that they were at ease with each other without any fear of exploitation”

– Bible Knowledge Commentary.

This is the degree of fellowship that God intended for marriage, where there is no fear of exploitation or a potential for evil to be done to one another, but a depth of trust which indicates that they will both act in the best interest of each other. Anything that will cause a couple not to be at ease and open to each other has the potential to destabilize the unity and harmony God intends for them to share.

True friends should not feel the need to hide what they are doing from each other. “And the Lord said, shall I hide from Abraham that which I do?” (Gen. 18:17). Abraham was a friend of God. True friends communicate freely with each other without fear. Husbands and wives should shared such an intimate relationship, which allows for free and open communication.

Openness is what God designed for marriage as they become one flesh. God’s desire is for husband and wife to have a marriage where secrets cannot have a foothold.

Secrets, lies and withholding information does and its effect on the relationship:

Surprises are great in a marriage once in a while but they are not likely to be a constant dynamics of the relationship. 

“Where transparency and trust are the forefront of a marriage, surprises should never be a problem” – Kate Aldrich (www.onefleshmarriage.com)

Secrets are those things you do not INTEND to tell your spouse. Secrets will keep us from connecting at a deeper level. Keeping secrets imply a certain level of “shadiness” that will limit openness in a relationship. Withholding information and keeping secrets can be counter-productive to growing an open, honest and healthy relationship. Once it becomes easy to keep “little secrets” it will not be long before we begin to keep big secrets, which would be detrimental to our marriage.

Sharing information should be a constant practice in trust and honesty. Open and honest communication is not only the best way to build a healthy relationship, it is the foundation of any healthy relationship. Indeed, trust and honesty are the backbones of a good relationship.

Secrecy robs the relationship of intimacy. It creates a gulf between the couple. The more you hide from each other, the more you turn away from each other, and the wider the gulf becomes. Even when physical intimacy appears to be ok or even great, emotional and spiritual intimacy becomes limited and strained.

-          How can you truly be one flesh with someone you cannot share your heart with, someone locked out of the some areas of your life?

-      How can you pray in unity with someone you are lying to or not telling the truth when asked?

What is the motive for not sharing? The crux of the matter is still WHY we are withholding information from each other.

-          Is it in the best interest of the other party?

-          Does it require lying or sidestepping the truth?

There should not be any sphere of our lives as a couple that is not accessible to the person we are one flesh with in a healthy marriage. That does not how mean that we don’t occasionally need our space or time alone, which is by mutual consent.

Instances when discretion and sound judgment is required:

I would like to share two Biblical stories as case studies of when discretion and sound judgment were exercised in the Bible with regard to sharing information.

Abigail:

The Bible noted in 1Samuel 25 that she was an intelligent and beautiful woman with good understanding. She was married to Nabal. Her husband was described as churlish, mean, wicked and evil in his doing. No one can talk to him – does what he wants to do regardless of the consequences. He was an ungrateful man, who could not show even the required societal courtesy. His wickedness put his family at a great risk.

When Abigail was informed of her husband’s action and the evil that has been determined against her household. Her reaction was spontaneous – she wasted no time to initiate remedial action (1Samuel 28:18). Note verse 19: “…But she did not tell her husband Nabal” what she was going to do. Wisdom dictated that she took action without her husband’s knowledge.

She pleaded and interceded for her unthinking and unwise husband, and her entire household. She also prevented David from having on his conscience the burden of needless bloodshed. After she had succeeded in averting evil from her household, she went to her husband to tell him. Here again, she exercised discretion and wisdom by waiting for the right time, she told him nothing because he was drunk. She waited until morning when he had become sober, and she told him ALL that had happened.

She did not lie to her husband about the events that took place neither did she withhold the information from him. But knowing the kind of man her husband was, she managed the situation with discretion, good judgment and wisdom. At the appropriate time she told him everything.

There are still men and women who don’t listen to others and only do what they want to do even to the extent of putting their families at risk. If you are married to such a person how can you exercise discretion in managing sensitive situations in your relationship without telling lies and being dishonest with your spouse?

When crisis thrusts itself on us, we need to take a tight rein on ourselves and let the Holy Spirit guide. I believe we should not depend on our own reasoning to deal with such a situation but on God’s grace and help, and expect His grace to work on our behalf. We can also seek counsel from respected Christians.

Abraham (Genesis 22):

Abraham and Sarah waited 25 years for Isaac, the child of promise, to be born. Then, God tested Abraham by asking him to sacrifice his only son whom he loved on a mountain he was to be shown. The Bible recorded that early the next morning Abraham got up and saddled his donkey and took his servants and his son with him on the journey. His response was instant and of unquestioning obedience.

The question as raised by some of the contributors to this discussion was; did Abraham consult with Sarah overnight and told her about God’s instruction? Obviously the answer is a resounding NO! I don’t believe that Sarah or any woman for that matter would have willingly given up a child, she waited so long for without a strong argument.

But Abraham knew God as a covenant keeping God. He knew that in matters concerning God’s clear instructions, he could not consult with flesh and blood but simply to act in quiet submissive obedience.

I learnt from this story that there will be instances when we cannot consult with flesh and blood when God gives a clear instruction that requires our submissive obedience. I believe that under such circumstances God’s grace will also be available to the spouse to understand why such obedience is required and be supportive of it.

Some other highlights from the feedback:

-          While transparency is important, a couple may need to exercise discretion in sharing something a third party had shared in confidence. When this is shared between the couple, it should be only for the purpose of praying and not for discussion with another person.

-          God said that two is better than one. It is important that couples should make decisions about issues that concerns their lives together.

-          Keeping secrets from our spouse erodes confidence and creates opportunities for suspicion and distrust.

God is a God of knowledge, by Him are actions weighed. He knows us inside out and He know the motive behind all we do. We will account to Him for all our actions. It is possible to take remedial actions when we have not acted right, but first seek God’s face and guidance, and possibly godly counsel.

Today’s post has been long and extensive in the bid to cover as much angle as possible on this subject. I pray that you will all experience the true oneness that God designed for your marriage and trust that it will enrich your relationship.

1.       http://www.studymode.com/essays/Anthropology-Marriage-And-Divorce-1007854.html

Compelling Motivation

When I concluded my blog post last week; Stay Focused, I realized that we will need something to keep us focused especially when it gets really hard and we are faced with obstacles. The more I meditated on this, the more I realized that what we need is a compelling motivation. As I researched and prepare this blog post, I began to understand that there is more to compelling motivation than its application to staying focused.

During my days in the university campus, I attended a number of Marriage Seminars, especially as a postgraduate student. At one of such annual seminars, the speaker stated that, it is essential for us to know why we were convinced that the person we desire to marry is God’s will for us. She noted that such convictions will become very important later on in the marriage. So she encouraged all the singles at the event to examine their hearts, wait in the presence of God, and be convinced that they are in the will of God before proceeding in their relationships.

I also have asked this question of many intending couples, I have by the grace of God, had the opportunity to talk with during pre-marriage counselling sessions.

Why do you think this person is God’s will for you?

What are your convictions from God about the individual you want to be married to?

Why him or why her?

The truth of the matter is that these convictions will become the compelling motivation that will keep you going when the marriage is hit by the dark seasons of “for poorer, for worse and in sickness.”

I know this from experience. My marriage has experienced all the seasons we pledged in our wedding vows: “for better for worse, for richer for poorer, and in sickness and health…” Knowing without any iota of doubt in my heart that God brought my husband and I together for a purpose, kept us through the difficult and challenging seasons. I love, respect and appreciate him more today, through all we have experienced together as couple, than on the day I first found I’m in love with him 24 years ago. That love has grown and matured, having been tested by fire.

This principle of having a deep personal conviction based on the knowledge of God’s will and faith in His leading, wisdom and guidance, is applicable to everything we do in all the spheres of our lives. My friend and Sista, Bidemi Mark-Mordi in her recent blog post, Is Your Wheel Balanced?, referred to these spheres of our lives as “the seven spokes of a wheel: spiritual, family, financial, physical, mental, personal and career.”

Every aspects of our lives must be governed by the same principle:

http://www.languagepossible.com/2011/12/what-motivates-you/

Why are you doing what you are doing in each area?

Why are you pursuing a particular goal, dream or vision?

What are you seeking to achieve at the end of it all?

Bottom-line:

What is the why behind what you are doing or what you want to do? Your convictions. Your driving force.

http://hoopboost.blogspot.ch/2012/02/how-hungry-are-you.html

Motives are what lie behind an action and they determine whether the act is righteous or sinful, good or bad. It is the moral reason for doing what we do. It is possible to do the right things for the wrong reasons.

These moral reasons must be compelling because they must be able to capture and hold our attention in a strong, powerful and irresistible way. So compelling motivations refers to the strong and irresistible moral reasons for doing what you do. They lie deep in the heart and in the foundation of every Christian life. Without a compelling motivation, you will not be able to endure to the end,

What are your motives?

Could it be: Passion, Possession, Position or Popularity?

If these are the motives compelling your decisions and actions, first they will not sustain you when the going gets rough. Secondly, they will push you into the rat race and further away from the will of God to the place where the end is used to justify the means. That is not the place you want to be as a Christian. It is a place where integrity is sacrificed at the altar of gain, where long term pleasure is sacrificed for immediate gratification and where the focus is on now instead of eternity.

A compelling motivation,

Takes hold and manifests,

To possess as if obsessed,

Without question to where one is destined.

Lawrence S. Pertillar

  

Compelling Motivation to live a godly life:

For those of us who are called by the name of God—Christians, what should be our compelling motivation?

God has done so much for us, He has been so gracious to us, and has loved us with such great love that we must therefore give loving, grateful answer to that goodness by living a faithful and fruitful life. Therefore, gratitude to God is a very strong reason to live a godly life. A truly grateful heart will long to demonstrate its thankfulness by pleasing the One Who has been kind and generous to him. A Christian lives a godly life because by doing so, he is showing gratitude and thankfulness to the God, his Saviour.

Another compelling motivation for living godly life is the fear of God’s judgment. That is, the fear of the immediate and future consequences of disobeying God. Closely related to this, is the reward for living faithful and righteous life in this life and in the one which is to come. “For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil” (2Cor 5:10). We also know that each of us will give account of himself before God, our Father (Romans 14:12). A consideration of this should prompt us to faithfulness in our walk and relationship with God. It is a very strong moral reason to desire to live a holy and godly life before God and men.

“There is no more compelling motivation to worthwhile endeavors than the knowledge that we are children of God, that God expects us to do something with our lives and that He will give us help when help is sought.”

– Gordon B. Henkley

Compelling Motivation to stay focused and committed:

The desire to do what God has called you to do will keep shining as light in the darkness of difficulties, opposition and obstacles, you may face in the process of doing what you know God has called you to do.

Therefore, your conviction is based on the fact that you know that God has called you into that particular relationship, or to a ministry, or an assignment or to fulfil a purpose. You know that the vision and dream in your heart is God-given and oriented towards accomplishing something in God’s grand plan. Given this conviction, you can keep doing what you know God has called you to do, even when you are faced with resistance or opposition or you cannot see the immediate impact of what you are doing.

I know I am called to write. I cannot but write. Despite the many obstacles I have faced in the process of writing and the time and resources it requires, I simply cannot stop writing. I am learning each day to depend on Him for the grace and the willingness to write the words He gives me to write. I am learning to trust Him to take care of those who read these words and use them to touch their lives for good and to make a difference in their lives. I am also learning to rely on Him to take care of my needs as I obediently pursue the task assigned to me even when it is very hard. I am convinced that He is able to take my writing to the highest level He has in mind for me.

Do you know what God has called you to do? What has been the compelling motivation keeping you on the track and focused on the goal? Share with us and let us encourage one another.

I will continue this blog post next week as I expound on compelling motivations to keep us committed in our relationships and to keep abounding in good works. Until then, may the Lord grant you an ever-increasing revelation of the knowledge of His will to give you strong irresistible moral reasons to stay faithful to Him and His calling upon your life.

Be Prepared_Part 2

Twice within the first week of this New Year, I was challenged not to focus on making New Year resolutions this year, but to focus on something else and that is, RESOLVE.

According to Jeff Goins (Author and Blogger), “While the words are similar, the difference in meaning is significant: A resolution is something you make; resolve is something you have.” Resolve is about making a definite and serious decision to do something. It is not wishing to do but taking concrete steps to do. My Pastor in his sermon on the first Sunday of 2014 said that often New Year resolutions are made on trivial issues, which we try to accomplish by willpower, but willpower does not last. 

Resolve is what will help us to standout and demonstrate our uniqueness and to pursue God's unique purpose for our lives.

We will be able to accomplish the dreams and desires of our hearts based on God’s promises to us and the change we so earnestly desire, if we will firmly purpose in our minds to do something concrete and definite that will lead us to the fulfillment of God’s plans for us. This will require determination and discipline, and the conviction that we can do all things through Christ Who strengthens us.

Our next line of action must therefore be to prepare to receive the answers to the requests and petitions we have made to Him. I believe we all have great expectations for 2014, not only at personal level, but also for our families, our friends, our churches, our communities and nations. I certainly do. As I indicated in my blog post last week, Be Prepared, in anticipation of the fulfillment of these great expectations, we have a part to play which is predicated on what we resolve to do.

Resolve to trust in God Who sees and hears:

As God’s servants, we are to trust His Word and to wait for its fulfillment, enduring patiently to the end. Anyone who owes his existence to divine election ought to live by faith and trust in God Who elected him. We are assured as God’s people that we have a living and covenant-keeping God Who sees and hears us (Gen 16:13, 21:17, Ps. 118:21).

Twice Hagar cried to God when she was abandoned and rejected. God heard her cry of misery and saw her plight. Twice, He answered her and produced miracles for her. If He can do that for Hagar, the bond woman, on the basis of His covenant with Abraham, how much more would He gladly do for us who are redeemed by the precious blood of His Son, Jesus Christ.

When God gives us a promise, let us wait patiently for its fulfillment no matter how long it may seem to take to come to pass. He will always do as He promised. So we must resolve this year that we will guard our faith and trust in God. He will not leave us alone or abandon us.

Resolve to enquire from the Lord:

David frequently sought God’s instruction, counsel and direction before making big decisions. Nine times in the Bible, David enquired of the Lord, “Shall I….?” At each time, God answered and graciously gave him clear and definite answers/instructions. Many of these are recorded in 1Samuel chapter 23. David, even clarified the instructions in 2Sam 2:1, “By which way shall I go?” It was not enough for him to know that he can go ahead with his plan but he wanted to know exactly how he should go about it. 

In 2Sam 5:23, God’s instruction to him was very specific. He said, “Do not go straight up, but circle around behind them and attack them in front of the balsam trees" (NIV). "You shall not go up: circle around behind them and come upon them in front of the mulberry trees." - 2Sam 5:23 (KJV). Please pay attention to the details in this instruction. He was told exactly what, how and where to do. With such definite guidance, David was certainly on course to victory.

If we are going to do great exploits for God and His Kingdom in 2014, if we are going to see our expectations fulfilled and our dreams come true, we will have to be prepared to seek God’s face for direction. We will have to be willing to wait in His presence for instructions. Even more importantly, we must resolve to obediently follow God’s instructions to the letter. David resolved to depend on God for victory and for providence. He disciplined himself to seek for God’s instructions. We must resolve this year not to take any action without first seeking God’s counsel. It is a foolish thing to present God with a fait accompli —a finished plan.

Resolve not to be paralyzed by fear and opposition:

Not everyone you share your dreams and great expectations with, will cheer you on. There are those who will oppose you and there will be those who will discourage you. If you focus on your current circumstances and the limitations looming before you, the fear of “how can this be?” will also cripple you into inaction. In the name of the Lord, we are enabled to push back every opposition and push through every limitation. Though the giants may be on our way to hinder, but God has surely given us victory.

I pray that at each time you are faced with opposition and you feel discouraged, God will raise up for you, friends who would say to you, “fear not” and strengthen your resolve to wait and hold on to God, just as Jonathan did for David.

Resolve to cast your all cares on God:

Do not put your confidence in man, either for them to be loyal to your cause or support you in your quest to fulfill destiny. But trust only in the Lord for help and counsel. The arms of flesh will fail. The things I am looking up to God and trusting Him for in 2014, are too big to depend on men to help me. I have to totally rely and depend on God for them to be accomplished, and trust Him to work in mysterious ways His wonders to perform in my life. He will send me help for Zion and aid from His holy place. He is able to connect each of us to the helpers He has raised up for us ahead of this time.

Also, we cannot afford to trust on our own understanding but in all our ways acknowledge Him and He will prosper all that concerns. Even when it comes to claiming our rights and what is rightfully ours, it is instructive to first of all seek God’s counsel and trust in His ability to help us (1Sam 30:8, 2Sam 2;1-2).

The Lord is with us. He is our Helper. He hears us when we cry out to Him. He gives us victory on all sides, indeed over every work of unrighteousness arisen against us. So, dear friends, resolve right from the onset to give all the glory to God for every victory, for every promised fulfilled, for every prayer answered and for every desire accomplished. David gave glory to God for every victory God gave him.

I know that God miraculously cares for the dependent and faithful believer. So, I want to encourage you not to let anything or anyone prevent you from fulfilling God’s purpose for your life this year. Resolve to depend on Him every step of the way.

Dear Friends, what are your expectations, desires and dreams for 2014? What would you resolve to do as you prepare to receive them? Share with us in the comment box and let us uphold one another in prayers.

May the Lord God in Whose presence we walk habitually, send His Angel with you and make your way prosperous and successful in 2014.

Be Prepared

At the close of 2013, I found myself reviewing previous posts on this blog and in the process discovered that I wrote two blog posts with exactly the same title: "And It Came To Pass." The first was on the 6th of December, 2012 and the second a year later, on the 20th of December, 2013. 

Reading these post over again gave me great assurance and confidence that God is a covenant keeping and promise fulfilling God. And I can rest secured in His unfailing love in 2014.

As we begin 2014, I am pregnant with hope and full of great expectations for the year. It is a year of accomplishing and celebrating many key milestones within my nuclear and extended family: 10th and 21st wedding anniversaries, 20th, 50th, 70th and 75th birthdays. It is a year of seeing the manifestation of answers to prayers. And of the fulfillment of dreams and desires.

We have great expectations and outlook for 2014, being persuaded as a family that we will celebrate growth, expansion, promotions and see the Lord expand our coast beyond our wildest imagination. We receive from God the grace to do great exploits for Him and for the Kingdom this year. And we will enter into the doors of opportunities He will open to us.

Physically, at this point in time, we are at the position where like Mary, we can only say "How can this be since ….?" (Luke 1:34). Like Abraham, we also say, "Lord God, by what shall I know that I shall inherit it?” (Gen 15:8). And like Zechariah, the question is “How can I be sure of this?” (Luke 1:18). How shall it possibly come to pass, all these dreams, visions and heart desires? By what shall we know that we shall accomplish these great things? Humanly speaking, it is mind-boggling just to consider the enormity of God’s promises to us and our dreams and desires.

Our hope and assurance is anchored on the unfailing promises of God. It premised on the experience we have in seeing God fulfill His Word in our lives. If we go by all He did for us in 2013, we have very strong reasons to rest and rely on Him to accomplish all He promises for us in 2014 and all our righteous desires anchored on His promises.

We know for a truth and by experience that God is a covenant keeping God. He will not go back on His Word. He will not renege on His promises. Faithful is He Who has promised, at the appointed time, He will do just what He said He will do. This is a non-negotiable and solid truth that we can go to bank with!

Given this hope and assurance, we can begin to prepare to possess our possessions as we step into 2014. Right from day one, we prepare like an expectant mother for the birth of what we have conceived by faith in God.

What are we preparing for and how?

Be prepared to depend on God’s strength and grace:

It is by the grace and enablement of God that we will be able to do great exploits in 2014 because the race is not to the swift.

"I have observed something else under the sun. The fastest runner doesn't always win the race, and the strongest warrior doesn't always win the battle. The wise sometimes go hungry, and the skillful are not necessarily wealthy. And those who are educated don't always lead successful lives. It is all decided by chance, by being in the right place at the right time" - Eccles 9:11 (NLT).

It is not by power or by might. But it shall be by the abounding grace of God so that He only can take all the glory. We cannot depend on our own strength or skills or hard work but trust and depend on the grace and strength of God. For it is the Lord Who gives us the ability to make wealth and to be successful. He does this so that He may accomplish the covenant which He swore to our fathers of old (Deut. 8:18). It is by the wisdom He gives that we will do the extraordinary. We must with all our might use all the opportunities God provides for us.

Be prepared to do your part:

"Make this valley full of ditches...."(2Kings 3:16), that’s what Elisha said to Jehoshaphat and the two Kings with him. They needed water and victory in the battle they were about to embark on against the King of Moab. To try their faith and obedience, Elisha commanded them to make the valley full of pits to receive water. You have an action to take in anticipation of God’s intervention—prepare to receive the miracle. So they dug the ditches. We have a part to play for us to see the accomplishment of God's promise in our lives. This requires that we listen attentively to God and follow His leading and instruction. We are not to sit idle with our hands crossed across our chests. Those who expect God's blessings, must dig pools for the rain to fill. Not only did they receive the water through God’s intervention, the same valley flowing with water was used to bring them victory over the Moabities.

During our family Bible Study time recently, we shared many examples of such obedient following of God’s instructions in preparation to receive the victory, deliverance and provision God has promised. The felling of the walls of Jericho and the provision for the dead Prophet’s wife and children are some of these examples.

Dear Friends, whatever you are trusting and looking up to God for in 2014, it is a light thing for God to do. So be prepared to receive them. Be prepared to walk in the fullness of God’s purpose and counsel for your lives. I know from my experience of God and from the Bible that if God has given you His Word, the sequel to the story of your life can only be: "and it came to pass."

I will continue this blog post next week, so watch out for Part 2.

I pray that God will bless you with abounding grace to do great exploits for His Kingdom in 2014.

Happy New Year to you and your family.

Connecting Lives Beyond Imagination

I heard the front door opened. I heard her call out from downstairs, “Where is she?” and the sound of her footsteps running up the staircase followed. I stood at the top of the staircase and waited for her to appear as she turned round the spiral. In a moment, I beheld her and then she was in my arms. We hugged (at last), we shouted, “Hallelujah!” and we hugged some more. It was a dream come true. That was Tuesday, November 11, 2013, and it had taken 2 years and 7 months of waiting with expectation. She is Bidemi Mark-Mordi, the Author of Sistapower and Publisher of Effectual Magazine.

Looking back today, I can testify that my first contact with Effectual Magazine in October, 2010 was divinely orchestrated. That was when a dear brother in church blessed me with an enveloped gift after the Sunday service. I opened the envelop and found in it a copy of Effectual, a Magazine for women and those who love them. It was of high quality both in content and presentation. The colors were vibrant and inviting. The message was richly inspiring. I was deeply impressed, specially noting that it was published in my dear country, Nigeria.

I shared the Readers’ Digest-styled magazine with my husband, since it is also for those who love women. He encouraged me to write to the editor and acknowledged the job well done. I promised to do so but that slipped through the cracks. Six months later, I had a very strong nudging in my spirit to keep the promise I made earlier. I searched for the magazine but could not find it. One day, while searching through a pile of books on my husband’s bedside table, the magazine fell out. That was on April 19, 2011. This time, I immediately went to my laptop and I sent an email to the Editor of the magazine. I wrote about my impressions of the magazine. More than that, I asked her if I could support them by distributing it in Geneva as I was sure that there would be many more women who would be blessed by it, and also that I would like to contribute to the magazine if possible.

She replied instantaneously and included her telephone number. Soon we were on the phone chatting as if we had known each other for ever. We simply clicked in the spirit. I later found out that my mail came at a time she was at her lowest point and unsure of the directions to which the magazine was heading. According to a well-respected Sister and Pastor, the message was timely. Though I thought I had sent it late, it got to Bidemi when she needed it the most. It was a divinely engineered connection.

I invited Bidemi to Geneva earlier in this year and during the planned visit, she was to launch her book, Sistapower and facilitate the Women Empowerment Seminar in my church on April 27. She came. She and her husband, Pastor Mark met my husband. They stayed in my house but I was not there. I was in the hospital, in the intensive care unit (ICU), in coma. She was not allowed to see me. By the time I woke up some weeks after, I found that she had come and gone. I missed the opportunity of meeting with her in person. But she left a message that she would be back in Geneva, and we will dance and give praise to God together.

That day came last week on Tuesday. For over two years, we talked for hours over the phone; we praised God and prayed together; we had times of crying and laughing over the phone, and we encouraged each other through difficult moments. But I got to know more about Bidemi, the fine details, during the week-long stay with me than I knew about her in the last two and half years.

Our relationship deepened. And it confirmed to me again that when we dwell in close proximity with those we are in relationship with and we give attention to one another, our relationship deepens and becomes richer. This has application for all our relationships especially in marriage. When couples spend time together and give undivided attention to each other, their relationship and intimacy deepens. Even more important is our fellowship with God. Enoch walked in habitual fellowship with God. They were such great friends that God just took Enoch to heaven with Him. God did not allow him to taste death (Gen. 5:24).

I watched her ministering during two separate gatherings of ladies. Each one was unique and different. As we learnt later, there were specific persons who needed to hear the message God led her to share at each event. For these ladies, it was the confirmation of what God had spoken to them.

As the visit drew to an end, I began to reflect again on how it all started and the impact this connection has had on me, Bidemi and on the lives of the many ladies, and men too, who have become connected and reached through our connection.

One man’s response to God’s leading to give me a gift of a magazine became like the branching of a lightning bolt reaching far beyond its starting point. The rippling effects of that singular act of kindness is still being felt up till today. Our families have become connected together. Bidemi and her husband are now linked with many more families here in Geneva. As Pastor Mark said, he could never have imagined this happening a few years ago. Through Bidemi, I have become connected to a network of Sistas pursuing God's purpose for their lives.

There are many more ripples of this relationship. Sistapower and Effectual are circulating in Geneva and beyond. Sistapower was translated into French by a young lady in my church and is ready for publication. Many ladies are being motivated to be relentless in the pursuit of their God-ordained purpose and to fulfill their dreams. Lives are being connected and touched for good. Windows of opportunities are being opened to many at personal and professional levels.

I am simply amazed and overwhelmed at what God can do with one act of kindness, one act of obedience and one man’s willingness to share. It has gone far beyond my or Bidemi’s wildest dream. A seemingly ordinary gift and become an extraordinary powerful connector of many lives.

Last night while preparing this blog post, and in search of a document, I came across the first draft of the article I wrote in July 2009. It was titled “Divine Connections.” Three years later, I was amazed when Bidemi told me the theme for the September issue of Effectual would be “Connections.” I told her I had an article related to the theme. That article was published in October 2012. I never knew at the time I wrote the article that God had prepared a place ready for it ahead of time. At the appointed time, He connected me with that opportunity.

I concluded that God is constantly speaking and His Holy Spirit is always nudging us. But, the question is, are we taking time to pay attention to Him and listen to His voice? When we do so, and we obey Him and follow His instructions, He will add the EXTRA to our ordinary and turn it into EXTRAORDINARY. He is able to connect us with the information and the helper already designated to facilitate the process of this transformation. Because He sees and knows the potentials of our ordinariness. I will share more on this in my next blog post.

Dear Friends, God is speaking to your heart today. Do pay attention to Him, dwell in His presence, listen actively to His voice and take steps to obey Him. He will surely lead you to your Promise Land – to the place of fulfillment where dreams come true.

Not Static. Not Stagnant. Next Steps

Not Static. Not Stagnant. Next Steps.

Today's blog post takes its leap from my last post - Blog Post 100: Not Static. Not Stagnant

I noted in the previous post that at one time or the other, we are visited with seasons of darkness and vicissitudes, which forms dark bands across the landscape of our lives . Seasons of pains, hurts, disappointments, rejection and grief. Seasons when the fulfilment of our dreams and desires look bleak. Seasons when we appear to be rooted to the same spot or going around the same mountain for so long and our breakthrough seems not forthcoming.

I concluded that at such times, like David did in 1Sam 30, we need to seek God's face and take God-oriented actions.

In today's post, I will share with you some of these God-oriented actions we may take to move forward and away from the spot where we have been sitting on the track.

A Call for Consultation, Collaboration and Partnership:

Right from the beginning, God demonstrated to us the importance of consultation, collaboration and partnerships. After creating all living and moving creatures and calling into existence the firmaments, when it came to the creation of man, there was a difference in God's approach. He did not say, "Let there be man" nor did He say, "Let me create man" but God said, "Let us create man in our image…"  A consultation was held in the formation of man. "Let us" was spoken by God to the Son and the Holy Spirit. The three persons of the Trinity, God the Father, God the Son and the Holy Ghost consulted and concurred in the creation of man. There was a partnership and inclusiveness of these Three in the creation of man.

Man was created different from all the other creatures and living beings. He is the fusion of the flesh, soul and spirit.

Too many times, we try to go it on own and do things by ourselves—solve the problem in our own way and isolate ourselves from others in our dark seasons and how we deal with the issues of moving forward. This isolation almost always lead to a fall.

But what we need to do is to first consult with God and with the Holy Spirit for leading and direction. And there are times we need to consult with godly, matured, tried and tested Christians, God brings into our lives. It is amazing how God can connect us with such people if we listen to His voice and follow His leading.

The Bible says that there is a great gain in the multitude of counsel. Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but there is safety in an abundance of counsellors (Prov. 11:14). The way of a fool is right in his own sight but a wise man listens to counsel (Prov. 12:15). Without counsel, plans fail but with many advisers they succeed (Prov. 15:22). There many more of such verses in the Bible, urging and encouraging us to seek wise counsel as we seek to move away from status quo and move forward in fulfilling God's plans for our lives.

I learnt a lot from Bidemi Mark-Mordi's book - Sistapower, about the power of collaboration and the importance of partnerships. From the Bible, we learn that "a three-fold cord cannot be easily broken." My Sista said in her book that "what this means is that every venture takes more than one person's input and once we have enough people making their input, the impact will be a lot more effective."

We will need to form God-directed partnerships in order fulfil our assignment, our calling and our dreams. The Bible is replete with many examples of people who consulted with each other, formed partnerships and alliances, and collaborated to achieve a common goal and purpose. Some were for good and some were for evil.

The Shunamite woman of 2Kings 4 consulted with her husband and proposed to him that they extend hospitality to the man of God, Elisha. It was not a small task that she proposed but they agreed to build an extension to their home to provide accommodation for Elisha and also to furnish the "apartment." This proposal is obviously a product of careful deliberation in addition to the display of kindness, thoughtfulness and appreciation of the man of God. But the final decision was in agreement. Read the rest of the story and see how this decision eventually affected their lives for good.

Marriage is an important relationship where husbands and wives must consult together and work in partnership, agreement and unity of purpose in every decision making and in fulfilling their God-given purpose.  Consultation and agreement are critical for a thriving relationship and beyond that, "There is usually a ripple effect when a man is connected with a woman that compliments him, (and it affects) all other relationships the man may be involved in, especially at work and in business" (Sistapower, p.29).

Collaboration and partnerships in other spheres of our lives also have rippling effects. "Let us" as the starting point of consultation and partnership provides us with the opportunity to advise, exhort, stir up and encourage one another to the work proposed. It gives us the chance to tap into the skills and resources that God has invested in others, which they bring to the relationship, and which God is poised to use to enhance our skills and resources.

When you are one in agreement and one in spirit and purpose with your partner, collaborator and assigned helper, there is no limit to what you can accomplish together especially when it is God-directed and pursued to fulfil God's purpose for your lives. In Genesis 11:1-9, the people were united and in agreement, and they were going to do the never-done and never-seen-before but unfortunately, their goal was in conflict with God's purpose.

The effect of partnering with the right person is like throwing a stone into calm waters and watching it ripple all the way to the shore. The impart is felt far beyond the original starting point. When we trust God to form the right partnerships, it catapults us beyond the spot where we have been rooted and in the process it touches many more lives that we could ever have imagined.

In taking the next steps forward and away for the status quo you have been at, I encourage you to wait in the presence of God and seek His instructions as to where to seek counsel and with whom you should collaborate or seek partnership. I pray that your ears will be sensitive to His voice as He leads you in the way to go.

Have you been a recipient of wise counsel or perhaps you have entered into partnerships which have taken you far beyond your wildest imagination, share your story and encourage someone today.