An Unusual Instruction

October is my birth month. A few years ago, I resolved to do something different during the month to enhance my relationship with God—devoting more attention to dwelling in the presence of God. A personal retreat—sometimes through extended period of praise and worship or a deeper and extended study of the Bible.

Last September, I started a 100-day Ministering Gratitude to God based on Ps. 119:164. So I assumed this was what God would want me to do during October but on October 3^rd, God laid the message below on my heart.

“Write as an offering of praise and thanksgiving to Me.”

This was an unusual instruction. I was at a critical point in writing my book, which has been protracted for a long time. In September, God gave me a renewed resolve to complete this assignment. I was also at a crossroad in deciding how to divide my time between writing, beading (for income-generation) and the other activities demanding my attention. I had also just done a study of Leviticus; I understood from there that the offering we bring to God must be carefully considered and prepared, wholesome, choice and without defect. God deserves the best we can offer. So I needed to understand what God is asking of me.

How do I write as an offering of praise and thanksgiving to God?

I pondered on this question and posed the same to my husband as I sought his help in understanding this instruction. His response was that it is not about the quantity of time I spend writing but it is about my heart and motive. This helped me somewhat to address the conflict in my heart regarding spending time writing, and my desire to generate income by devoting attention to my beading business.

An Offering of Praise and Thanksgiving:

True offering of praise and thanksgiving must be in response to the works of God in our lives, that is, a spontaneous acknowledgement of the benefits we enjoy from God. True offering is expression of thankfulness, in obedience to God’s word, and with reliant prayer—relying on God to provide sufficient for our needs. It is an act of worship—giving to God the honour due to Him.

A sacrifice of praise is the fruit of lips that thankfully acknowledge, confess and glorify God’s name (Hebrews 13:15-16). It is to be offered constantly and at all times, in proclamation of the power and might of God (Ps 68:34), with genuine trust in God, and with joy (Ps 27:6).

An offering of praise cannot be acceptable to God if it is offered with wilful disobedience in our lives (Hosea 14:2), compromise in our relationships, and corruptions in our speech (Leviticus 1:3).

 It has to be purposeful.  Not an empty ritualistic sacrifice. It has to be from the heart with reverence and awe of God. I am not doing God a favour bringing an offering of praise and thanks to Him. He is not dependent on my offering but He demands my heart—my motive must be to please God, to pay homage due to Him and to acknowledge His goodness. Therefore, my offering of praise must  continually spring from a thankful heart. It is confessing who God really is to me. A sacrifice of praise and thanks offered out of a sincere heart is acceptable to God.

We have been called to offer our bodies as a living sacrifice to God. We are also admonished that in all we do, we must do as unto God. It therefore means that my whole life must be an offering of praise to God. My writing is just an aspect of this.

Writing as an Offering of Praise and Thanksgiving:

I have no inkling of doubt that Writing is a ministry God called me to do. The ability to create with words is a God-given gift, which I am called to use for His glory. In understanding God’s instructions to write as an offering, I came to know that it applies to all my writings—the book and my blog are just channels through which I share the messages in my heart by the leading of the Holy Spirit, to inspire hope and encourage people.

It therefore means that I have to write with the following guiding principles:

-          In obedience to God. Whether in writing the book or writing the messages on the blog, it must be in response to the leading of God.

-          My writing has to be motivated by an appreciation of what God has done in my life. I must write with a grateful heart acknowledging God’s immerse goodness to me.

-          It has to be with compassion and sensitivity, and in response to the suffering of others. Therefore, I cannot write with calluses and hardness in my heart.

-          It will sometimes be at a cost. David said that he will not offer to God that which cost him nothing (2 Sam 24:4).

-          I will have to trust and depend on God to take care of my needs.

The last two posts on the blog “We Call, He Answers And He Reveals" and “Scars, Calluses And Hardness In The Heart" were the two toughest blog posts I have written since I started blogging. The decision to write these posts was very difficult.  Second only to the decision to be willing to share my personal life including my pains, trials, struggles and afflictions publicly on the blog, fully aware that it will not only make me vulnerable but also put my life and my family on display. And I had decided a long time ago never to be a subject of pity.

It was also challenging because I was calling not only myself but others to be vulnerable—be willing to open their pains and hurts up for healing, and to be willing to admit that there are scars, calluses and hardness in their hearts. And to willingly let go of those who have hurt and offended them. In sharing these hard truths, I was taking a risk as these persons may distant themselves from me in a reaction to this post. Following God’s leading had to come first before any other consideration if my writing is to be a sacrifice of praise to God.

Since I cannot exceed the truth in expressing the goodness of God, my offering therefore is genuine when it is about God's goodness. When this forms the foundation of my writing—the truth of God’s goodness—it makes my writing sincere and genuine.

It was, therefore, a joy on Monday, October 27^th to read “Six tips For Christian Bloggers/Writers" on Imperfectly Perfect Lives.  It confirmed God’s instructions to me.

Unforgiveness, Holding to Hurts and an Offering of Praise: 

As soon as I wrote the above caption, I realised that unforgiveness and offering of praise to God cannot co-habit—the two words simply don’t go together in the same phrase.

The Bible says in Matthew 5:23-24:

“Therefore if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering.…”

From the foregoing, only reconciliation and forgiveness can co-habit with genuine offering of praise that is acceptable to God. Nothing else we do matters as long as we are harbouring unforgiveness, anger and malice, and holding someone—perhaps a child of God created in God’s image—bound in the prison of our hearts.

Simply put, our offering of praise cannot be acceptable to God if it is coming from an unforgiving and harden heart. We cannot truly offer praise with sincerity and in obedience to God out with unforgiveness in our hearts.

It means that I can forgive those who hurt me and be the first to make a move towards reconciliation and restoring a broken relationship as an acknowledgement and appreciation of the undeserved mercy God has shown to me. Though, it is never easy to let go of hurts and pain but when done in obedience to God, it becomes a sacrificial offering acceptable to God.

I received a novel titled, Burning Hurt, from a dear Sista in Nigeria last weekend. I read the book in five hours. It was the fastest I have ever read a book. Written by Unyime-Ivy King, Burning Hurt, confirmed to me in strong terms that hurting people hurt others and that we have to forgive to be free. We have to forgive to offer an acceptable sacrifice of praise to God.

In concluding this post, I want you to know that God loves the sinner but He hates sin. I am created to reflect the image of God, therefore like God, I can separate the offender from the offense, and give the offender a gift of mercy and forgiveness as an offering of praise to God. This way, I can deal with the suggestion that I am giving the offender a free-pass. It also means that I trust God to act on my behalf and vindicate me. Since Jesus, our Senior Advocate, has never lost a case we can assured that He will act in our best interest.

My dear Friends, you can stand on this truth.

God deserves the best in everything we offer to Him. If we are to live our lives for His glory as a 

living sacrifice acceptable to Him then we have to offer God our best in everything we do, starting with our heart.

I have a clearer understanding of God’s instruction now. I can write, and indeed live my whole life, as an offering of praise to God. What about you? Would you consider making every aspect of your life an offering of praise to God?

Scars, Calluses and Hardness In The Heart

Today’s blog is a continuation of last week’s: We Call, He Answers, and He Reveals. The purpose of this post is to spur us to do a heart check as we call out to God and await His answer. Perhaps, that sincere search will reveal to us our need for an open-heart surgery by God. God reveals to redeem. He does not leave His children who earnestly call out to Him in darkness. In the glorious light of His presence, the eyes of our understanding is illuminated.

Scars and Calluses:

The skin is a seamless organ but burns, injuries and other traumas such as surgeries can cause a scar on the skin. It is a mark that is left on the skin after the wound has healed. Scarring is a natural part of healing process after an injury. A number of factors however will determine its appearance. Scars don’t go away once formed. They are permanent but can be reduced in size and do fade over time.

Having been under the Surgeon’s blade several times in my life, I bear on my body several scars—some visible and some covered up. Some scars can form keloids due to an aggressive healing process and they tend to extend beyond the original boundary of the injury. I have some of those too. But I must confess I contributed to it. I learnt the hard way to keep my fingers off my wounds. The healing process was delayed and lengthened when I picked and scratched at the wound, and they formed big ugly scars. In instances when I exercised utmost discipline, the scars are thinner and have healed faster.

Scars can impair the function and vitality of the area it is located. For example, when the muscles of the heart are damaged, the heart tries to heal itself by changing the damaged heart muscle cells into scar tissue. Scar tissue is not like heart muscle tissue because it does not contract and cannot help the heart to pump. If enough scar tissue forms in the heart, it can result in a heart failure and sudden cardiac death.

A callus is a toughened area of the skin which has become relatively thick and hard in response to repeated friction, pressure, or other irritation. Since repeated contact is required, calluses will form on any part of the skin exposed to friction over a long period of time. While calluses are generally not harmful, they may sometimes lead to other problems. They can be reduced by softening the skin.

Emotional Scars and Calluses:

The deepest scars and worst calluses are not visible. They are the scars upon our hearts. Words that cut deep into the core of our being. Careless and thoughtless actions of others inflict wounds on our heart and damage the soft spots in our hearts. Deep-seated hurts from many offenses, unmet expectations and disappointments causes emotional wounds in our hearts. These wounds results in scars.

Dwelling on offenses will cause toxic thoughts to fill our heart. The longer these thoughts lingers, the more they take root in our hearts. We replay the hurts until they consume us and the wounds remain open. The longer the wounds are allowed to fester, the bigger and deeper the scars, often causing calluses and hardness in the hearts of the persons involved.

Often, the tendency is to harden our hearts to protect it from further assaults. People with calluses in their hearts will become callous, that is, showing an insensitive and/or cruel disregard for others—their hearts have become hardened. Other words for callousness includes cold-hearted, heartless, lacking compassion, and ruthless. Emotionally hardened, such individuals become indifferent to the suffering of others especially those to whom they have hardened their hearts.

Forgiveness is not optional:

Forgiveness is extending grace. It is extending the same mercy which we have received from God to those who have offended us. We, the objects of God’s mercy, are called to show mercy (Luke 6:36). Forgiveness is giving someone a gift of mercy, and wavering the penalty for their offense. It is also giving yourself, the offended, the gift of a grudge-free life.

When we withhold forgiveness, we not only refuse to offer what God freely gave us, but we also hurt ourselves. Unforgiveness poisons our soul. It weighs down on our heart. It also causes calluses to develop in our hearts thus hardening our hearts.

“Unforgiveness is like taking poison and hoping another person will die.” 

- Joyce Meyer

Ripples of Scarred and Callused Heart

The rippling effects of the oceanic earthquake may have far more devastating effects than the original earthquake as evidenced by the devastation caused by the tsunami following the earthquake. So also when an issue for offense occurs, magnifying the issue and allowing it to fester will lead to far reaching consequences than the initial offense. It is usually the strategy of the enemy to perpetuate the hurt, anger, bitterness and resentment generated by the offense.

Scars in the heart prevents us from having a vital and thriving relationship with God and with others including significant people in our lives. It also impairs our sensitivity and our ability to respond appropriately with compassion to their shortcomings. When this relates to Christians, it results in even a more grievous outcome because it also prevent the word of God from taken root in such the hardened and stony heart (Matthew 13:5). Such persons rationalize their position and actions even when it contradicts the truth of the word of God. It therefore hinders spiritual growth.

Our hardened hearts will make us believe that the situation is gone too far to be redeemed. It causes us to close our bowels of mercy against the person to whom our heart has become hardened, and to consider such persons unredeemable. The Bible offered us several examples of situations that were far gone that God redeemed.

God is the Master of the impossible:

He turned Saul, a hard-hearted murderer of Christians, to Paul, one of the greatest Apostles of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. There is no heart He cannot touch. He is the God Who restored the decaying body of Lazarus back to life. He can restore broken or dead relationships. He caused dry bones to live again. He can restore life and vibrancy to every deadness and dryness in any sphere of our lives.

What this tells me is that there is no situation and no one that is too far gone for God to redeem and turn around. Therefore, we will be putting a cap on God’s infinite ability if we give up on anyone and on any situation or deem that person or situation unredeemable.

© Judykennamer | Dreamstime.com  (edited)

God is able to excise the scars and calluses that have developed in our hearts, and soften even the hardest of hearts. His word is like a hammer upon a hard rock. His word can break in pieces the hardness of our heart. We need to allow God’s word to cleanse us and wash away the bitter and painful experiences by being willing to let the word take roots in our hearts.

Consistent application of the Word of God upon a hardened heart can either soften it or break the hardness of that heart like the hammer shatters a rock into pieces (Jer. 23:29b).

You have a choice:

We have to be careful not to retain malice and deep-rooted bitterness in our heart. One of the ways to prevent scars from extending beyond the boundary of the wound is by not allowing the wound to fester—immediately cleaning out the dead tissues from the wound. Also it is important not to keep scratching, peeling and picking at the surface of the wound.

“…but don’t use your anger as fuel for revenge. And don’t stay angry. Don’t go to bed angry. Don’t give the devil that kind of foothold in your life.” – Ephesians 4:26-27 (The Message).

We give the devil the opportunity to build calluses in our hearts and harden it further when we go to bed angry and offended.

You were not called to be a prisoner of bitterness, malice and unforgiveness. When we allow bitterness to take root in our hearts, it holds the heart bound and defiles us. You can choose break down these prison walls. God is able to cut a path through the wilderness created in our hearts by the scars and calluses, and He can open rivers through the wasteland to revitalise our hearts if we choose to let go of the hurts.

We have the responsibility to guard our hearts with all diligence and vigilance from becoming callused and hardened.

“Get rid of the garbage and its offensive stench, and the rats that  feasted there will leave.”

Will you take the persons who have hurt and offended you off the hook in your heart today? Will you release your pains and hurts into God’s hands and let Him avenge for you?

If and when you do, you will not only become free of the pain but you also open the door to God to do a spiritual surgery on your heart to remove the scars and calluses built up there.

Prayer:

Thank You Lord for caring about how much my heart has been deeply hurt and has become scarred, callused and hardened. I release my pain and hurts into Your hands right now. Thank You for showing me mercy when You gave Your only Son Jesus Christ to die for me on the cross. Thank You for forgiving me all my sins. I choose to extend the same grace, mercy and forgiveness to (name the person/s). I refuse all thoughts of revenge and ill-will towards _______. Thank You for giving me the grace to forgive and to let go. I ask You, dear Lord to heal and restore my heart to wholesomeness. Restore the vitality of my relationship with You and with all those who have been affected by the scars in my heart. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayers, in Jesus name I pray. Amen

Couples or Co-Tenants - Drifting Apart

Many thanks to all of you who emailed your responses to last week's blog. I appreciate your comments and will use them in the next couple of posts during this couple-focused month.

© Mack2happy | Dreamstime.com

Today is February 14^th, a day set aside to celebrate love.

Here is a must-not-miss opportunity to reach out and connect with your spouse in a unique, tangible and active way. An opportunity to put your spouse high on your agenda.

It is a SHOW AND TELL day. And perhaps, a springboard to a renewed and vibrant relationship.

Last week, I shared a short story (fiction) - Adrift, which I am sure many could relate with, and I asked you to comment on what was happening between the couple. I also asked for comments on how the couple can bridge the gulf.

I was prompted to share more about why couples drift apart. And this will be the subject of today's post.

It happened slowly and subtly. The crack lines running deep beneath the surface long before gulf opened wide.

It can happen to any couple irrespective of the length of their marriage. Below are some factors that can cause couples to drift apart.

Busyness:

Your busy schedule can choke intimacy out of your marriage.

When we enter into marriage, we focus attention on each other and that makes us very close. But as years goes on and responsibilities mounts up, our focus tends to turn more towards our jobs, children and a host of other things, and less towards ourselves. When focus is diverted by these day-to-day responsibilities and the marriage is left to languish, couples become disengaged from each other.

If one or both of you is regularly spending more time away from home, more time in the office, more time with other friends, you are likely to drift further apart.

Are you giving your spouse the leftover of your time and the dregs of your strength?

When one or both of you start coming home too tired to give meaningful attention to each other or you find it more interesting to do other things than to be with each other, then you are no longer engaging as an active couple.

Couples drift apart when they no longer have common goals or shared interests, when they begin to spend significant amount of their time and energy with others in shared experience separate from their spouse. This includes time spent with other people with whom you have common goals which can result in closeness with them, and other time- and energy-consuming  activities which excludes your spouse.

When the children and your busy life is all you and your spouse have in common, the marriage suffers. It is no longer exciting and interesting for both of you.

© K Avraham | Dreamstime.com

A marriage that is dry and patchy like an arid desert or stagnant and stale is not an exciting place to be. Busyness can become an excuse to escape from such a dry, stale, boring or tense marriage.

Negative and critical attitude:

We can loose sight of the things we once appreciated in each other. Gestures that used to touch our hearts begin to go unnoticed. We let a lot of time go by without telling each other how much we care about one another. This causes the marriage to become cold and stale to the extent that many are enduring, tolerating and coping with their marriage rather than enjoying and being fulfilled in it.

As we loose focus on our spouse and their needs, we become more vocal when we are irritated by our spouse’s habits and weaknesses. We criticize more rather than encourage each other. We don't  consider how our spouse is affected when we are negative and critical. I don't know anyone yet changed by a nagging spouse! This negative and critical attitude widens the gulf.

Together but separate:

Sharing the same space, even sleeping on the same bed, does not equate to being together.

Being physically together does not mean we are giving attention to each other if we are connected at the same time to the rest of world via texts, emails and social networks. When more time is spent hugging the screens, and we are virtually everywhere except with the physical people we are occupying space with, our marriage is bound to suffer.

Your spouse may be silently screaming for your undivided attention. Your spouse wants to be truly connected with you—spirit, soul and body— instead of sharing you with a host of other people.

Poor Communication:

When you feel your spouse is not listening to you, taking your opinion into consideration and validating you, it makes you feel uncared for and unloved—your opinion is not important enough to be given attention. When we don’t make the effort to find out what our spouse desires, and to respond to them, we become presumptuous about their needs. It gets worse when decisions about issues concerning your life as a couple are taken unilaterally without seeking each other's opinion.

Couples drift apart when they do not take time to talk and listen to each other. When we care about someone, we value them and we value their opinion.

Keeping secrets:

Couple drift apart when they keep secrets from each other. Withholding information that is relevant to the life and vitality of the relationship will create a gulf between you.

Vibrant and intimate relationship requires deep knowing. The depth of your relationship is influenced by how open you are to each other. The sum of what you keep from each other will determine or limit how deep your relationship can be.

Showing indifference:

If you are not concerned about what is happening to your spouse—good or bad, if what your spouse is doing makes no difference to you, and you are not showing interest in each other, then you are no longer engaging as a couple. You are indifferent and are drifting apart.

www.cabaret.co.uk/wp-content/

Festering wounds:

A preacher once said that Christian couples are great actors. They can have issues boiling beneath the surface, come to church, be courteous to each other, smiling and exchanging pleasantries, without giving a clue of what is going on between them. 

When we are unhappy about something our spouse said or did, and we keep quiet about it,  we become sullen and withdrawn. We feel our spouse does not care about our feelings if he/she does not ask us why, and that can makes us resentful.

There are also times when we are not honest about our feelings even when we are asked. We simply respond; "I'm fine or I'm OK"  when we are not. Keeping quiet about something hurting us is like sweeping debris under the carpet. It festers and rots beneath the surface. It makes the relationship bumpy, and often leads to resentment.

So when we don't communicate openly about issues, we are merely saving it for a latter day, it does not go away, it stays between us, until we deal with it and in the right way. If we don't, the hurts pile up, we harbor negative feelings, and eventually we will start exploding over trivial matters. Little resentments when they build up can kill passion and intimacy in the marriage. And tear the couple apart.

Friends, today is a good day to reflect on why couples drift apart. I hope it will ginger you to renew your commitment to actively engage with your spouse and be determined to keep your relationship vibrant.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Be Not Discouraged

You opened your mailbox and clicked on the message

In a quick scan, curt statements declared your effort was not good enough.

Disappointed, discouraged and dejected, you stared blankly at the screen.

Your work rejected. No reason provided.

Hot tears sting your eyes as you struggled to stay in control.

You picked up the letter and opened the envelop.

Cruel, vindictive and unjust words flashed across the pages

Taunting you, mocking you and jeering at you.

With a stroke of pen and malicious intent, you were vilified

The paper fluttered in your trembling hands.

Intense anger raged deep within you like hot lava in a volcano waiting to erupt.

A mix of emotions stirred within me as I helplessly watched these two scenes played out. First, in anger I wanted to scream;

“How dare …?”

Some hours later, I realized anger will not add value. What next then? Like a wisp of smoke, the humming of the hymn “What a Friend we have in Jesus” steadily drifted into my heart until the words took root—“Take it to the Lord in prayer.”

Despised and vilified?

“Take it to the Lord in prayer”

Aggrieved, angry and wounded?

“Take it to the Lord in prayer”

Men of old did the same, when the enemy rose up against them.

When Sennacherib came to invade Judah, Hezekiah took courage and declared, “Do not be afraid or discouraged … there is a greater power with us than with him” (2Chron 32:1 – 23). Sennacherib also wrote letters to Hezekiah—He mocked the king. He terrified the people. He insulted the Lord.

Hezekiah and the prophet cried to God in prayer. God answered. He sent an angel and annihilated the Assyrian host, 185,000 of them, and their king withdrew to his land in disgrace.

Jehoshaphat received alarming news from his men—a vast army had come against him from Edom (2Chron 20: 1 – 30). He resolved to seek the Lord. All the men, with their wives and children stood before the Lord as the king prayed—“… we do not know what to do, but our eyes are on You.” God answered through his prophet saying, “Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s ... You will not need to fight in this battle … Stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you, …”

Jehoshaphat and all the people praised and worshipped God with very loud voice. As they sang and praised, God sent an ambush into the enemy’s camp. They annihilated and destroyed one another.

For forty days, day and night, Goliath presented himself before the army of Israel (1Sam 17:16 – 50). He provoked them. He mocked and terrified them. He reproached the Lord. David encouraged them saying, “Let no man’s heart fail because of this Philistine.” He recalled how God delivered him from the lion and bear while he was tending the sheep. Goliath scorned and despised him.

But David confident in the Lord declared, “… I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty...” Assured that God will deliver the enemy into his hands, and the whole world will know there is a God in Israel. So David prevailed over Goliath with a sling and a stone.

In all these instances, deliverance came by the Hands of the Almighty God. He intervened in a way made obvious to all, that it was only by God’s hands, those called by His name were saved. And there was a great plunder afterwards!

When we endure much ridicule from the proud and much contempt from the arrogant (Ps 123:4), we are assured that God resist the proud and pours contempt on those who defy Him and His people.

These three witnesses encouraged me that at times of great distress; our first action must be to seek the help of God and trust in His enduring mercy.

We should never be discouraged but take it to the Lord in prayer.

If God be for us, who can be against us – knowing that God is with us to help us in all our troubles inspires hope. It encourages us to stand firm. In all these things we are more than conquerors. God makes our trials our gain. Faith in God and His remarkable ability to intervene in mysterious ways on our behalf inspires courage in our hearts in trying times.

When we take it to the Lord in pray, we will ultimately celebrate victory and it will be with resounding thanksgiving.

Are you distressed and discouraged? Will you take it to the Lord in prayer?

Take it to the Lord in prayer. Composed by Joseph M. Scriven 1855. Performed by Chris McDaniel

A battle in my mind

It was Day 29 of dedicated high praise. I woke up that Saturday morning with the same overflowing joy I had testified about in previous posts. My husband and I shared a period of praise and worship together. It was good. I was glad in my heart. It was going to be a busy day. We had a number of things scheduled and he set about them promptly. Between that time and coming out of the bathroom, I found myself in a strange place. Out of the blues, a suggestion dropped into my mind, I held to it and turned it around. Before I knew it had blown out of proportion. I felt I was on a stage, scenes were being suggested to me and it was building up. They were suggestions of offenses from different persons and I was building a response to them until I was in a full scale war mode with persons who had neither offended me nor committed any of the offenses playing on my mind. It was not long before the foul thoughts began to affect my mood. No one was spared, not my husband, not my son though neither of them was at home at this time.

By the time my husband who had gone to shop for us returned, I was moody and cranky. He excitedly displayed his purchases and was met with an arctic chill. All I did was find faults with them. He must have wondered what went wrong within the short time he was away from home that he quietly left me alone. At this point I had to ask myself aloud, “Irene, what is wrong with you?” Why was I unduly critical of my husband? When he came by me again, I apologised for being moody. I told him I was feeling a bit flustered with the multitude of things I had to do. But it wasn’t just that and as soon as I was alone again, the battle continued. When my son came back a short while later, I realised that I had in my mind misjudged his intention and reacted on the basis of the suggestion made to me.

It was at this time that I realised that I was at warfare in my mind. I was receiving wrong signals and allowing them to take root. It was draining me of my energy, both emotionally and physically. I continued to struggle with this for the rest of the day. I tried hard to focus my mind on what was right, pure, of good report and worthy of praise. When I got to church later that evening I knew I could not fully participate in the praise until I had confessed all the offenses that I allowed to take root in my heart and asked God to forgive me.

Reviewing the events of that day, I remembered what I read on Laura Kramer's blog of Oct. 26^th: “revisiting the place you thought you were over” http://www.laurakramersblog.blogspot.com/. For a moment I was angry with myself. How could I have allowed the enemy to rob me of almost a whole day of joy on the basis of unreal events? How did I find myself again at this place? I had serious issues with battles in my mind in the past and by the grace of God I had overcome it or so I thought. Joyce Meyer's book: "Battlefield of the mind" was my most read book at that time after my Bible. Now do note that this is the same me who had testified of experiencing irrepressible joy over the past month. How could things change so suddenly to the extent of becoming unduly critical, fault finding and moody?

I shared these with my husband and he reminded me that it was a spiritual warfare - “We wrestle not against flesh and blood …..but against spiritual wickedness in high places” (Eph 6:12). When the enemy turned on the bad channel I need to consciously change the channel and keep changing it even when it appeared that it was automatically reverting to the bad channel. You do not actively change the channel by thinking on the Word; you do so by speaking the Word. Yes, you speak out the Word and let your ears hear the truth against the lies suggested by the enemy. With the benefit of hindsight I know I ought to have forcefully resisted the enemy and his suggestions (James 4:7a) because “the kingdom of God suffers violence and the violent takes it by force” (Matt 11:12). Anyone who wants to live a victorious life must stand resolute against the enemy.

The devil does not like a worshipper and he certainly was not happy with the high praise and worship I had engaged in or the ensuing joy. He came at me at a point I thought I had overcome and I was caught off guard. But he did not have the last word. No! I will be aggressive at dealing with this whenever it happens again. I am determined not to allow the root of offense to take hold in my heart. Imagine how often our relationships are soured because we allow offenses to take root in our mind even when they are unreal and pure lies. Imagine reacting to your spouse or the people around you on the basis of offenses they had not committed but had become so real howbeit only in our minds.

I promised myself that night that by the grace of God, I will cautiously guard my heart from every suggestion of the enemy. I will resist the enemy with the Word of God and will not allow him to steal my joy. I will actively guard my relationships from the suggestions and lies of the enemy.

Friends, those who would live a victorious life will not give up their hold on it but with fervent zeal hold on until they receive their victory.

Irene O.