A Unique Pathway For A Unique Purpose

Subconsciously, my mind chose to focus on the process by which pearls are formed this morning. I was still in bed, musing on the events of my life in the past years and especially in the last few weeks. The several discussions I had with my Sistas, Bidemi and Audrey, while we were in London for the Sistapower Gathering in UK floated back into my mind. 

Purpose....
             Process....
                          Pain.....

These three words are so intricately woven together that they are inseparable. I had a light bulb moment as I pondered on how these tightly woven words have played out in my life story. That was when I remembered that I had written a blog post on pearls some years ago. I sought for it and found it.

I posted The Pearl Necklace on Wednesday, March 21, 2012. I still cannot remember what inspired that story. My jaws dropped as I read the blog post over again today. It was prophetic on many levels.

At the time of writing The Pearl Necklace, I had no indication that I would at some point in my life own a beading business. It was not even on my list of dreams and goals. But eighteen months later, I made my first bead jewelry set and my beading business was launched six months after that first set was made. 

Process and pain marked the path between March 2012 and June 2013 when purpose began to be revealed. I am overwhelmed at what God has been doing with Hands of Grace Creations; the doors this business has opened to me to share my testimony and the provision when most needed. 

Dear Friends, through it all, I learnt the following lessons:
- there is purpose in the process
- there is purpose in the pain
- my process is unique for my calling.

Your pathway to fulfilling your God-ordained purpose is unique for you. Be assured that God's grace can sustain you through whatever lies along the way

Read below The Pearl Necklace:

An unusual wandering in the “muse-land” took me to Chinatown. I walked along the street lined with jewelry shops and an array of beautiful necklaces displayed on the window of one of them drew my attention.

Through the window, I saw an old man sitting in front of a table laden with many bowls; his eyes beckoned me to come in. Unable to resist if I wished, I went in, with a swift sweep of his hands he directed me to sit across him. I did.

He picked a measured length of silk thread and threaded it through a needle. With a long deliberate pause, his eyes swept over the array of pearls in a wide range of sizes, shapes and colors in individual bowls on the tray in front of him, dazzling in their rich and vibrant luster.

He stretched his callous hands to the farthest bowl on the tray with tiny round pearls looking like caviar, picked one of them,  and passed the needle through it along with several others. He placed a knot after each one, gradually increasing the sizes until the midpoint.

Then he picked a shimmering drop-shaped pearl with the colors of a peacock, lifted it up to the rays of sun streaming into the room and turned it around on the tips of his gaunt fingers—it sparkled in sunlight.

“Precious,” he declared.

He strung it and continued with the round ones decreasing the sizes. It was a beautiful well-matched symmetric strand. I thought he would fix the clasp and finish it but he laid it down on another tray, picked up another strand of measured silk thread, and began the same process, this time the pearls were irregular in shape and size.

http://www.dreamstime.com/

“Each unique.”

I imagined so, since each pearl will bear the unique “signature” of the mother oyster that produced it.

Again at the midpoint he placed another shimmering peacock-colored pearl larger than the first one and finished up the strand as before. He laid the second strand below the first.

I was intrigued, but I glanced at my watch and shifted in the chair: “Where is he going with this?”

He must have read my mind, he smiled and said, “Wait, be patient.”

He picked the third strand of silk thread. This time after the first few small round pearls, the sizes increased dramatically until about the midpoint, and he placed smaller shimmering round pearls here and continued symmetrically to the end. He placed the third strand on the tray below the second.

Then he pulled one side of the three strands together, knotted them and worked the threads through one end of a gold clasp. He did the same for the other end. An exquisite picture emerged as he pulled the strands together, the midpoint pearls fitted on top of each other shimmering with the colors of a peacock. The irregular shaped dark green center strand was sandwiched between a thin rounded glittering black top strand and a thicker bottom strand in the same color. It was a perfect fit.

“Beautiful, eh?”

Admiring what he created, he said, “Each piece, part of the story. Without one, necklace not same.”

I agreed with him. The product of the painstaking process was indeed beautiful. Each pearl, irrespective of the size or shape, had to be in a defined location for the strung pearls to come together in a perfect fit. Each strand could have stood alone, but together they formed a beautifully created elegant necklace.

http://www.dreamstime.com/

It is reassuring to know we are precious, unique, and beautiful in the sight of God—fearfully and wonderfully created by Him. He meticulously strings together every divinely designed event in our lives, and fit them together for our good and to fulfill His ultimate purpose for us.

The pit, Potiphar’s house, and the prison—all are fitted together to prepare the perfect path to the palace for Joseph. Each experience was a unique event, which took Joseph closer to the fulfillment of his dreams. It was from the pit he was sold to the Medianites who brought him into Egypt and sold him to Potiphar, a Pharaoh’s officer. It was from Potiphar’s house he was sent to the prison. The prison brought him in contact with the Pharaoh’s Chief Butler, who at the appointed time provoked a recommendation on his behalf.   

Every event in our lives is allowed for a purpose and has a part to fulfill in the ultimate story. I got impatient because I did not know the design the old man had in mind for the pearls.

We also we get impatient and fidgety during the hard and difficult times when we seem to have more questions than answers. But this is the time to wait patiently with expectation trusting God Who knows the end from the beginning to work it all together for our good.

Do you know you are precious to God, and He has a good plan for you?

Do you know that God's good plan for you will require a painstaking process?

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. – Jer. 29:11

A Compelling Purpose.

"The compelling purpose of God lies behind everything in life, and that God is divinely shaping us into oneness with that purpose."- Oswald Chambers.

There is an irrefutable, well-reasoned, overwhelming plausible, powerful, potent and irresistible purpose of God behind every event of our lives. There are no chance events in the life of a Believer. Whatever God permits or allows in our lives has a compelling purpose. God’s words and actions are never purposeless.

"The things that happen do not happen by chance—they happen entirely by the decree of God. God is sovereignly working out His own purposes.

God’s will, purpose and plan for His children, does not exclude pain and suffering, even for those He love so much. Jesus is His Beloved Son in Whom He was well pleased. But part of His pleasure is ensuring that His eternal purpose is fulfilled, and that included allowing His Beloved Son to be crushed, beaten and humiliated. It was so that the Kingdom agenda may prosper through Jesus’ pain, suffering and death. How else would you and I have been adopted into God’s family? How else would we have experienced salvation and deliverance? How else would we have had the hope of eternal life with Him in His glory?

 The compelling purpose of God behind Jesus’ suffering was so that the price for sin is paid in full by being the final sacrifice for sin. Because Jesus submitted to God’s sovereign will and purpose, He provided for every human access into the very presence of God. This is the reason you and I have a hope in glory.

Therefore, a Christian is someone who trusts in the knowledge and the wisdom of God to accomplish His compelling purpose for his life in every situation, and not in his abilities. Even when he does not understand it or grasp the significance of the situation or the purpose for it. Christians are those who know that God directs their footsteps and delights in every detail of their life no matter what season of life they may be in or how dark that season may be.

“Each day is held in the hands of a caring Father. Every moment, it is kept by a loving God.” – Roy Lessin

The tagline on my email and my favourite quote is “Kept by the Hands of God, day by day, come what may.” This is informed by the knowledge that my life is kept in the hands of God. It is an assurance that if God holds my life in His hands, nothing can happen to me without His prior knowledge. If God does allow an event in my life, it is for a well-reasoned and overwhelming plausible reason and to fulfil a purpose in His Kingdom agenda.

It, therefore, behoves us as Christians to find purpose in our pain, afflictions and adversity. When we do, we will see blessings in areas where humanly speaking we should be bitter. Being fully persuaded that in all things God is working for our good. Every act of God is suffused with grace.

There are no exceptions to the ALL things. When God says ALL things work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His good purpose, He certainly means ALL things. This is applicable to everyone who loves God and to everyone who is called according to His good purpose.

I love God, with all my heart. I know God has called me for His purpose. I know my calling is to fulfil God's Kingdom agenda. So I can go to the bank on the validity of this promise knowing that God Whose word and promises are infallible is faithful to do just as He has promised.

Therefore, there is a compelling good purpose of God behind my twenty years of living with a chronic respiratory disease and a debilitating neuro-muscular disease. There's a powerful and potent purpose of God behind the amputation of my legs and every other challenging situation I have had to go through.

My pains and afflictions are not purposeless. Now, I see only in part. I am yet to grasp the full significance of all of the events of my life. But, I can definitely testify that God is not only working it together for my good, He is also using the story He is writing of my life to touch lives for good.

You see, my dear friends, God’s thoughts and ways are supremely higher than our thoughts and ways. His thoughts are composed of His eternal purpose, which we cannot fully comprehend on this side of the divide. That is why we cannot presume to know all that God is doing in us in our diverse seasons. Faith compels us to trust in His omniscience, knowing that He has complete and unlimited knowledge and awareness of all things

Many times we want to shield ourselves from some of the things God brings around us. But we need to understand that it is God who engineers our circumstances. Since Jesus’ life dwells in us, every attack on us by the enemy is an attack on the life of Jesus in us. That’s what the devil seek to do. Jesus Christ’s honour is at stake in our bodily lives. Therefore, we need to remain faithful to the Son of God in everything that attacks His life in us.

The compelling purpose of God determines that we walk in a certain path God in His infinite wisdom has assigned to us. Sometimes that path may pass through Gethsemane. In there, grace compels us to, in absolute submission to God like Jesus say, "Not my will but thy will be done." The path may take us through fierce storms where the billows rage and the waves unfurl its fury at us. There also, grace compels us to look to Jesus, sleeping peacefully in the midst of the storm and find peace resting in Him. The path may take us through the fiery furnace of trials and affliction. Grace compels to look to Jesus, Who is our Companion in the troubled and challenging times, and assures us He will never abandon us or leave us alone.

In every season, each of us is in a unique time in life, in a unique place with unique talents and gifts to play our assigned part in God’s story. I believe that God has put me in a unique position in life to fulfil my unique role in God’s story. This unique role will require me to be shaped and fitted for the role. The storms, afflictions, pains and trials I pass through prepare me for that unique role in God’s eternal purpose. This is the compelling purpose for my life at every moment and season of my life.

God has a unique place for you in His story and as part of His eternal purpose. This is the compelling reason for every season of your life. When you submit to His will in each season, soon you will see how the seasons align to lead you to fulfilling your God-ordained destiny. Be assured that the grace of God is available to sustain you through the seasons of your life. Don’t give up in the season even when you don’t understand what it is all about. Rest and trust in God’s omniscience.

Feet Of Grace 2015 Charity Walk_Hit The Street For Their Feet:

Over the past three weeks, I have had to spend many days and several hours with my prosthetist. My prosthesis, the Feet of Grace, made just last year had become very tight and painful to walk in. I have gained back some of the 30kg I lost during the last 10years of my affliction. This experience was a shocking reminder of the situation of amputees in developing countries who have no access to prosthetists and for whom the cost of prosthetic limbs is prohibitive.

The prosthetists, our partners in Nigeria, the Irede Foundation is working with, are located in Enugu. This means that the amputees have to travel to Enugu twice. First time to have the measurements and moulding of stumps done. The prosthetic limbs are then fabricated and customized to fit the amputee. The second time is for fitting and learning how to walk with their new limbs, which requires a two-week stay in a city where they don’t know anybody. Caring for the amputee and one family member who is required to travel with them is included in the cost.

It was at this time; it dawned on me again how blessed I am. The cost of changing just the cup of my Feet of Grace is more that the cost of providing prosthetic limbs to two amputees. I live in Geneva, one of the most expensive cities in the world. God has my back, and He has been taking care of how my Feet of Grace is paid for. Secondly, it takes me 30-40 minutes to get to my prosthetist. I am blessed with a loving husband and great friends who take me for these often very long visits and stay with me without complaining. Lastly, I have a physiotherapist working with me on a weekly basis, helping me to become accustomed to walking with my Feet of Grace on all terrains, climbing slopes and staircases. That’s why I can contemplate a 5k Charity Walk in less than two years after amputation.

Chidi and Olivet do not have such privileges or opportunities. Without your support, they cannot regain their autonomy. But you and I have been positioned at this unique time to help these amputees to fulfil their unique roles in God’s story. Indeed, we have been blessed to bless. They are counting on our support.

Happy Easter from my family to yours. May the resurrection power be at work in your life through this season and beyond.

Once Upon A Time Of Feet And Painted Toenails_Part 2

This is the concluding part of Once Upon A Time Of Feet And Painted Toenails.

“You have a right to be angry.”

“With whom?” I queried in my heart, staring blankly over the shoulders of the Psychiatrist and her assistant standing by my bedside.

The doctors have done the audit. Nobody could explain what went wrong. There was no negligence reported or indicated. So who was I supposed to be angry with? God? I mused, still not saying a word.

“It is important to express your emotions. You can grieve about this. Talk to us.”

“I don’t have anything to say.” I looked straight at her and smiled. “I have asked all the questions I can ask the doctors about this.”

“What is the point of talking with you? What can you do for me? What comfort can you offer me?”

“I'm Ok. I am taking one day at a time.” I told her. They went on about my need to talk. They thought I was in denial. I even found out that they put me on a low dose of anti-depressant. They thought because I wasn’t talking to them I was depressed and not dealing with the issue. They asked the nurse who had known me the longest during my ten years of frequent sojourn on that ward to come and talk to me.

She tried. And I could see that she was visibly upset that I was not opening up to her. So I said to her, “J'ai décidé depuis longtemps que je ne jamais renouncer l’espoir. Mon espoir est à mon Dieu.” I made up my mind a long time ago that I will never give up on hope, and I was not going to start now. It was on that note that she left me alone.

I repeated the same to the Psychiatrist when she came back to see me, and begged her to stop the medication. I told her I did not need it. Hope is my anti-depressant. This was strictly between me and God. The doctors can’t answer the questions running all over my head. But God surely understands where I am coming from when I cry out to Him in the dead of the night when there was not one near to hear my cry.

I finally got myself to hold my stumps. I cradled them in my hands. I looked at what is left of my legs. Tears laced my eyes. I blinked them away. I will not cry, I told myself. Nothing prepares you for this. Not once in my almost 47 years before that day, did I ever imagine I could be at this phase of life as an amputee. It is at such times that you know you have to make an active and deliberate decision to tap into the grace of God that is readily available and sufficient sustain you.

Graham Kendrick's song, To You, O Lord I lift up my soul, from Psalm 25 floated back into my spirit. The lyrics ministered to me. 

No one whose hope is You will ever be put to shame.

That’s why my eyes are on You O Lord

Surround me, defend me

O how I need You

To You O Lord I lift up my soul

My hope is in God. I cannot be put to shame because God will defend me and surround me with His love and mercy. I will not be ashamed of my body. If I am not ashamed of me, then nobody can make me feel ashamed of my body. I will not play the victim. I will not, by the grace of God, be a subject of pity. If I keep my head and my spirit high, no one will be able to pity me or my situation.

The psychotherapist working with amputees came and sat with me several afternoons. She had tried to talk to me before the amputation. I was not ready to listen to what she had to say. And I refused to read the information materials. She was resilient. She did not push me to talk. She just wanted me to know that I have to deal with the change in my body image.

Let me note here, if you are ever with someone who has lost a limb, please don’t ever tell the person that there are many people living with missing limbs and doing great. “Why do I have to be one of them?” was my reaction. That is not what an amputee wants to hear, certainly not in the beginning when the person has to adjust emotionally to a body with conspicuously missing parts.

This lady waited until I was ready to talk about the change in my body. Then she supported me and my family to get all the information we needed to cope with our new definition of normal. Then, they arranged for us to watch a video of people living with amputation. We watched it as a family there in the hospital. We were able to ask more questions. It helped us a family to do this together.

But none of these prepared me for the day, I was going to have my first fitting with the prosthetic limbs. I sat on my wheelchair in the open waiting room. It was summer. Every single lady who walked past me on the corridor was wearing dainty slippers showing off their beautifully manicured toenails. It felt like an orchestrated parade to taunt me. I felt as if the enemy was flashing in my face what I had lost and would not be able to do again. Pain and grief welled up from within me. My slippers at home flashed before my sight.

Tears laced my eyes again. I blinked them off. I will not cry here. No, I will not!

A few days earlier, I had struggled with my emotions as the physiotherapist told me that my new feet were to be customized to a fixed angle which will allow me to wear only shoes only 2-3cm high. They strongly recommended sneakers for security as it would clad the entire foot and help me to maintain my balance.

“What? Only one type of shoes every day?” I screamed at them. “That is not possible. I can’t wear sneakers seven days of the week!” They explained to me why I needed to wear shoes with sturdy and broad heels.

“It is for your safety. You have to maintain your balance. You must not fall.”

I am a Yoruba woman. Who wears sneakers with wrappers and long skirts? What was I going to do with all my shoes? I simply refused to accept sneakers as an option. They refused to accept my low-heeled pumps because they were not completely covered, and my feet could slip out of them. Finally, they agreed to the pair of shoes I used on field trips and visits to communities when I was working with UNICEF. They were completely covered with a zipper but 4cm high. They customized my feet for this shoes. This was my only pair of shoes for months. Much later, we went to shops with measuring tape until my husband found me broad-heeled shoes with the same height and a bit dressier.

I shared in Make The Next Move Forward  what it was like the first day I tried on my prosthetic limbs.

I knew I had to let go of my shoes. It would be a torture to keep them. Why keep them and moan over them if they can be a blessing to others? So when I got back home from the hospital, I brought all my shoes out. I had a farewell party with them. I gave thanks to God for the joy of having them and asked God to make them a blessing to all those who would wear them for me. We bagged the shoes, many of them with their bags, and with joy and peace in my heart, I released them to go to my friends. I pleaded with a number of them to wear them for me. But I could not let go of my oldest pair of shoes—my first set of purple shoes. That remains a memento of the days of passion for shoes.

I went in search of photographs of my legs, only to find that most of the time, my legs were covered in long skirts, trousers and wrappers. Those in which I was wearing short skirts were not showing my legs or painted toenails. Who goes out of their way to take photographs of their legs and painted toenails? Then, I found the photograph taken at my first son’s high school graduation. It turned out to be the best picture of my old legs. It was a gift from God. He knew I needed to see those legs again in their former glory. The last time I saw them as such was when I stood up and changed into the theatre gown before my lungs transplantation. It was also the last time I stood on them.

I perused every detail of my legs. But rather than be sorrowful, my heart lifted with joy. I bless God for every single step I took with those legs. I blessed Him for all the opportunities He gave me to go places with them. I thank God for the time I had with them. They have fulfilled their assignment and have gone home ahead of me. The season of painted toenails and dainty slippers was over. It was great fun while it lasted. Like a dear sister wrote to me, there await me a glorious pair of legs when I get to heaven.

For the rest of my stay here on earth, God has provided me with the Feet of Grace that will take me to places beyond my imagination and to where my natural feet could not have taken me, just as He promised. He has given me the tools I need to fulfil my assignment and the purpose for which He called me. So I wear my Feet of Grace with grace and head lifted high to the glory of God.

Feet of Grace 2015 Charity Walk_Hit The Street For Their Feet:

Join me / Support me to walk 5km to raise funds for amputees that they may walk again.

Know Your God_Part 1

Although 2015 is now two weeks old, it is with great joy that I wish you a happy and prosperous year filled with God’s rich and abounding blessings for you and your precious ones.

There are still three hundred and fifty days left of 2015, and we are still standing at the brink of the unknown. The year is pretty much unknown to us because we do not know what lies ahead of us. However, knowing the One Who has already known the end from the beginning and Who has seen December 31^st, 2015 right from January 1^st, will be critically important for how we live our lives in 2015. It will determine how we will fulfil God’s purposes for our lives.

Let’s examine the lives of two persons recorded in the Bible who stood at the brink of the unknown and the uncertain. We will benefit from the study of their lives and how they respond at such a time when they did not know what laid ahead of them.

The first example is Abraham:

He knew God and was fully persuaded of the truth of God's word. In Genesis 12, we learnt that God instructed him to leave his country, his family and his father’s home to a land that He will show him. So Abram departed as the Lord had directed him (vs. 4). Abraham heard the voice of God. He recognised the voice God. He received God’s instructions. He acted promptly. He did not question God. He did not know what was ahead. He simply obeyed by leaving. He walked into the unknown and the uncertain solely on God’s instructions. He did as he was told because he had a knowledge of the One Who told him.

“By faith Abraham, when he was called, he obeyed and went forth to a place which he was destined to receive as an inheritance, although he did not know … where he was to go.” (AMP).

“By an act of faith, Abraham said yes to God’s call to travel to an unknown place that would become his home. When he left, he had no idea where he was going…. “(MSG)- Hebrews 11: 8-10

Another person, who took a step into the unknown on the basis of her knowledge of God, is Ruth:

She came from an idol worshiping culture. She got married into a household where they knew and served God. She was barren, and as if that was not bad enough, she became a childless widow within a household where they served God. She was a witness to the fierce storms that devastated Naomi’s whole life without any apparent intervention by God (Ruth 1).

“…No, my daughters; it is far more bitter for me than for you that the hand of God is gone out against me.” (AMP).

“Things are far more bitter for me than for you, because the Lord Himself has raised His fist against me.” (NLT). - Ruth 1: 13b

Yet Ruth chose God even when she didn’t know what laid ahead of her in Bethlehem. Her response to Naomi’s persistent plea for her to go back to her people was “Don’t ask me to leave you and turn back. Wherever you go, I will go; wherever you live; I will live. Your people will be my people and your God will be my God.”

I strongly believe that she had come to know something about God that was strong, personal and true enough to override Naomi’s assessment of God as the One who had dealt her a bad hand. What kind of person would choose a God who her mentor in the faith declared has dealt badly with her but the person who has come to know that God differently and experienced Him in a way beyond what her current circumstances dictates.

She chose the true God to be her God and follow her mother-in-law into the unknown on the strength of what she had come to learn about God. Ruth showed me that we need to have a personal revelation of God to remain focussed on God when someone we look up to in the faith appear to give up on God or disappoints us.

There is something peculiar about people who know their God. This was illustrated in Daniel 11.

“And such as do wickedly against the covenant shall he corrupt by flatteries: but the people that do know their God shall be strong, and do exploits. And they that understand among the people shall instruct many: yet they shall fall by the sword, and by flame, by captivity, and by spoil, many days.”

 - Daniel 11: 32b – 33a (KJV)

Antiochus IV Epiphanes nicknamed “the madman” vented his fury against the Israelites and the Holy Covenant, and he abolished daily sacrifices. He desecrated the temple in Jerusalem. His army killed many people in Jerusalem, took many women and children as slaves and plundered the land. He forbade the Jews to practice their religion. He persuaded them through flattery to worship false gods.

 

In the midst of all the turmoil, a handful remained faithful to God. This small remnant who knew their God refused to engage in the abominable practices. The Amplified Bible noted that they proved themselves strong and stood firm and did exploit for God. They instructed many more in the way of the Lord despite the fact that they were persecuted and martyred for the faith.

"But the testing will refine, cleanse and purify those who remain strong and true to the faith, that is, those who know their God."

It is important to note here that not only do those who know their God stand strong at the brink of the unknown, they also stand strong when faced with trials, persecutions, difficulties, and challenging situation. These people knew God as the true God and they acknowledge Him as such. They not only profess Him but they also served and worshiped Him. They held fast to the faith in the midst of opposition, deception and disappointments. They endured against all threatening.

In the midst of the chaos and problems in the world around us, God has obligated Himself to us by promising that 2015 shall be our year of divine establishment. We have the assurance that God will establish us in His counsel and in the fullness of His purpose for our lives. We will need to know this God Who made such great promises to us intimately.

Dear Friends, we need to have a personal revelation of God when we face the unknown. We need an intimate relationship with the Almighty God if we are going to have a victorious walk in 2015. Who is this great God that we need to know and have a personal revelation of? What does it mean to truly know Him? What are the benefits of having a growing knowledge of God? We will examine these questions in the next post.

May the grace of God abound to you richly as you walk with the Lord in this New Year.

This blogpost is adapted from the Sermon I preached in Church on Sunday, January 11th, 2015.

To Share Or Not To Share: Part 2

First of all, let me apologize for my absence from this space for the past two weeks. I had many balls to juggle in the air. I cannot complain because it has been my prayer to be gainfully engaged but I did not anticipate the overwhelming volume of things that would daily demand my urgent attention. I learnt to commit my arm-long list of things-to-do to God each day in prayer and keep my focus on His agenda.

This blog refused to be written in a hurry. When I started the discussion three weeks ago, I did not expect the volume and seriousness of the response it would generate. I am very grateful to all those who responded both on the blog and by email. Thank you very much for your contributions. They were insightful.

There were many viewpoints provided and a number of issues highlighted. It appeared that this is an issue that many couples are struggling with. Also, I got some feedback that were personal and required some counselling. It was at this point that I decided to go back to the Lord in prayer. I needed His leading and guidance to address this issue and in particular to give the right counsel to those who presented personal situation.

Pooling together all the contributions I received, with a further study of the Word and vast literature available on the subject, I would like to address this issue from three premises:

1.       God’s plan and desire for marriage.

2.       What secrets, lies and withholding information does to the relationship.

3.       Instances when discretion and sound judgment is required.

God’s plan and desire for marriage:

We can glean from Genesis 2: 24 – 25 that God desired for a man to be united to his wife and for the two to become one flesh. Then, we note that the two were both naked and they felt no shame: “they were not ashamed.” That is, not embarrassed in each other’s presence

We can conclude from these two verses and many others that referred to it in the New Testament, that God’s will is for husband and wife to be in spiritual and functional unity, walking in integrity and serving God together. “The biblical concept of marriage is an oneness between two individuals that pictures the oneness of Christ with His church.  When this harmony, unity and oneness is operative, the entire society prospers under the hand of God” (1).

Both the husband and the wife are expected to supply what the other lack so that they can become truly one flesh in complete unity, complementing each other.

“Nakedness suggests that they were at ease with each other without any fear of exploitation”

– Bible Knowledge Commentary.

This is the degree of fellowship that God intended for marriage, where there is no fear of exploitation or a potential for evil to be done to one another, but a depth of trust which indicates that they will both act in the best interest of each other. Anything that will cause a couple not to be at ease and open to each other has the potential to destabilize the unity and harmony God intends for them to share.

True friends should not feel the need to hide what they are doing from each other. “And the Lord said, shall I hide from Abraham that which I do?” (Gen. 18:17). Abraham was a friend of God. True friends communicate freely with each other without fear. Husbands and wives should shared such an intimate relationship, which allows for free and open communication.

Openness is what God designed for marriage as they become one flesh. God’s desire is for husband and wife to have a marriage where secrets cannot have a foothold.

Secrets, lies and withholding information does and its effect on the relationship:

Surprises are great in a marriage once in a while but they are not likely to be a constant dynamics of the relationship. 

“Where transparency and trust are the forefront of a marriage, surprises should never be a problem” – Kate Aldrich (www.onefleshmarriage.com)

Secrets are those things you do not INTEND to tell your spouse. Secrets will keep us from connecting at a deeper level. Keeping secrets imply a certain level of “shadiness” that will limit openness in a relationship. Withholding information and keeping secrets can be counter-productive to growing an open, honest and healthy relationship. Once it becomes easy to keep “little secrets” it will not be long before we begin to keep big secrets, which would be detrimental to our marriage.

Sharing information should be a constant practice in trust and honesty. Open and honest communication is not only the best way to build a healthy relationship, it is the foundation of any healthy relationship. Indeed, trust and honesty are the backbones of a good relationship.

Secrecy robs the relationship of intimacy. It creates a gulf between the couple. The more you hide from each other, the more you turn away from each other, and the wider the gulf becomes. Even when physical intimacy appears to be ok or even great, emotional and spiritual intimacy becomes limited and strained.

-          How can you truly be one flesh with someone you cannot share your heart with, someone locked out of the some areas of your life?

-      How can you pray in unity with someone you are lying to or not telling the truth when asked?

What is the motive for not sharing? The crux of the matter is still WHY we are withholding information from each other.

-          Is it in the best interest of the other party?

-          Does it require lying or sidestepping the truth?

There should not be any sphere of our lives as a couple that is not accessible to the person we are one flesh with in a healthy marriage. That does not how mean that we don’t occasionally need our space or time alone, which is by mutual consent.

Instances when discretion and sound judgment is required:

I would like to share two Biblical stories as case studies of when discretion and sound judgment were exercised in the Bible with regard to sharing information.

Abigail:

The Bible noted in 1Samuel 25 that she was an intelligent and beautiful woman with good understanding. She was married to Nabal. Her husband was described as churlish, mean, wicked and evil in his doing. No one can talk to him – does what he wants to do regardless of the consequences. He was an ungrateful man, who could not show even the required societal courtesy. His wickedness put his family at a great risk.

When Abigail was informed of her husband’s action and the evil that has been determined against her household. Her reaction was spontaneous – she wasted no time to initiate remedial action (1Samuel 28:18). Note verse 19: “…But she did not tell her husband Nabal” what she was going to do. Wisdom dictated that she took action without her husband’s knowledge.

She pleaded and interceded for her unthinking and unwise husband, and her entire household. She also prevented David from having on his conscience the burden of needless bloodshed. After she had succeeded in averting evil from her household, she went to her husband to tell him. Here again, she exercised discretion and wisdom by waiting for the right time, she told him nothing because he was drunk. She waited until morning when he had become sober, and she told him ALL that had happened.

She did not lie to her husband about the events that took place neither did she withhold the information from him. But knowing the kind of man her husband was, she managed the situation with discretion, good judgment and wisdom. At the appropriate time she told him everything.

There are still men and women who don’t listen to others and only do what they want to do even to the extent of putting their families at risk. If you are married to such a person how can you exercise discretion in managing sensitive situations in your relationship without telling lies and being dishonest with your spouse?

When crisis thrusts itself on us, we need to take a tight rein on ourselves and let the Holy Spirit guide. I believe we should not depend on our own reasoning to deal with such a situation but on God’s grace and help, and expect His grace to work on our behalf. We can also seek counsel from respected Christians.

Abraham (Genesis 22):

Abraham and Sarah waited 25 years for Isaac, the child of promise, to be born. Then, God tested Abraham by asking him to sacrifice his only son whom he loved on a mountain he was to be shown. The Bible recorded that early the next morning Abraham got up and saddled his donkey and took his servants and his son with him on the journey. His response was instant and of unquestioning obedience.

The question as raised by some of the contributors to this discussion was; did Abraham consult with Sarah overnight and told her about God’s instruction? Obviously the answer is a resounding NO! I don’t believe that Sarah or any woman for that matter would have willingly given up a child, she waited so long for without a strong argument.

But Abraham knew God as a covenant keeping God. He knew that in matters concerning God’s clear instructions, he could not consult with flesh and blood but simply to act in quiet submissive obedience.

I learnt from this story that there will be instances when we cannot consult with flesh and blood when God gives a clear instruction that requires our submissive obedience. I believe that under such circumstances God’s grace will also be available to the spouse to understand why such obedience is required and be supportive of it.

Some other highlights from the feedback:

-          While transparency is important, a couple may need to exercise discretion in sharing something a third party had shared in confidence. When this is shared between the couple, it should be only for the purpose of praying and not for discussion with another person.

-          God said that two is better than one. It is important that couples should make decisions about issues that concerns their lives together.

-          Keeping secrets from our spouse erodes confidence and creates opportunities for suspicion and distrust.

God is a God of knowledge, by Him are actions weighed. He knows us inside out and He know the motive behind all we do. We will account to Him for all our actions. It is possible to take remedial actions when we have not acted right, but first seek God’s face and guidance, and possibly godly counsel.

Today’s post has been long and extensive in the bid to cover as much angle as possible on this subject. I pray that you will all experience the true oneness that God designed for your marriage and trust that it will enrich your relationship.

1.       http://www.studymode.com/essays/Anthropology-Marriage-And-Divorce-1007854.html

Always With A Smile

Always With A Smile: A Testimony of God's Faithfulness.

"Toujours avec sourire" the nurse exclaimed as I was wheeled back into the ward.

"She has every reason to be. It is amazing how much improvement she has made," replied the physiotherapist pushing me on the wheelchair.

When my specialist proposed a six-minute march test as part of the intensive checkup, one year post lung surgery, several members of the medical team thought that was asking for too much. The lead physiotherapist said, "let her try, she can stop if she can't do it."

Try I did, and I completed 300 meters in the required 6 minutes using one cane, while maintaining oxygen saturation at 99% and a stable heart rate.

"Incroyable! C'est genial," exclaimed the Physiotherapist who conducted the test. “It is incredible,” she kept repeating in French.

It was the fourth and last day of my stay in the hospital. It was exactly one year since I have the life-threatening surgery with the ensuing complications, which resulted in another surgery, this time life-changing. I had to do a battery of tests, examinations and consultations in the course of the four days. they pratically left no cell or system unchecked. It was overwhelming and left me no time for rest.

The good news was that all of them came back with positive results confirming what God had already perfected. Only one indicated a need for improvement in my Calcium and Vitamin D status. The doctor gave me an earful of lecture about the importance of adequate calcium to prevent osteoporosis. "Noted," I responded, my face radiating with a wide smile. She probably was wondering what was funny. “I mean, this is serious business” was written all over her face. What she did not know was that she was giving a Nutrition lecture to a Nutrition Specialist. But more importantly, I was overflowing with exhilarating joy, because this was the only issue that needed attention, it had been one good report after the other.

Why won't I be full of thanks and smile, with all God has done for me and all He delivered me from? I will be an ingrate if I am any less joyful. I know where we were at this time last April but better to say, I know what they later told me was happening at this time. I was not conscious of anything until a month later.

“He that is capable of deep and reflective reasoning will be full of thanks.”

One of the nurses said she was covered with goose pimples watching what I am able to do now and how I have regained my autonomy, and as she heard me giving praise and thanks to God for all He has done in my life. 

But wasn't that what the Bible says:

Matthew 9:8 - following the healing of the paralytic.
"And he got up and went home. But when the crowds saw this, they were awestruck, and glorified God, who had given such authority to men."

Matthew 15:31
"The people were amazed when they saw the mute speaking, the crippled made well, the lame walking and the blind seeing. And they praised the God of Israel."

Indeed, the doings of God in our lives will cause men to be awestruck, astonished, and amazed such that they will give praise and glory to God on our behalf.

This was not the first time I was going to hear that expression, "Always with a smile or She is always smiling." Through the thick of the storm last year and indeed, throughout my 10-year sojourn on 8CL, the 8th floor ward of HUG (Hopital Universaire de Geneve), this has been the constant remark from the nurses and medical staff that took care of me. It was a constant source of amazement to many of them: "how does anyone in her situation keep smiling?"

I lost count of the number of times I heard them saying to my hearing, “she is always smiling.”  I lost count of the number of times, medical personnel exclaimed with amazement at the remarkable progress I had made and my composure through it all.

Truly, it is by the grace of God that we can keep smiling through the storm. It is because we know that the one Who holds us in the palm of His hands is the same One Who can bid the storm, "peace, be still."

It is also a conscious decision to remind oneself that it is by the mighty hands of God we are kept, day by day, come what may. It comes from that assurance of faith that God will never abandon or forsake or fail us. Yes, we can keep smiling through the storm when God is the hope that we cling to.

We also know that before Jesus was glorified, He was crucified. He suffered the shame of the cross. His glory came out of His sacrificial death. Yet He did not complain. Like a rose, trampled in the ground, He took the fall. He thought of me above all.

And because He rose up again and He lives, I can face tomorrow, all my fears are gone. Life is worthy living and enjoying because Jesus lives. Certainly, with such a glorious hope as this, we can smile come what may and in whatever circumstances we may find ourselves because God’s plans for us remains unchanged.

May the hope that comes with the resurrection of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ fill your hearts and home with much joy this Easter. May this hope bring you the assurance that the promises of God concerning you shall be fulfilled. 

Happy Easter.

To Share or Not To Share

In today’s blog post, I want to initiate a discussion, which I hope all my readers will be willing to contribute to. I will pose a number of questions to guide this discussion.

Recently, I planned a surprise party to celebrate my husband’s 50^th birthday. In order to keep the surprise element, I had to do a number of things behind his back, withhold important information and limit what I shared with him.

This was the most difficult part of the process. There were many times that I had engaged in discussions with many of his old friends, especially those he had been out of touch with, in search of information about his days in the university. In my usual practice, I would download my entire day including conversations I had to him at the end of the day, when we are together. But during this period, I had to exercise extreme caution not to share this information with him.

I guarded my cell phone as if my life depended on it. It is not unusual for him to pick my phone when it rings and answer it for me or read out incoming text messages to me. It was an edgy, stand-on-the-toes period for me. I felt very bad on a number of occasions that I could not share important information with him. There was once he was worried that he had not heard from his longest friend despite trying to reach him a few times. I had spoken to the friend, and knew what was going on at his end but could not offer any reassurance to my husband as I would have had to explain why I could reach his friend and he could not. Some of our friends had limited contact with him so as not to accidentally divulge information about the event.

There was another occasion when I was alone at home and needed to go out to make arrangements for the venue of the event. At that time, I needed some assistance to get ready if I had to go out. My house is on multiple levels and I required support moving from one level to the other. I had arranged for a friend to take me out. I managed to get ready by myself and went out to meet my friend. It was the first time I would leave the house without any assistance getting ready after a long period of time, and I could not share this joy with him when I spoke to him later in the day. That was difficult.

For some time, communication was strained and tense. I was not spontaneous as I normally would be in sharing information. I was too guarded. I knew he was aware that I was up to something and definitely would plan an event to celebrate his birthday, but I also knew he would wonder how I was going to do it when I could not go out on my own and there was no movement in the family account.

This scenario I described above did not pose any serious threat to our relationship, but this as well as other situations that I have been privy to in the past, got me thinking about the following:

•  To what extent should a couple withhold information from each other?
•  Under what circumstances can a couple refrain from sharing information with each other?
•  How do you maintain openness, transparency and communion in a relationship when a couple keep secrets from each other?
•  In what ways would withholding information from your spouse provide grounds for lying or sidestepping the truth?
• How do you tell the truth or share information when you know that it may grieve the person you are in relationship with?
• How important is information sharing in promoting trust and honesty between a couple?
• What should you share and what should you not share?
• When the Bible says that the two shall become one, does this imply sharing everything?
• Even when our intentions are good and we are trying to protect the other party in the relationship, how would they feel if they eventually find out the truth?
• What are the things that can erode trust in a relationship?

I have heard that the truth will always come out no matter how long it takes. If this be the case, what good does it serve to withhold the truth from the significant people that we are in relationship with?

Luke 8:17 says “For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed (revealed), and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open,” what is the implication of this verse for those in a relationship?

I am not being naive. I know people who have found themselves in very difficult relationships where they have learnt to be guarded in what they share with their spouses as a coping mechanism. Neither am I after proposing an unnecessary argument or debate. However, I believe that there is something to discuss here that we all can learn from and thereby enrich our relationships.

My plan is to pool together salient points from your responses and prepare a blog post on this subject which I pray will help someone at a crossroad of decision making. 

Please do share your thoughts on this subject in the comment box below. 

The Confidence Of Hope And Great Expectations

Right from the beginning of 2014, I knew without an iota of doubt that the year is going to be eventful in many ways. As I noted in my first post this year, it is a year marked with significant events in our nuclear and extended family. It is a year in which we are confident that we will see the manifestation of God’s supernatural grace, and many celebrations of growth, promotion, completion and expansion. Things have been rapidly unfolding over the past eight weeks of 2014 to indicate that we have not even seen the tip of the iceberg, in terms of what God has in stock for us this year.

Indeed, I entered the year with mind-boggling expectations. This page is insufficient to enumerate the magnitude of the things I am trusting God for this year. These words have been constant in my mind, “Prepare the ditches, for you shall neither see the rain nor hear the wind, yet the valley shall the filled with water” (2Kings 3:16-17).

I participated in the All-Night Prayer meeting held in my church at the end of January. It was the first time I was able to do so after many years. I left that meeting elated, high in the spirit and so full of confidence in the ability of God to bring to pass every promise and prophetic word, He has given us for this year. An inexplicable peace enveloped me and my heart was at rest. Honestly, I am overwhelmed at the amazing things I see God set in motion on our behalf during this month, the awesome ways in which He is performing His wonders in our lives.

There is nothing like having hope fanned to flame. Hope that refuses to waver or stagger at the enormity of the promise in the face of contrary circumstances.

“I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living” (Ps 27:13) – this is an example of kind of confident hope and great expectation I am trying to describe. David would have fainted and despaired if he did not have this confidence of hope. Such was the confidence that he had in God that he rejoiced in the prospect of waiting for the Lord. He was confident that inspite of the contrary evidences, he would remain alive to see God’s goodness and blessing.

There are many examples in the Bible of how David strengthened himself in the Lord in times of calamities and troubles. He knew the God he served. He knew God’s ability to deliver in times of trouble. And because of the depth of his knowledge of God, he could remain confident in hope.

There is a vital connection between faith and hope. Our faith must be anchored on knowing Who God is and Who He says He is. This becomes the basis for the confidence of our hope in God. Hope anticipates the reality of what God is saying, and the fulfillment of His promises, when we are in agreement with His word by faith. Hope is the proof of the faith we have in God. Hope disappears when our faith wanes because of we do not rightly understand who God is and what God is able to do.

God is a hope worth clinging to. In fact, there is nothing else worth clinging to in the time of storms and trials, or at any time for that matter, than God. I put my hope in God because I have an expectation that He will do what He says He will do. Therefore, my faith is based on the revelation of who God says He is according to His Word and the foundation for the confidence of my hope is firmly rooted in my knowledge of God.

Faith gives life to hope and hope strengthens our faith - Greg Simas

I am so persuaded that this is a year of the manifestation of God’s supernatural and exceptional miracles in our lives as individuals and as a family. I am confident that it is a year in which we will also do great exploits for God and for the Kingdom. I am not being presumptuous, my confidence is based on the God’s word and His promises.

There is surely a future hope for us according to the Word of God, and our expectation shall not be cut off (Proverb 23:18). This is because our expectation is driven and motivated by faith in God. Faith that is grounded on the revelation of who we know God is and on the ability of God.

As children of God, we have every right in Christ Jesus to expect a great tomorrow and a bright future even if our current situation is in conflict with that expectation. God’s thoughts towards us are thoughts of good. His plan is to give us a hope, a future and an expected end (Jeremiah 11:11).

There will be times when it will be difficult for us to wrap our minds around the magnitude of the things we are believing God for based on His unfailing promises and the Word He has given us. It can be so astonishing that like Mary, we will say, “how can this be?”

The woman with the issue of blood had an expectation driven by faith. She came from behind and pushed towards Jesus. She had just one expectation, just one hope: “if I touch the hem of His garment, I will be made whole” (Matthew 9: 20-21). Her faith was grounded on her knowledge of Jesus based on what she heard about Him. That knowledge supporting her faith, fuelled her expectation and made her confident in hope. There was no doubt that this woman was confident of what would happen when she gets to touch Jesus. The confidence of her hope gave her the impetus to push against the crowd all the way from the back until she got close enough to touch Jesus.

When our expectation is driven by faith, it is guaranteed to produce the right results which in turn helps our faith to grow and achieve its goal. A confident and relentless hope is the evidence of such faith.

“Our faith is based upon what the word of God reveals to us about Who God is, what He has done before and what He has promised to do now and in the future.”

Our hope must be founded on the truths presented to us in the Word of God. We can have such a great expectation even when our current circumstances makes our optimism unrealistic. Our great expectation is intricately woven to the depth of our knowledge of God, which propels our faith and trust in God. And it must be grounded in the unfailing love of God revealed in Jesus Christ and sealed in our hearts by the Holy Spirit (Romans 5:5). It is by the grace of God and because of His love for us that we have been given this eternal encouragement and good hope (2Thess 2:16).

“Against all evidence to the contrary, Abraham, didn't simply hope. 
He believed in hope." - Christa Allan. 

Dear Friends, we too can learn to believe that against all hope, God can best display His glory and power in our lives. Hope makes us relentless in the pursuit of our dreams, desires and goals. It makes us relentless in the pursuit of God and in knowing more of Him.

We have an ever-living hope

A hope of which we can boast

A hope that does not disappoint

A hope that does not make us ashamed

A hope that is anchored on the infallibility of God

On His unfailing faithfulness.

It is this confidence of hope that informs my great expectations. And this is what I commend to you today. You are blessed beyond measures.

Be Prepared

At the close of 2013, I found myself reviewing previous posts on this blog and in the process discovered that I wrote two blog posts with exactly the same title: "And It Came To Pass." The first was on the 6th of December, 2012 and the second a year later, on the 20th of December, 2013. 

Reading these post over again gave me great assurance and confidence that God is a covenant keeping and promise fulfilling God. And I can rest secured in His unfailing love in 2014.

As we begin 2014, I am pregnant with hope and full of great expectations for the year. It is a year of accomplishing and celebrating many key milestones within my nuclear and extended family: 10th and 21st wedding anniversaries, 20th, 50th, 70th and 75th birthdays. It is a year of seeing the manifestation of answers to prayers. And of the fulfillment of dreams and desires.

We have great expectations and outlook for 2014, being persuaded as a family that we will celebrate growth, expansion, promotions and see the Lord expand our coast beyond our wildest imagination. We receive from God the grace to do great exploits for Him and for the Kingdom this year. And we will enter into the doors of opportunities He will open to us.

Physically, at this point in time, we are at the position where like Mary, we can only say "How can this be since ….?" (Luke 1:34). Like Abraham, we also say, "Lord God, by what shall I know that I shall inherit it?” (Gen 15:8). And like Zechariah, the question is “How can I be sure of this?” (Luke 1:18). How shall it possibly come to pass, all these dreams, visions and heart desires? By what shall we know that we shall accomplish these great things? Humanly speaking, it is mind-boggling just to consider the enormity of God’s promises to us and our dreams and desires.

Our hope and assurance is anchored on the unfailing promises of God. It premised on the experience we have in seeing God fulfill His Word in our lives. If we go by all He did for us in 2013, we have very strong reasons to rest and rely on Him to accomplish all He promises for us in 2014 and all our righteous desires anchored on His promises.

We know for a truth and by experience that God is a covenant keeping God. He will not go back on His Word. He will not renege on His promises. Faithful is He Who has promised, at the appointed time, He will do just what He said He will do. This is a non-negotiable and solid truth that we can go to bank with!

Given this hope and assurance, we can begin to prepare to possess our possessions as we step into 2014. Right from day one, we prepare like an expectant mother for the birth of what we have conceived by faith in God.

What are we preparing for and how?

Be prepared to depend on God’s strength and grace:

It is by the grace and enablement of God that we will be able to do great exploits in 2014 because the race is not to the swift.

"I have observed something else under the sun. The fastest runner doesn't always win the race, and the strongest warrior doesn't always win the battle. The wise sometimes go hungry, and the skillful are not necessarily wealthy. And those who are educated don't always lead successful lives. It is all decided by chance, by being in the right place at the right time" - Eccles 9:11 (NLT).

It is not by power or by might. But it shall be by the abounding grace of God so that He only can take all the glory. We cannot depend on our own strength or skills or hard work but trust and depend on the grace and strength of God. For it is the Lord Who gives us the ability to make wealth and to be successful. He does this so that He may accomplish the covenant which He swore to our fathers of old (Deut. 8:18). It is by the wisdom He gives that we will do the extraordinary. We must with all our might use all the opportunities God provides for us.

Be prepared to do your part:

"Make this valley full of ditches...."(2Kings 3:16), that’s what Elisha said to Jehoshaphat and the two Kings with him. They needed water and victory in the battle they were about to embark on against the King of Moab. To try their faith and obedience, Elisha commanded them to make the valley full of pits to receive water. You have an action to take in anticipation of God’s intervention—prepare to receive the miracle. So they dug the ditches. We have a part to play for us to see the accomplishment of God's promise in our lives. This requires that we listen attentively to God and follow His leading and instruction. We are not to sit idle with our hands crossed across our chests. Those who expect God's blessings, must dig pools for the rain to fill. Not only did they receive the water through God’s intervention, the same valley flowing with water was used to bring them victory over the Moabities.

During our family Bible Study time recently, we shared many examples of such obedient following of God’s instructions in preparation to receive the victory, deliverance and provision God has promised. The felling of the walls of Jericho and the provision for the dead Prophet’s wife and children are some of these examples.

Dear Friends, whatever you are trusting and looking up to God for in 2014, it is a light thing for God to do. So be prepared to receive them. Be prepared to walk in the fullness of God’s purpose and counsel for your lives. I know from my experience of God and from the Bible that if God has given you His Word, the sequel to the story of your life can only be: "and it came to pass."

I will continue this blog post next week, so watch out for Part 2.

I pray that God will bless you with abounding grace to do great exploits for His Kingdom in 2014.

Happy New Year to you and your family.