Anchor For The Storms

“The LORD redeems the soul of His servants: and none of them that trust in him shall be desolate.” – Ps 34:22

It is so uplifting and such a blessing to know that we have a God Who will never leave any of His own children desolate in the midst of the storm or in the times of hardship or adversity. Desolate, in the sense that one feels abandoned and devoid of help, hope and comfort. He always steps in to rescue us.

My experience during the month of October proved this to me beyond imagination, and it also confirmed to me that God always prepares an anchor ready to hold us fast to Himself so that we are not swept away by the fury of the storms of life. He reveals these anchors as we dwell close to Him and in His presence.

Every year during my birth-month—October, I commit myself to doing something different to deepen fellowship with God and develop a more intimate relationship with Him. As September came to an end, I began to seek God’s face concerning my fellowship with Him in October. I wanted to know what new dimension He wanted to bring into my fellowship with Him. It was on the last day of the September that a verse in the Bible caught fire in my spirit. It was in 1Timothy 2:1. The God’s Word translation encouraged us to make petitions, prayers, intercessions, and prayers of thanks for all people. The Message translation magnified the text urging us to pray in every way we know how, for everyone we know.

A light-bulb flicked on in my spirit—I knew what God wanted me to do throughout the month of October. And I set about doing so—to pray for everyone I know, past and present, in every way I know how to pray.

It was during the first week that I had the foreboding of a storm as I prayed for everyone I know. But in the process of praying for some specific persons, I felt in my heart that it was in the dimension of fighting spiritual warfare—battling the enemy for the souls of these loved one. I knew God had always provided an anchor for me to fasten my faith and hope during storms in the past. And He would surely do so again.

We have an anchor that keeps the soul
Stedfast and sure while the billows roll,
Fastened to the Rock which cannot move,
Grounded firm and deep in the Savior’s love.

God’s word is timeless. It is eternal. It stands firm no matter how fierce the storm may be. David declared that God’s Word and truth are dependable (Ps 119:89-93). “If Your revelation, law and instructions had not delighted and sustained me, I would have given up when hard times came or in my afflictions. This verse jumped at me as I studied my Bible on Monday 12^th.

Sometimes, when storms come, they come with fury, intense fierceness and with high waves that threaten to capsize the boat, such as was recorded in Mark 4. I was elated and filled with joy when I read of how Jesus rebuked the storm and commanded it to be still, and how the storm immediately 

obeyed and became calm.

This word became a lifeline and a sure anchor for me a few hours later when the storm hit. It came in the form of excruciating pain in my lower back. I had my sista-friend, Bidemi visiting me with her husband. We had planned an outing for the day. I refused to allow the pain to cancel our plans. Every step was in pain. Each time the pain seared through my back, the word, “Peace, be still!” echoed in my spirit. So it continued throughout the day. That night, all I could do was cry out, “I rebuke you, storm of pain in the name of Jesus. At the name of Jesus, be still.” At past 2:00 am, the storm obeyed the word of God, and it became calm. And I dozed off to sleep. I could not but give praise to God when I woke up in the morning. I praised Him for giving me that word and bring it to my remembrance before the storm struck. It provided an anchor for me as I was tossed about by the strong stormy winds.

Two weeks later, just before the next storm came, I had a strong leading in my spirit to study about the victory that Jesus died to purchase for us on the cross at Calvary. As I learnt more about the victory that God gave us through our Lord Jesus Christ in 1 Corinthians 15:57, I came to understand that God desires for both you and me to walk in complete and full victory in EVERY situation and every sphere of our lives. We truly have no excuse for not walking in full victory because God has removed every obstacle out of our way because it is His will for us to learn to know the full benefits provided for us in Christ. God always cause us to triumph in Christ Jesus.

I knew I had to add this dimension to praying for everyone that I know so that they may also learn to appropriate the full victory and the full benefits of the cross in every sphere of their lives. God teaches us the secrets of keeping His victory flowing in our heart as we walk close with Him. That was what I wanted for every member of my family and all my friends, and that was what I prayed for them.

When the storm came in the form of an unexplained generalized allergy that caused severe itching all over my body, I held fast to the word of truth that Jesus died to give me victory over the affliction. The pain and the irritation kept my body restless, but my heart rested on the word that anchored me firm with hope.

I refused to give up praying for everyone I know in every way I know. I stood on the premise that Jesus came to set the lawful captives free and to deliver the prey of the mighty. I refused to be distracted by the harassment of the enemy knowing fully well that we overcome by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of our testimony. And in all these things, WE ARE MORE THAN CONQUERORS.

God restored me to full health and strength again. Indeed, He restored me to even greater honour, and He comforted me. The trials and afflictions of my soul helped me to develop endurance and strength of character. October has been a victorious month. It has set the tone for the next eleven months of my life. I will walk in victory in every sphere of my life until I arrive at October 2016.

May your souls find rest in Jesus as you remained anchored by His word of in every storm of your lives. May God’s word sustain you with joy and quicken so that you are enabled to stand strong and overcome the storms.

Choices At The Point Of Change

The temperature in Geneva reached a high of over 40 degrees this week. The highest temperature recorded since 2003. The unbearable furnace-like heat reminded me of my days in Tamale, Ghana and Cairo, Egypt. It was during my sojourn in these places that I experienced such high temperatures. We talked much about those times during the past week.

I paused and pondered.

So much change has taken place in my life since I left Tamale in 2003 and Cairo in 2007.

Change I did not expect
Change I did not engineer
Change I did endure

Change came. It altered the course of my life. It took me to a different altitude.

Since we took off from Geneva, I watched the altitude rising on the monitor, waiting to see when the plane would get to its cruising altitude. It did. 35 minutes into the flight over Luxembourg at 12,195 meters (40,000 feet).

If we hit a storm, the pilot will have to make a choice of possible actions, which may alter the flight path. And we may not arrive at our planned destination, at least not at the scheduled time.

I love flying. That was one of the things I enjoyed working with UNICEF for 15 years—I did a lot of traveling. I love visiting new places. I loved the thrill. I loved adventure.

Change came. It took that from me for a season. But God is turning it around for my good and in my favor.

At the beginning of 2015, I set my watchword for the year—be consistent, complete and stay focussed. Six months gone already, we are in the second half of the year. It is time to take stock and do a midterm review. There's no better place for me to do that than at this altitude—12,000meters above sea level floating on soft white clouds. That's where I am writing this post on my way to Lagos via Amsterdam.

As I pondered on the first half of 2015, I was overwhelmed by how much God has used the change that altered the course of my life to impact lives. It is simply beyond words. This has been a very busy year but who would have thought two years ago that it will turn out this way. I had several opportunities to share my story. The story of God's grace that sustained me through the storm.

Grace kept through the stormy change. Grace is giving purpose to the change. I could not give up on hope during the storm because I have experienced God as a faithful and loving Father. In the face of unexpected change, I learnt that the choices I make will determine whether or not I will fulfil God's purpose for me in the situation and beyond.

I chose never to give up on hope, come what may.

Change is a constant. It is inevitable. It is unavoidable. It is will come to each of us at one point in time or the other and in one form or the other. Some change is for good. Some, not so good.

What do we do when change comes on us unannounced?

The choices you make when you are faced with change will determine your destination—where you end up.

The month of June was profound in many ways. I spent three weeks with my Sista and fellow dream-chaser, Bidemi Mark-Mordi. We encouraged and built each other up as iron sharpens iron. More importantly, from London to Zurich to Geneva, we saw God moving beyond our wildest imagination during the Sistapower Gathering and Women Conferences we attended. He used the stories He has written of our lives to inspire and encourage women from diverse backgrounds to be who God created and called them to be, irrespective of the change that has visited their lives.

We saw God using a willing vessel in London. We saw the dividend of time invested in prayers in Zurich. We saw how God burdened our hearts with the revelation to bring about redemption and heal the broken in Geneva. And plenty tears did flow.

I had many lightbulb moments during the Geneva meeting. God confirmed again that He is too wonderful for comprehension. If you ever think you know God's word so much that you can take it for granted, you need a rethink. The stories of the change that came upon the two Tamars in the Bible came alive for me in a brand new way as Bidemi Mark-Mordi expounded "The Tales Of Two Tamars."

Change came upon these women in the Bible.
It was unexpected.
They did not ask for it.
They did nothing to bring it on themselves.
In fact, they did not deserve it.
Yet change came. And it was cruel.

The two women were broken by those who should have done right by them. They were broken in pieces inside. They suffered the pain they did not solicit.

Does that sound familiar to you?

One was condemned to the broken life of childless widowhood in her father's house. The other was condemned to the broken life of a shamed, defiled and undefended woman.

But that was as far as the similarities went.
Their responses to the change were different.
The choices they made in the face of unspeakable change were different.
The outcome was also different.

What was the difference?

One Tamar stayed in the place of brokenness—the place where she was broken by man, life, and circumstances. She remained desolate in her brother's house for the rest of her life (2Samuel 13).

The other Tamar opted to get up from the place she was broken by three different men. She seized the opportunity and did something about her brokenness. She turned it around. She became the mother of Perez, the great great grandfather of Boaz. Boaz was the grandfather of David (Genesis 38, Ruth 4:16-22).

Life can be unfair. Bringing cruel, painful and often irreparable change. But at what point do you get up and step on the pain? At what point do you jump on the springboard of change and let it catapult you to your next level.

When life visits us and change come upon us, we need to know what does not change; God does not change. His undying love for you does not change. His plan and purpose for your life does not change. Let me assure you that God is working through the change to bring His purpose for your life into full manifestation.

1. What would you do you do when no one can put you together?
Quite honestly no one can put you together when you have been broken. But if you draw strength from above and look up to God, He can put the smithereens back together again.

2. What would you allow to break you that you will refuse to stand again?

When Bidemi asked these two questions, I understood again that God has given us the will to choose. He also made His grace abundantly available if we choose to get up from the places where we have been broken.

My dear friends, what would you do?

Would you choose to stand firm in faith and hope, come what may?
Would you choose not to give up on hope?
The choices you make in the face of change can make or mar your destiny.

You need that the remedy for the bitter pools in your life has been prepared in advance before you get to Marah (Exodus 15: 22-26).

The change your life experiences bring can become assets for your ministry or launching pad to fulfilling purpose. Yes, your pain, your physical/emotional trauma, etc., are assets that can allow you to reach other people who may be going through the similar experience.

I would never have appreciated the depth of pain that goes with losing a child if I have never felt it.
I would never have understood the agony and anxiety of waiting for a child if I didn't suffer a waiting, howbeit short.
I would definitely not have known the challenges, distress and frustrations of living with chronic, long-term diseases but for the twenty years I spent in the valley of affliction.
I would not have given an amputee more than a cursory look until I experienced first-hand the challenges of being an amputee. Now I understand how handicap unfriendly many of our facilities. Many times, I go into the shops, I can't find a place to sit, rest and take the weight off my limbs.

My painful changes and life experiences are taking me to a higher altitude in my walk with God, and in fulfilling God's kingdom agenda.

Yours can too!

What are your painful change experiences? How can it help you become a solution to those around you? Ponder on these questions and do feel free to share. Let's encourage one another.

One Phone Call and A Priceless Gift.

One phone call.

It was a hot summer afternoon in 2011. She was firm. Her voice brooked no argument. She was my doctor.

Six months of planning laid in utter disarray.

“This is not happening.”

She explained why she would not give me a medical clearance to travel. I was not listening.

“You are now active on the waiting list. You can’t travel out of the country.”

A long groan escaped. And my head reeled. She continued speaking. I tried to plead my case. She won’t bulge.

“Thank you very much.” I wiped away the tears I knew she could not see. I was overwhelmed with disappointment. I must have sat there for hours turning the events leading up to that moment in my mind. The scenes flashed by like in a movie.

December 2008 in the intensive care unit, I was in need of non-evasive ventilation. My lungs were not holding any air; I could not breath for myself. They placed a hood that looked like an astronaut helmet over my head while the machine breathed for me. The image reflecting on the window of the Nurses’ station shook me to the core.

The visit to Prof J, my lead pulmonologist, in 2010; when he told my husband and me that he had discussed my case with Transplantation team. He told us they had agreed to review me as a possible candidate for lungs transplantation.

In January 2011, I underwent an extensive medical work-up to determine whether I was a suitable candidate. What they deemed as my complex multi-systemic medical history appeared to pose a huge risk to the surgery and its outcome. I waited for months for them to make a decision. Then I deliberately allowed it to slip off my mind.

I knew this call was coming, but I was not ready for it. I knew the implication of being active on the waiting list for lungs transplantation. It meant one day I would receive the phone call that would convey the message: “Someone has given that I may have a second chance at life.” I did not know how to pray about this. How was I going to ask God to give me quickly what I needed at that phase of my life without thinking of the person who would have to give what I was asking for? I was troubled. I was perplexed. Yet I knew, humanly and medically speaking, this was the only option left for me.

I was waiting for a precious gift from an Unknown Benefactor. Someone who when he/she had the control would have made a decision to give of himself so that someone else can have a chance at life. Someone whose family at the darkest hour of their grief would have to make a decision to abide by the request of their loved one.

That was a tough period.

This one prayer I did pray with all my heart, that I would have the opportunity to meet this individual before the throne of God when I get to heaven.

Two years later, and the call came.

It was on Saturday, April 13^th, 2013. It was a little past 4:00pm. I knew the time because my husband left home for Choir practice less than an hour before the call. Just when I was in the middle of preparing for a major event in my church.

“We are ready for you.” It was Prof. R on the line. It was not a social call. I knew what had happened.

Someone had given. And that person had paid the ultimate price.

My heart skipped a beat. Then it started racing and pounding in my chest.

I was panicking.

He was speaking. I hardly heard him.

“Are you ready?”

I was shaking like a leaf. My legs wobbled. I lowered myself on the black leather sofa in front of me.

“Yes” barely audible escaped like a whisper. He spoke some more—told me the team was waiting for me. I needed to be in the hospital immediately. I thanked him and dropped the phone

It had happened. Someone has given me a priceless gift.

I will never be able to thank him or her.

But I believed God answered my prayer, and I will have the opportunity to see my Unknown Benefactor in God's presence when I get home to heaven. Perhaps, then I will be able to thank him/her.

My heart went out to the family I knew would be grieving at that moment. My hands trembled as I picked the phone again. I called my husband.

“You need to get back home, Prof R just called.” I didn't need to say more. He knew what had happened. “I am on my way,” he replied.

I am a blessed recipient of a priceless gift with which God has given me another chance to live again and fulfill purpose. I understand fully well the import of this precious gift. I am also reminded that I have been so blessed so I can be a blessing to others.  I cannot be an organ donor, but I can give in many diverse ways to make a difference to someone’s life.

So again, today, in the honor of my Unknown Benefactor, I recommit myself to be a conduit of God’s blessings to as many as God brings my way. I commit to use my second chance at life to touch lives for good.

Dear Friends, I ask you to join me on the 13th of April to break your alabaster box and let the fragrance of God's extravagant generosity flow from you to touch someone's life for good. Give the precious gift of kindness. Meet a need. Give a gift of forgiveness. Give someone a reason to release exhilarating praise to God. Go the extra mile to touch someone's life for good.

Do it because it is the right thing to do. Do it because it brings glory to God. It pleases God when we perform acts of kindness in His name.

Do it in honor of those who give that others may live.

We can please God with the aromas that rise from being a blessing to others

– Joe Stowell (ODB, April 2015)

Being a blessing to others is blessing God. Ask God today to lead you to someone who He wants you to touch in a special and unique way. We are blessed to be a blessing.

This post is in honor of organ donors: those who give that others may live.

I dedicated this post to the memory of my Unknown Benefactor.

A Compelling Purpose.

"The compelling purpose of God lies behind everything in life, and that God is divinely shaping us into oneness with that purpose."- Oswald Chambers.

There is an irrefutable, well-reasoned, overwhelming plausible, powerful, potent and irresistible purpose of God behind every event of our lives. There are no chance events in the life of a Believer. Whatever God permits or allows in our lives has a compelling purpose. God’s words and actions are never purposeless.

"The things that happen do not happen by chance—they happen entirely by the decree of God. God is sovereignly working out His own purposes.

God’s will, purpose and plan for His children, does not exclude pain and suffering, even for those He love so much. Jesus is His Beloved Son in Whom He was well pleased. But part of His pleasure is ensuring that His eternal purpose is fulfilled, and that included allowing His Beloved Son to be crushed, beaten and humiliated. It was so that the Kingdom agenda may prosper through Jesus’ pain, suffering and death. How else would you and I have been adopted into God’s family? How else would we have experienced salvation and deliverance? How else would we have had the hope of eternal life with Him in His glory?

 The compelling purpose of God behind Jesus’ suffering was so that the price for sin is paid in full by being the final sacrifice for sin. Because Jesus submitted to God’s sovereign will and purpose, He provided for every human access into the very presence of God. This is the reason you and I have a hope in glory.

Therefore, a Christian is someone who trusts in the knowledge and the wisdom of God to accomplish His compelling purpose for his life in every situation, and not in his abilities. Even when he does not understand it or grasp the significance of the situation or the purpose for it. Christians are those who know that God directs their footsteps and delights in every detail of their life no matter what season of life they may be in or how dark that season may be.

“Each day is held in the hands of a caring Father. Every moment, it is kept by a loving God.” – Roy Lessin

The tagline on my email and my favourite quote is “Kept by the Hands of God, day by day, come what may.” This is informed by the knowledge that my life is kept in the hands of God. It is an assurance that if God holds my life in His hands, nothing can happen to me without His prior knowledge. If God does allow an event in my life, it is for a well-reasoned and overwhelming plausible reason and to fulfil a purpose in His Kingdom agenda.

It, therefore, behoves us as Christians to find purpose in our pain, afflictions and adversity. When we do, we will see blessings in areas where humanly speaking we should be bitter. Being fully persuaded that in all things God is working for our good. Every act of God is suffused with grace.

There are no exceptions to the ALL things. When God says ALL things work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His good purpose, He certainly means ALL things. This is applicable to everyone who loves God and to everyone who is called according to His good purpose.

I love God, with all my heart. I know God has called me for His purpose. I know my calling is to fulfil God's Kingdom agenda. So I can go to the bank on the validity of this promise knowing that God Whose word and promises are infallible is faithful to do just as He has promised.

Therefore, there is a compelling good purpose of God behind my twenty years of living with a chronic respiratory disease and a debilitating neuro-muscular disease. There's a powerful and potent purpose of God behind the amputation of my legs and every other challenging situation I have had to go through.

My pains and afflictions are not purposeless. Now, I see only in part. I am yet to grasp the full significance of all of the events of my life. But, I can definitely testify that God is not only working it together for my good, He is also using the story He is writing of my life to touch lives for good.

You see, my dear friends, God’s thoughts and ways are supremely higher than our thoughts and ways. His thoughts are composed of His eternal purpose, which we cannot fully comprehend on this side of the divide. That is why we cannot presume to know all that God is doing in us in our diverse seasons. Faith compels us to trust in His omniscience, knowing that He has complete and unlimited knowledge and awareness of all things

Many times we want to shield ourselves from some of the things God brings around us. But we need to understand that it is God who engineers our circumstances. Since Jesus’ life dwells in us, every attack on us by the enemy is an attack on the life of Jesus in us. That’s what the devil seek to do. Jesus Christ’s honour is at stake in our bodily lives. Therefore, we need to remain faithful to the Son of God in everything that attacks His life in us.

The compelling purpose of God determines that we walk in a certain path God in His infinite wisdom has assigned to us. Sometimes that path may pass through Gethsemane. In there, grace compels us to, in absolute submission to God like Jesus say, "Not my will but thy will be done." The path may take us through fierce storms where the billows rage and the waves unfurl its fury at us. There also, grace compels us to look to Jesus, sleeping peacefully in the midst of the storm and find peace resting in Him. The path may take us through the fiery furnace of trials and affliction. Grace compels to look to Jesus, Who is our Companion in the troubled and challenging times, and assures us He will never abandon us or leave us alone.

In every season, each of us is in a unique time in life, in a unique place with unique talents and gifts to play our assigned part in God’s story. I believe that God has put me in a unique position in life to fulfil my unique role in God’s story. This unique role will require me to be shaped and fitted for the role. The storms, afflictions, pains and trials I pass through prepare me for that unique role in God’s eternal purpose. This is the compelling purpose for my life at every moment and season of my life.

God has a unique place for you in His story and as part of His eternal purpose. This is the compelling reason for every season of your life. When you submit to His will in each season, soon you will see how the seasons align to lead you to fulfilling your God-ordained destiny. Be assured that the grace of God is available to sustain you through the seasons of your life. Don’t give up in the season even when you don’t understand what it is all about. Rest and trust in God’s omniscience.

Feet Of Grace 2015 Charity Walk_Hit The Street For Their Feet:

Over the past three weeks, I have had to spend many days and several hours with my prosthetist. My prosthesis, the Feet of Grace, made just last year had become very tight and painful to walk in. I have gained back some of the 30kg I lost during the last 10years of my affliction. This experience was a shocking reminder of the situation of amputees in developing countries who have no access to prosthetists and for whom the cost of prosthetic limbs is prohibitive.

The prosthetists, our partners in Nigeria, the Irede Foundation is working with, are located in Enugu. This means that the amputees have to travel to Enugu twice. First time to have the measurements and moulding of stumps done. The prosthetic limbs are then fabricated and customized to fit the amputee. The second time is for fitting and learning how to walk with their new limbs, which requires a two-week stay in a city where they don’t know anybody. Caring for the amputee and one family member who is required to travel with them is included in the cost.

It was at this time; it dawned on me again how blessed I am. The cost of changing just the cup of my Feet of Grace is more that the cost of providing prosthetic limbs to two amputees. I live in Geneva, one of the most expensive cities in the world. God has my back, and He has been taking care of how my Feet of Grace is paid for. Secondly, it takes me 30-40 minutes to get to my prosthetist. I am blessed with a loving husband and great friends who take me for these often very long visits and stay with me without complaining. Lastly, I have a physiotherapist working with me on a weekly basis, helping me to become accustomed to walking with my Feet of Grace on all terrains, climbing slopes and staircases. That’s why I can contemplate a 5k Charity Walk in less than two years after amputation.

Chidi and Olivet do not have such privileges or opportunities. Without your support, they cannot regain their autonomy. But you and I have been positioned at this unique time to help these amputees to fulfil their unique roles in God’s story. Indeed, we have been blessed to bless. They are counting on our support.

Happy Easter from my family to yours. May the resurrection power be at work in your life through this season and beyond.

Once Upon A Time Of Feet And Painted Toenails_Part 2

This is the concluding part of Once Upon A Time Of Feet And Painted Toenails.

“You have a right to be angry.”

“With whom?” I queried in my heart, staring blankly over the shoulders of the Psychiatrist and her assistant standing by my bedside.

The doctors have done the audit. Nobody could explain what went wrong. There was no negligence reported or indicated. So who was I supposed to be angry with? God? I mused, still not saying a word.

“It is important to express your emotions. You can grieve about this. Talk to us.”

“I don’t have anything to say.” I looked straight at her and smiled. “I have asked all the questions I can ask the doctors about this.”

“What is the point of talking with you? What can you do for me? What comfort can you offer me?”

“I'm Ok. I am taking one day at a time.” I told her. They went on about my need to talk. They thought I was in denial. I even found out that they put me on a low dose of anti-depressant. They thought because I wasn’t talking to them I was depressed and not dealing with the issue. They asked the nurse who had known me the longest during my ten years of frequent sojourn on that ward to come and talk to me.

She tried. And I could see that she was visibly upset that I was not opening up to her. So I said to her, “J'ai décidé depuis longtemps que je ne jamais renouncer l’espoir. Mon espoir est à mon Dieu.” I made up my mind a long time ago that I will never give up on hope, and I was not going to start now. It was on that note that she left me alone.

I repeated the same to the Psychiatrist when she came back to see me, and begged her to stop the medication. I told her I did not need it. Hope is my anti-depressant. This was strictly between me and God. The doctors can’t answer the questions running all over my head. But God surely understands where I am coming from when I cry out to Him in the dead of the night when there was not one near to hear my cry.

I finally got myself to hold my stumps. I cradled them in my hands. I looked at what is left of my legs. Tears laced my eyes. I blinked them away. I will not cry, I told myself. Nothing prepares you for this. Not once in my almost 47 years before that day, did I ever imagine I could be at this phase of life as an amputee. It is at such times that you know you have to make an active and deliberate decision to tap into the grace of God that is readily available and sufficient sustain you.

Graham Kendrick's song, To You, O Lord I lift up my soul, from Psalm 25 floated back into my spirit. The lyrics ministered to me. 

No one whose hope is You will ever be put to shame.

That’s why my eyes are on You O Lord

Surround me, defend me

O how I need You

To You O Lord I lift up my soul

My hope is in God. I cannot be put to shame because God will defend me and surround me with His love and mercy. I will not be ashamed of my body. If I am not ashamed of me, then nobody can make me feel ashamed of my body. I will not play the victim. I will not, by the grace of God, be a subject of pity. If I keep my head and my spirit high, no one will be able to pity me or my situation.

The psychotherapist working with amputees came and sat with me several afternoons. She had tried to talk to me before the amputation. I was not ready to listen to what she had to say. And I refused to read the information materials. She was resilient. She did not push me to talk. She just wanted me to know that I have to deal with the change in my body image.

Let me note here, if you are ever with someone who has lost a limb, please don’t ever tell the person that there are many people living with missing limbs and doing great. “Why do I have to be one of them?” was my reaction. That is not what an amputee wants to hear, certainly not in the beginning when the person has to adjust emotionally to a body with conspicuously missing parts.

This lady waited until I was ready to talk about the change in my body. Then she supported me and my family to get all the information we needed to cope with our new definition of normal. Then, they arranged for us to watch a video of people living with amputation. We watched it as a family there in the hospital. We were able to ask more questions. It helped us a family to do this together.

But none of these prepared me for the day, I was going to have my first fitting with the prosthetic limbs. I sat on my wheelchair in the open waiting room. It was summer. Every single lady who walked past me on the corridor was wearing dainty slippers showing off their beautifully manicured toenails. It felt like an orchestrated parade to taunt me. I felt as if the enemy was flashing in my face what I had lost and would not be able to do again. Pain and grief welled up from within me. My slippers at home flashed before my sight.

Tears laced my eyes again. I blinked them off. I will not cry here. No, I will not!

A few days earlier, I had struggled with my emotions as the physiotherapist told me that my new feet were to be customized to a fixed angle which will allow me to wear only shoes only 2-3cm high. They strongly recommended sneakers for security as it would clad the entire foot and help me to maintain my balance.

“What? Only one type of shoes every day?” I screamed at them. “That is not possible. I can’t wear sneakers seven days of the week!” They explained to me why I needed to wear shoes with sturdy and broad heels.

“It is for your safety. You have to maintain your balance. You must not fall.”

I am a Yoruba woman. Who wears sneakers with wrappers and long skirts? What was I going to do with all my shoes? I simply refused to accept sneakers as an option. They refused to accept my low-heeled pumps because they were not completely covered, and my feet could slip out of them. Finally, they agreed to the pair of shoes I used on field trips and visits to communities when I was working with UNICEF. They were completely covered with a zipper but 4cm high. They customized my feet for this shoes. This was my only pair of shoes for months. Much later, we went to shops with measuring tape until my husband found me broad-heeled shoes with the same height and a bit dressier.

I shared in Make The Next Move Forward  what it was like the first day I tried on my prosthetic limbs.

I knew I had to let go of my shoes. It would be a torture to keep them. Why keep them and moan over them if they can be a blessing to others? So when I got back home from the hospital, I brought all my shoes out. I had a farewell party with them. I gave thanks to God for the joy of having them and asked God to make them a blessing to all those who would wear them for me. We bagged the shoes, many of them with their bags, and with joy and peace in my heart, I released them to go to my friends. I pleaded with a number of them to wear them for me. But I could not let go of my oldest pair of shoes—my first set of purple shoes. That remains a memento of the days of passion for shoes.

I went in search of photographs of my legs, only to find that most of the time, my legs were covered in long skirts, trousers and wrappers. Those in which I was wearing short skirts were not showing my legs or painted toenails. Who goes out of their way to take photographs of their legs and painted toenails? Then, I found the photograph taken at my first son’s high school graduation. It turned out to be the best picture of my old legs. It was a gift from God. He knew I needed to see those legs again in their former glory. The last time I saw them as such was when I stood up and changed into the theatre gown before my lungs transplantation. It was also the last time I stood on them.

I perused every detail of my legs. But rather than be sorrowful, my heart lifted with joy. I bless God for every single step I took with those legs. I blessed Him for all the opportunities He gave me to go places with them. I thank God for the time I had with them. They have fulfilled their assignment and have gone home ahead of me. The season of painted toenails and dainty slippers was over. It was great fun while it lasted. Like a dear sister wrote to me, there await me a glorious pair of legs when I get to heaven.

For the rest of my stay here on earth, God has provided me with the Feet of Grace that will take me to places beyond my imagination and to where my natural feet could not have taken me, just as He promised. He has given me the tools I need to fulfil my assignment and the purpose for which He called me. So I wear my Feet of Grace with grace and head lifted high to the glory of God.

Feet of Grace 2015 Charity Walk_Hit The Street For Their Feet:

Join me / Support me to walk 5km to raise funds for amputees that they may walk again.

Once Upon A Time Of Feet and Painted Toenails

"Give me a glass of water, please," I said to my first son with eyes fixed on the screen of the laptop and fingers relentless on the keyboard. I heard him shift his 80kg, 1.70m frame up from the carpet he laid on behind me.

"Who took my slippers?" he demanded.

I paused for a brief moment and thought about his question. “Oh, I think your uncle took them when he went down to the cave a few minutes ago," I answered as I recalled his uncle looking for a pair of slippers to put on earlier. It is very cold in the cave, and he did not want to go down wearing just his socks.

Eyes still fixed on the screen and without turning in his direction I added, "You can take my slippers." There was no movement or response from him. I turned around and saw a weird look on his face, he was staring at the spot on the floor near me. Then, I looked down to the floor. That was when it hit me. There were no slippers on the floor by me. There were no feet either. I didn't have my Feet of Grace (prosthetic limbs) on. My stumps were resting on a stool under the table.

We exchanged a look that spoke louder than words. For a brief moment, I forgot that I am an amputee. I don’t have my feet anymore. And I can't wear my slippers too.

For many years, I took great care of my feet and toenails. I had feet spa and pedicure regularly before I came to live in Switzerland. Then I realized that it was wisdom for me to do my pedicure myself at home. It was too expensive to go to the salon to do it. I shared many happy moments with my sons; they both struggled to help me to remove my nail polish and to put a fresh one. Each son worked on a foot. The fastest always wanted to move to his brother's side, which, of course, always result in an argument. They did that without any complaint until they became teenagers, and I could not get them to help me clean and polish my toenails anymore!

I loved jogging and walking. With those feet, I covered many kilometres. I even did some competitive running and swimming in the university when I represented my hall of residence during the inter-hall games. Each time I went for walks with my husband, he always had to slow me down because I was a very fast walker, always taking long strides.

Another favourite hobby of mine was shoes collection. I like my shoes, with their coordinating bags. I liked them with high heels, at least 6cm high. I didn't like flat heeled shoes because I felt I walk like a duck in them. I like to walk with long strides with my back straight and to hold my head high. I learnt to place a heavy book on my head when I was a teenager to ensure that I walk without slouching. And I liked dainty slippers that showed off my toenails.

“How many shoes can one woman wear?” asked my husband in utter amazement many times. My ready-made response was that they were of different colours and styles. I have a couple of Sistas who beat me hands down when it comes to shoes collection.  “Imelda Marcus’ junior sister” as we nicknamed her, used to be my shoe-exchange partner. Then I met the mother of all shoes’ collectors, the height of her shoes and the way she moves in them dropped my jaws. I remember gleefully telling my husband that he should be happy I was not as bad as my two friends.

I had just polished my toenails during the week leading up to April 13^th, 2013 when the hospital called me in for the lungs transplant surgery. I did not have time to remove the nail polish before going into the hospital, just did the fingernails. When I woke up from induced coma over four weeks later, it was the unusually brilliant polished toenails that caught my attention. I realized later that my usually subtle colour stood out because my feet had gone very dark as a result of the necrosis.

I learnt later that the doctors had told my husband that my feet were not likely to recover and to protect the precious gift of life God gave me, they would need to amputate my feet. He told me that he refused to accept their verdict. He went back home, brought all my shoes into the middle of the bedroom and began to pray that the owner of the shoes would have the opportunity to wear them again. That was before God gave us the word of assurance that He would give me the Feet of Grace that would take to places beyond my imagination and where my natural feet cannot take me.

For many days after the amputation, I refused to look at the stumps. Each time the nurses changed the dressing, they asked me if I wanted to look at them, and I answered with an emphatic "No!" turning my face away. The wounds healed with such amazing rapidity that I could not help but notice the joy with which the nurses announced it to each other.

Finally, I looked. First at the space where the rest of my leg and feet should have been. Then I looked at the stumps. The nurse examining them looked up at me, “they are healing so well” she said. “It is remarkable.” The skin was dry and peeling off in big chunks. It required that we applied a special lotion every night before putting a light bandage on them. First, my husband offered to do it. Then my sons took turns every night to apply the lotion and bandage the stumps before leaving the hospital for home. They did not show any awkwardness touching the stumps neither were they ashamed. It was a huge deposit on my self-esteem account.

And that was the beginning of the path to my emotional recovery. It was rough but I am still standing, kept by the grace of God and the support of my husband and sons. Watch out for the concluding part of this story in the next post.

Feet of Grace 2015 Charity Walk_Hit The Street For Their Feet:

 Be a part of making the dreams of these amputees come true. Walk with me or support my 5km Charity Walk to raise 15,000 Swiss Francs. This will be used to procure prosthetic limbs for Chidi and Olivet and wheelchairs for those still waiting. Read more about this on my last blog: Feet Of Grace In Motion

Date:  Saturday, April 25^th, 2015 D.V.

Let a message in the comment box below for more information. Together we can help these amputees regain their autonomy and get on with their lives.

May the Lord richly reward your generosity.

Feet of Grace In Motion

March came upon us with the speed of the lightning. It is apt that my first blog post in March should be about matching and moving forward. The chorus below composed by Lorraine Gwanmesia-Missatou, and beautifully sung by the Tribe of Judah Choir (TRCI, Geneva) summarizes the post so well.

We are matching,

Moving forward

Rising in the name of the Lord

You are Holy. You are Lord

There is no one else like You.

A healthy adult is expected to take an average of 10,000 steps a day. I work at home. I spend most of the day sitting; writing, beading or working on the computer. I go out of the house 2-3 a week at best. So when I make an average of 2000 steps a day, I am rejoicing. But it wasn’t always like this. Once upon a time, I ran 4 x 400m relay in the university. I jogged the perimeter of the University College Hospital, Ibadan. I walked up to 3km as part of my routine exercise. I flew with wings spread wide.

Then life happened. My health went down the hill. I became oxygen-dependent in 2007 and home-bound by the following year. And it got to the point when I longed so much to stand upright and walk that I wept.

Let me recap the story of God’s amazing grace that sustained me through the valley of affliction and put me back in motion again.

Here’s my story:

For twenty years, I lived with a chronic respiratory disease and a debilitating neuromuscular disorder, which my doctors referred to as a complex multi-systemic disorder. The pain and the distress of the latter eight years of this period are beyond what I can share in this post, which took its toll on every sphere of our lives as a family.

In April 2013, I underwent a surgery to replace my diseased and failing lungs. Though the lungs transplantation went very well, I developed severe complications within forty-eight hours following the surgery, which required that coma was induced as my organs began to fail. When I came out of the coma four weeks later, my doctors and my husband broke the devastating news that my hands and feet may need to be amputated. This was because I had poor blood circulation during the coma resulting in insufficient flow of blood and oxygen to my extremities, causing necrosis in both my hands and feet. My hands recovered miraculously, but God promised to give me the Feet of Grace that will take me to places beyond my imagination and where my natural feet would not have taken me.

My legs were amputated below the knees on Friday, May 31^st, 2013. At the mid of life, I was faced with the challenge of living life as an amputee. When I came out of the theater without my feet, all I could say to my husband with tears streaming down my face was “they took my feet.” Two days later, on Sunday afternoon, the nurses switched off the oxygen and the ventilator. For the first time in over seven years, I took a breath without support and my oxygen saturation did not flinch. It remained at the normal level. It was a breath of fresh air for our lives, a breath of hope and grace. As we laughed and praised God, the balm of Gilead was released on our hurting hearts.

One month later, I stood up straight and erect between parallel bars surrounded by Physiotherapists, but it was with mixed feeling. Happy that after a long period of lying flat on my back, then oscillating between the bed and the wheelchair, I was finally able to get off my rear. I stood up even though it was for a few minutes. My doctors said I had a remarkably fast healing and recovery. I was their first amputee ready to walk with prosthetic limbs within one month of amputation.

At the same moment, my heart was heavy as I looked at the provisional prosthetic limbs, and I couldn’t imagine walking with them for the rest of my life. That was when the reality of what had happened finally dawned on me. I revolted against it. Focussing on the limitation it posed, the pain and the difficulty almost overshadowed the joy of standing again. Thankfully, God ministered His peace into my heart and brought me through that valley.

My Feet of Grace

I took my first step with the prosthetic limbs the following day. It was with great difficulty and pain. I chanted, “I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me” every step I took as I learnt how to walk again. I learnt how to maintain my balance. I have been marching forward since then.

Within one year after the amputation, and following extensive rehabilitation with the support of my family, friends, doctors, and physiotherapists, I was able to start living life to the full and the overflowing again. And now, I can walk up to 5000 steps at least one day a week, which is about 3km.  

I am a living testimony of the truth that there is no one else like God. It confirmed what my husband said following the amputation that people will see me and declare; “she is grace in motion.”

Going Forward:

The idea to start the Feet of Grace Foundation was birthed about six months after the amputation. My Sista-Friend confirmed the word God gave us earlier. She told me that my assignment going forward is to take the testimony of God’s amazing grace that sustain me through my season of storms to every place God will open up to me. Sharing the story of God’s grace that kept me through the twenty years of living with chronic and debilitating diseases, gives me the opportunity to inspire hope in people facing life’s challenging situations. I know for a truth that God’s grace is sufficient for when life happens.

The period during which I was compelled to sit down without being able to stand or walk was relatively short. However, it gave me an insight into the plight of those who are compelled to sit down for a long-term because of the inability to access funds for prosthetic limbs. Being able to walk again made a huge difference in regaining my autonomy and pursuing my dreams. This ignited my desire to do the same for other amputees especially those who cannot afford the high cost of the prosthetic limb.

So it is with gratitude to God and great joy that I present to you….

Our Vision:       

To enrich lives and inspire hope in those facing life’s challenging situation.

Our Mission:    

1. To bring the message of God’s amazing grace that is abundantly available to sustain believers through the dark seasons of their lives. We are endued with grace to endure afflictions and trials.
2. To create opportunities for those compelled to sit down in a stand-up world, to stand and walk again.

Feet of Grace Foundation will bring messages of hope and encouragement to those facing different life challenges as well as to people living with amputated limbs and their families. We plan to have a website and a Facebook page for this purpose and to showcase the activities of the Foundation. The foundation will also create awareness and advocate friendly environment for people living with disabilities. We will carry out activities to raise funds for the procurement of prosthetic limbs for amputees.

The first of such charity activities, tagged "Hit The Street For Their Feet” is scheduled to take place on Saturday, April 25^th, 2015. This is a 5km Charity walk around the Commune of Versoix in Geneva. Please mark the date. The funds raised will be used to provide prosthetic limbs for two amputees in collaboration with Irede Foundation in Nigeria.

 

Be a part of making a dream come true:

Dear Friends, join us to make the dreams of these two amputees come true. Together, we can. If you are willing and ready, please leave me a message in the comment box.

Keep marching and moving forward. You can do all things through Christ Who strengthens you.

Shared Lives. Shared Dreams. Shared Goals – Part 2

For over a week, I played a “you can’t catch me” game with the flu bug. It has been a roller coaster ride, feeling great one day and off-colour the next.  It has also been a battle of will to get this blog post completed. I started writing the second part of the Shared Lives post ten days ago. The feedback I got after I posted the first part and the inspiration from further reading on the subject, fired my determination to complete the post today despite the watery eyes, heavy head and sneezing a thousand per minute. I am persuaded that I have the victory over the flu bug.

Unique and Significant:

My marriage is unique and significant in God’s Kingdom agenda. God has a unique purpose for my husband and me to fulfil. So our marriage is not just about us; it is also about the impact God desires for our marriage to make in the world about us. This principle is true for every couple. It is imperative that we keep this notion in the forefront and as a primary vision for our marriages.

Because God has a sovereign and eternal plan for our lives, we know that every detail of our lives are small pieces of the larger picture God has in mind of our lives. Therefore, our marriage is a significant piece of God’s larger picture and eternal plan our lives.

Therefore, we need to understand that each marriage is unique, and God’s plans and purpose for your marriage is unique. This knowledge prevents me from comparing my marriage with another marriage. My husband and I have our unique individual gifts, strengths, skills, talents, calling, weaknesses, and failings, which combined in our shared lives have given our marriage its unique identity—same is true for you and your spouse too.

Shared Vision:

The Bible says that the people perish without a vision. Without a vision, a couple in marriage will have no target to aim for to keep their passion stirring. We need a vision in order to move with intensity towards a goal.

“…I will know that you are standing together with one spirit and one purpose, fighting together for the faith, which is the Good News.” – Philippians 1: 27b.

The scripture above gives us another impetus for the sacredness of our shared lives as a couple and an insight into God’s eternal vision for us. We are called to stand together as a couple with one spirit and one purpose—united in spirit and united in purpose. Then we can fight together for the faith. Unity in the spirit and purpose is essential for a couple to fulfil God’s plans for their marriage. We need to remind ourselves constantly that we are in this together for the long haul—as long as we both shall live.

An understanding of the eternal essence of our shared vision will give each of us in our marriage a different perspective in dealing with the issues we face as we go on the journey of our shared lives. It will also encourage us to stay true to the course no matter how rough the journey may be.

If a couple has different life goals and values, this will result in several opportunities for conflicts as both will be going in different directions. You can’t be united in purpose and focussed on the same vision or goal if you have divergent values and you are unwilling to change. Hence, it is important at the onset of a relationship, during the discovery stage, to focus on knowing the values you both hold to strongly.

Ask a thousand questions when you are courting. That is your fact-finding season.

Enhancing Oneness:                                                        

In order for each couple to fulfil their unique purpose, they need to grow together as one and be united in purpose.

Sharing lives together is therefore much more than sharing space. It is not enough to be together in the same room; it is important that you give focussed attention to each other. If you are focussing on other things when you are together or when your spouse is talking to you, then you are not giving quality attention to your spouse. It is only when we pay attention to one another that we can find out what is uppermost in the mind of our spouse. You can’t assume that you know your spouse so well that you don’t need to ask them what they want, what they need and what their opinion is. This will amount to taking your spouse for granted. Your spouse’s opinion matters.

Also, the time spent together in a common pursuit enhances your intimacy and oneness. It also communicates that you care about each other’s interests, and you enjoy being with each other.

Communication is vital in a marriage.

Learning effective communication skills can be a marriage saver.

It is also important to be supportive of each other's dreams. But you can only support what you know about. So if you are not sharing your dreams with your spouse, you are limiting the opportunities and your spouse’s ability to support you.

Your shared dreams as a couple have to be strong and vital. It must engage both of you to get you stirred up and motivated. Dreaming together as a couple and planning towards attaining your dreams together is powerful in making your marriage strong and deepen your intimacy. Thus enhancing your oneness.

Since God did not give you or your spouse psychic abilities to read each other’s mind, talking to each other and listening to one another is vital is essential for your shared lives to thrive and remain vibrant. It should be in a language that is clearly understood and without ambiguity.

Be Kind To Each Other:

Are you as kind to your spouse as you are with others outside your marriage? Are showing the same grace to your spouse as you extend to others?

There are many who are very tolerant and accommodating of the shortcomings of those outside their marriage who do not extend the same mercy to their spouses. As noted in the blog post last week, the main purpose of marriage is that through your marriage, you become more conformed to the image of God by showing unconditional love, mercy and grace. It is in marriage you learn to pour yourself lavishly on someone who doesn't deserve it or respond appropriately.

I am a strong believer that a couple should be each other’s best friend, acting in the best interest of each other and giving their best to each other. After all, you are sharing lives together with each other in a way you can’t share with another person, and you are bound together by a covenant. Your marriage is a covenant relationship. This also means that right from the onset, the relationship is founded on a solid friendship.

“Your marriage is a living example of what it is like to be in close relationship with you.”

Micheal Hyatt – How To Be Your Spouse’s Best Friend

The following are some of the elements of a strong marriage founded on shared lives;

1. Staying strong and vibrant is important to both of you—a shared goal and dream.
2. You are both willing to work together to stay strong.
3. Being focussed and unified in purpose.

The pursuit of shared goals will promote unity in the marriage and align efforts so that the couple are working together in the same direction. Lack of unity results in decreased marital satisfaction, increased stress and a waste of time, energy and resources. Unity is achieved when you align your values, vision, goals and plans.

Working together to achieve your shared dreams and shared goals requires vital and frequent consultations during which you learn and understand each other's strength, weaknesses and preferences. This information can be used for the mutual benefit of the relationship to avoid conflicts.

When you understand who does what best in your relationship, then you can allow each other to focus on what you do best. You learn to use your differences to complement each other as a thriving team.

Marriage is a test of perseverance:

Good marriages are marked with several milestones of perseverance. God wants us to keep pressing forward in our marriage together, overcoming challenges, obstacles and difficulties as we share lives as one. It is in persevering that we have victory that brings glory to God in our marriages.

Let us not become weary in doing good,  for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. – Galatian 6:9

It is by pressing on that we attain God’s best for our marriage. There will be times when you will feel like you are pressing on for deeper intimacy and oneness in your marriage alone. Don’t be weary and don’t give up. Be assured that God is working on your spouse just as much as He is working on you. 

So you just do your part in absolute reliance on God. He has a stake in the success of your marriage because He designed your marriage to succeed.

I pray that you and your spouse will press forward together in your shared lives with determination until you attain God’s eternal purpose for your marriage. Grace to you.